


Beautiful Mistakes

by Mysteryred



Series: Beautiful Mistakes [1]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)
Genre: Drama, F/M, Family, Friendship, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-08
Updated: 2015-06-22
Packaged: 2018-04-03 09:53:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 57
Words: 86,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4096528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysteryred/pseuds/Mysteryred
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karai helps her hybrid friend Zoë rescue their friend Exodus from a Kraang lab, meanwhile the turtles are at the same lab to rescue April, its all downhill, and back up again from there... especially when they bring more home than they bargained for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Raphael**

 

 _Pop!_ Chomp. Chomp. Chomp. _Pop!_

"Grrr."

Chomp. Chomp.

_If I have to listen to that sound for one more second._

Chomp.

"Grrr."

_Pop!_

I clench my teeth as I look my little brother in the eye and jab his beak. "If you pop that gum one more time I'm gonna smack it right out of your mouth!"

Mikey flashes me an innocent smile.

I raise an eye ridge as I back away.

Chomp. Chomp. Chomp.

"We should be able to get in through that skylight." Donnie whispers as he and Leo examine the greenhouse shaped window.

_Pop!_

I whirl around, smacking my orange clad brother so hard the gum flies out of his mouth, sending it soaring through the air, attaching to Donatello's cheek with a _squish_.

"I told ya!" I grin.

"Ow! _Hey!_ I forgot!" Mikey protests as he rubs the back of his head.

"Gross! Get it off! Get it off!" Donnie grabs the pink glop, pulling it from the side of his face in long gooey strands. It sticks to his fingers and he whips his hand around flinging the blob over his shoulder were it attaches to his bo. Pulling forth his weapon he swings it wildly trying to get the goo off.

"Hey watch where you're swinging that thing Donnie!" I yell, ducking as the six foot wood stick flies over my head, only to miss me and make contact with the back of my little brother's legs.

"Whoa!" He flails, grabbing for the closest thing to him.

Mikey's light green hand grabs the side of my shell as Donnie's staff whirls past my head yet again. I grab it and yank, Donnie flies forward slamming into Mike who falls back crashing into me with a grunt.

"Quiet down! Everyone! Be quiet! We're ninjas we're supposed to be-" My older brother, Leo, is waving his hands at us making cut throat gestures.

"Quiet!" We yell at him, each of us from within our spot in a heap of turtle.

He rolls his blue eyes and palms his face.

"Get offa me!" I push Donnie's face with my hand while shoving my foot against Mikey's cheek.

"Shhh!" Leo hisses his gaze shifting toward a nearby rooftop.

As we finish untangling ourselves, there's a shift in the air.

We fall silent, slipping into the shadows of the rooftop. I watch the human dressed from head to toe in solid gray land gracefully just feet from the skylight. Mikey is craning to see around me, a fresh wad of gum rolling around in his mouth. He glances at me, a small pink bubble slowly emerging from between his lips. I clench my teeth, snatch the blob, slap it to his forehead and shove him back.

Now I can shift my focus back to the newcomer. From the shape of the body and the garb, I'm pretty sure it's a kunoichi.

_Karai's supposed to meet up with us. But there's no armor on the uniform and Karai wears black._

The stranger pivots before the skylight, scanning her surroundings. I can't see her face or hair. Both are covered with a mask that matches her clothes. She's carrying a silver compound bow and black keep over her back. Reaching into the keep she pulls something out, using it to cut a hole in the glass before slipping in a gloved hand to unlock the window.

She disappears through the skylight, pulling it shut after her, and we gather around.

"I'm going to go out on a limb and say that wasn't Karai." I say looking at Leo.

"Not Karai, she texted me and cancelled. Master Splinter asked her to stay with him instead." Leo glanced at Donatello knowingly and I wait to be filled in.

Donnie rubbed his cheek, picking off some residual chewing gum. "All of the new test subjects are female. Sensei didn't want to risk them getting their hands on Karai. I think her mutation is still too fresh for her to argue with him right now."

"But you cured her." Mikey said as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Yes, but this is The Shredder's project, Stockman's just the scientist. Shredder would use Karai just to hurt Sensei." Leo knelt down and reached a hand through the hole in the glass and lifted the skylight door. "Let's get April before it's too late."

We slipped inside, creeping along the top floor of the ten story building. The hallway was plain, long, starch white, empty, and lined with closed doors. Mikey ran up to each one, peeking inside the rectangular windows.

"Nope. Not April." He said each time.

"Mikey cut that out, you're going to-" Leo was interrupted by the arrow whizzing over Mikey's head, past mine, Donnie's and his own, before landing into the chest of a Kraangdroid. In the next second the lights in the hall flickered and went out.

_Well this just went south._

I shrug.

_Eh, could be worse._

Suddenly the door Mikey had been peeking in, yanked open and a robot hand reached out grabbing him by his throat. Kraangdroids flooded the hall on all sides of us.

_It just got worse._

I reach for my sai and spring into action.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Zoe**

_What kind of ninja's walk down a lit hallway?_ From my spot, perched in the ceiling, I risked the awkward shot to save the turtle in blue. _These must be the friends Karai had mentioned._

_Turtles huh? Eh, I've seen weirder._

Karai did her part cutting the lights and just in time, that is after my arrow whizzed by all four of the turtle's heads. The thrill of knowing my next move sent my pulse racing. With fingers clenched around my dagger I dropped from the ceiling right onto the head of a Kraangdroid. Quickly I jabbed it in the neck to sever its vital wiring. As the machine fell over I leapt from it, reaching into my waist pouch and tossing three shuriken at oncoming droids.

The turtle in orange had alerted the Kraang with his peeking, and now they were filling the hall from both ends and coming out of the doors lining the hallway. The turtles were surrounded. The droids were firing lasers and I was flipping, ducking and weaving to avoid getting shot. I spotted Karai at the other end of the hall and mimicked her brilliance, snatching up a laser gun from a fallen android and making my way down the hall, shooting every enemy in my way.

_For alien technology they couldn't hit a spaceship with another spaceship for their lack of skill._

"Karai!" I heard the blue clad turtle yell as she made her way right past him, toward me.

Karai waved a hand at him, still shooting her way through. We met up just outside the turtles fight. The battery died on my gun and I tossed it aside, reaching for my tessen. Karai and I took up a fighting stance side by side, clearing our end of the hall as the turtles were pushed towards us. I groaned as more droids marched in.

"This way!" Karai yelled, motioning for us to follow her. She bolted down the hall, ducking into a stairwell. We raced down four flights before she stopped on the landing. "There's more coming from below us. We're on the six floor, we need to get to the third to get April and Exodus."

"They're still following us from upstairs too!" The purple masked turtle looked up the stairwell then ducked his head into his shell as lasers shot down at us.

"This way!" Karai tried to open the door but it was locked.

"Outta my way!" The red masked turtle shoved her aside before stabbing the keypad with his sai. It made a hissing noise and the lock released. He flung open the door and we followed him into the unlit hall.

We raced down the hall, into another stairwell, leaping down the last three flights before rushing into yet another hallway.

"She and April are in the same dorm." Karai said, sliding to a stop three doors down on the right side. She tried to open the door but it was locked, "Raph?" She glanced back at the red masked turtle and he attacked the keypad with his sai again.

"Why aren't you at home Karai?" The blue clad turtle snapped at her.

"I'm a big girl Leo." She didn't look at him as she opened the door and stepped back, outstretching her arm to keep him from slipping into the room first. "Ladies first," she motioned to me and I leapt into the room ready to fight.

The six of us filled the middle of the dorm room. It was small, with a single set of bunk beds, a dresser and a nightstand. The bottom bunk was empty. The top bunk was occupied by a red-haired girl.

 _Another redhead, huh?_ _I bet I like her._

"Donnie?" The girl's blue eyes were red-rimmed and underlined with dark circles.

The purple masked terrapin helped her down. "Are you okay April?"

"I think so. They didn't come for me yet. They took Exodus." She rubbed her temple and looked at me. "You must be the friend she talked about."

The turtle pulled April closer to him protectively as I stepped toward them.

A green hand came down on my arm and spun me around as I reached out to the red-haired girl.

"Who _are_ you?" The blue masked turtle demanded.

"She's with me Leo." Karai answered from beside him.

"And she is?" The red masked one gestured toward me with his sai.

"Not now," I said shrugging the blue one's hand off me and turning back to April. "Where did they take her?"

"The lab, it's in the basement." April stepped out of the purple turtles arms.

The orange one was watching the door. "Uh guys we got to make turtle tracks."

"I've got this Karai, thanks for your help." I nodded to her and moved for the window.

"It's no use, it's locked." The red-haired girl shook her head.

Ignoring the girl I reached into my keep and pulled out a small device, attaching it to the window. I pushed several buttons and ran back, turning my back to it.

"TAKE COVER!" The purple masked turtle yelled, grabbing April and sheltering her.

To my surprise the red turtle growled and snatched me into his arms covering me. The glass bounced off of his shell as the window exploded.

As the shards settled, more droids filled the room.

"Are you crazy?" He yelled at me.

"Thanks for the cover!" He couldn't see my smile from the cover of my mask, but his green eyes softened a bit so maybe he heard the sincerity in my voice.

I ran for the now open window and stuck my head out, only three floors to the ground and a fire escape on the very edge of the building, perfect. I grabbed my bow and pulled forth the rope tied arrow I kept ready at all times. Inhale. Aim. Release. _Score._

_What the-_

"The one in that which is called a window is that which is known as a hybrid. That which is known as a hybrid is desired by Kraang. That which is known as a hybrid should be captured alive by Kraang."

I looked from the droid advancing on me, over to the turtles being overrun with more of them. April is swiping a tessen, Karai is striking with her katana. The blue turtle is slicing, the orange one has nunchuks flying, the purple has a bow staff whirling, and the red one is stabbing with his sai.

Four droids capture the red one, two on each arm, as they restrain him he glances in my direction. I take one look in his crystal green gems and groan. _I don't have time for this, but he did help me out earlier._ As the Kraangdroid advances on me I leap over its head, spin around and land a kick into its back sending it flying out the open window.

I grab the androids gun, shooting the Kraang aliens hidden within the chests of the robots. They pop their escape hatches, scrambling across the floor shrieking. Aiming at the two androids holding the red masked terrapin, I fire two clean shots and they release him. With one arm free he's able to fight off the other two droids.

_Now to clear my path out of here._

Firing at the droids just outside of the turtles fight I work my way toward the bedroom door. "Somebody help me with this!" I scream as I shoot each droid filing in.

The red masked turtle bulldozed his way to the door, throwing his body against it. The blue masked terrapin quickly joined him. I shot each android trying to push its way in, at the same time April, Karai and the other two turtles finished off the remaining droids in the room. The blue and red masked turtles grunted trying to push the door shut against the onslaught of androids.

"The bed! Mikey help me shove this bed up against the door!" The purple masked turtle yelled at the orange one and the two moved it towards the door.

"You ready to go out that window?" The blue one said to the red one.

"Let's go, this ain't gonna hold'em!" The red masked turtle released the door as they wedged the bed against it.

The orange clad turtle was the first out the window. The blue one wrapped an arm around Karai, launching a grappling hook and swinging out next. The purple one grabbed April and followed suit. The red masked turtle was behind me.

"Hurry up!" He snapped at me.

I realized my rope was gone. The droid must've broken it when he fell out. "Can't, no hook and that was my only rope. You go."

He huffed, "Come on." He snatched me up and I found myself swinging through the air and landing gracefully in seconds.

"Thanks." I nodded as he released me. I ran back toward the building.

"Where you goin?" He yelled after me.

"She's going back for her friend." Karai answered him. "And I'm going with her."

"Karai wait!" I heard the blue turtle call after her. "Donnie, take April home. Raph, Mikey, come with me!"

"No way!" April yelled.

I ran toward the back of the building, quickly realizing that there were six others with me. Sliding to a stop in the alley I spun around to face them.

"Karai, what are you doing?" I pulled the mask off my head, shoving it in my keep. My red hair fell around my shoulders and down my back, settling at my waist. I pulled the rubber-band I kept around my wrist and swept it back up in a pony-bun.

Karai stopped in front of me her brown eyes flinty. Whatever she was about to say, she'd made up her mind. She popped a hand on her armored hip, "I'm coming with you. I said I'd help you and I keep my word."

"And we're coming with her." The blue masked terrapin crossed his arms and raised one eye ridge. "So, who's your friend Karai?"

Karai's thin red lips quirked up and one arched black eyebrow lifted. "This is Zoe. She's a-"

"Fine, Karai." I glanced over the four turtles, "I'm a hybrid, half animal, half human, and you are?"

"These are The Turtles, they're brothers. The blue one is their leader, Leonardo." Karai gestured to the katana yielding turtle.

"Leo for short," he said curtly.

"The purple masked one is Donatello, he's the brains." She motioned to the bo-staff yielding turtle with his arm around April's waist.

"Donnie." He had warm amber-brownish colored eyes and a sweet smile.

"The orange one is their baby brother, Michelangelo. He's the wild card." She pointed to the nunchuk spinning turtle. He was the shortest of the group but not lacking any of the muscle the others had.

"Call me Mikey, Babe." His smile was contagious and I found myself returning it.

"And that's Raphael, the meathead." Karai didn't look at the red clad turtle she just waved a hand in his direction dismissively.

"Don't hurt yourself Princess." He crossed his arms, glaring at Karai.

"I'm April. I met your friend Exodus. She's amazing. I don't think I could've gotten through this without her. I'm glad to help you get her out." The red-hair and blue-eyed, April, left Donnie's arms to stand in front of me.

"So you're not a mutant?" Donatello tilted his head to the side and looked me over.

"Not a mutant. I was made in a lab. I mean I was born, but- It's a long story-" I looked away from him and back to the building. "I've got to get back inside. She's in the basement, huh?"

"Yes," April whispered.

I crept down an alley between the Kraang-filled building and a neighboring one.

"Why are the Kraang in there anyway? I thought this was a Shredder and Stockman match-up." Donatello looked at April as though she may have the answer.

April's blue eyes narrowed.

"Shhh, we've got company." Leo held out an arm, ushering the group of us back behind a dumpster.

The Kraang marched off in different directions, four of them coming down the alley we were hiding in. I fidget and reach for my twin tessen. I feel a hand on mine and look into Leo's cobalt blue eyes.

He shakes his head and mouths, 'no'.

I realize his other hand is across Raphael's plastron and he was reaching for his sai. We both were glaring at Leo. Raph shoved Leo's arm away from him and Leo rolled his eyes. The Kraang marched off down the street away from us.

"Whew," Mikey sighed, at the same time stepping out from behind the dumpster, only to trip over his own feet and land on his plastron in the alley.

"Really?" Raphael and I said at the same time. Everyone else groaned.

"Oops!" Mikey looked from us to the droids, "Yikes!"

The four androids whipped around, shooting at us. Everyone darted off in different directions then doubled back, attacking the androids from the air. Using the fight for a distraction I slipped off to the back of the building. I had a friend to find.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Raphael**

Her red hair wasn't the same shade as Aprils. April had more of a bright carrot orange-red. Zoe's hair was a dark copper color. Regardless, both girls hair caught the moonlight and in my opinion they stuck out like sore thumbs. No wonder Zoe had worn a full face mask… _Not that her face was hard to look at._ Her eyebrows were thin sweeps of reddish blonde over the deep-set of her eyes, and her long red lashes were bare of any make-up. She was naturally beautiful but not without flaws, her nose was less than perfect and she had a little bit of an overbite. _But overall she was… well… hot. Huh._

We made quick work of the four Kraangdroids and I don't know why Zoe thought she'd gotten away from us or why she'd want to. We'd already helped each other out a handful of times tonight. If she wanted to get her friend out, her odds seemed better with all of us.

"Where'd she go?" Mikey asked looking around.

"She's probably around back already." Donatello answered.

"Look if she doesn't want our help I say we bail." I shrugged.

"I'm going after her," Karai turned to head for the back of the building.

"We shouldn't go back in tonight at all. We should be getting our tails out of here." Leo grabbed Karai by her shoulder and she whirled around, thrusting a palm into his plastron sending him back a few steps.

"Do what you want Leo but Zoe is my friend and I owe her more than one. I'm going in. I'll see you at home." She spun back around and ran after her friend.

"What say you Fearless?" I shifted my weight, eager to do something other than stand around talking.

"I'm not letting Karai go alone." Leo waved us to follow him. We crept along the back of the building passing three windows and a walkout level door. He stopped by an open window. We weren't going to fit through it with our shells but I know that's how the girls got in. Just then the walkout door cracked.

I ducked behind an air conditioning unit, Leo behind a dumpster, Mikey a massive oak tree trunk and Donnie and April were in the actual tree.

"Come on guys, I know you're out there. Hurry up!" Karai called to us then disappeared inside.

We slipped through the door into a small office. The door on the other side of it was wide open. We moved into the hallway. Leo was right behind Karai. _She still refuses to let him lead her._

"Which way?" I looked up and down the corridor. It was the same on both ends. Just a plain hallway with doors lining it same as it was upstairs.

"This way," April said pushing her way past me, Leo and Karai. She made a left but didn't get more than a couple steps ahead before Donnie was back by her side. At the end of the hall she made a right and I noticed her gait change. Her steps grew shorter and she seemed stiff.

"Are you okay April?" Donnie whispered.

"Tttthhere, in there," She pointed to a red double door on the right side of the middle of the hall.

Something tells me April wasn't telling the truth when she said they hadn't done anything to her yet. Donnie must've thought the same thing because he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her to the back of our group.

"Leo," Donnie said exchanging a knowing glance with my older brother.

"Donnie, you and April stay out here and watch the hall. Karai, you, Raph and Mikey come with me," Leo pointed to me and Mikey and then motioned to one side of the door.

"Pssst! What are you doing? You're out in the middle of the hall and getting ready to bust in through the main door?" I hear a sarcastic girly voice above me.

 _She's definitely a kunoichi._ Looking up I see Zoe's head poking down from the ceiling. I can't help but smile, I like her style. I mean I'm fine with busting straight through the door. But the mischief playing in her gray eyes is far more interesting.

"Move over," I say to her.

She grins a little and disappears behind the tiles. I leap up and grab onto the support beams in the ceiling.

"Raph!" I hear Leo hiss at me but he quickly follows suit.

Zoe motions ahead of her and starts making her way onto the beams that will lead us over the room. But as we walk out on them I realize the tiles that covered the ceiling in the hall don't cover the ceiling of the next room. The beams drifted upward, vaulting over the room and were exposed to the floor below. I look down to see the room is a massive lab and there in the middle of it is an unconscious blonde haired girl strapped to a metal table.

Baxter Stockman was mixing something on a table with his back to us. I scanned the room but didn't see Shredder or any Kraang. _Baxter's in the lab alone with the girl._ _Strange. Where's Shredder and his goons?_

Zoe is ahead of me, Leo behind me, Karai and Mikey behind him. We make our way across the beams above the girl but out of Stockman's sight. Zoe reaches for her bow and pulls forth an arrow from her keep. She takes aim at Stockman, breathes in and releases on her exhale. The arrow pierces Stockman in the lower middle of his back, dropping him to floor. He flops around like a fish out of water, then seconds later he stops moving. _Poison?_

She flips off the rafters, landing in a crouched fighting stance below before darting over to the table to free her friend.

I leap down, and my family follows suit.

"Is she okay?" Karai rushes to Zoe's side, helping her free the girl.

"Is he-" Leo asks pointing to Stockman.

"No, it's just a tranq." She doesn't look back as she pulls the blondes arm over her shoulder. She moves to shift her to a fireman's carry.

_She's going to carry her out of here herself?_

"Here lemme' help." Mikey chirps eagerly taking the girl from Zoe.

The redhead fixes her steel gray eyes on Mikey before releasing her friend, "Give me your hand first."

"Don't bother Zoe, you can trust Michelangelo." Karai rests a hand on Zoe's shoulder and the girl releases her friend to Mikey's care.

We all look from Karai to Zoe. _Why'd she want to hold Mikey's hand? It's not like we have time for cuddly stuff._

Karai recognized the looks on our faces, "Zoe's an empath. She senses your intent when she touches you."

_Weird chick. Got it._

"Let's get out of here." Leo says making his way toward the red doors.

"This is too easy. I don't-"

_Why did I open my mouth? Just why?_

The doors fling open, slamming against the walls. Kraang droids stomp in by the dozens.

"I don't have time for this." Zoe grumbles. She reaches for her bow and starts releasing arrows at everything in front of us.

"Well save some for me!" I leap into action stabbing and smashing everything in my way.

Mikey is still holding the girl.

"Mikey, stay behind us!" Leo comes alongside me. Karai and Zoe are closer to the doors now, surrounded by androids.

Zoe's head disappears in the sea of Kraang. Suddenly she screams, "TAKE COVER!"

Spinning around I duck low, shielding my head with my hands. I see Leo do the same and Mikey covers the girl. My ears are ringing from the sound of the explosion. The ground trembles beneath my feet and plumes of smoke roll past me. As the ground stops shaking I look for my brothers who are glancing around too. Leo and I look toward the door and see the droids scattered in destroyed bits around the room and Karai's arm is reaching up from beneath robot bodies.

Leo and I race over to her, but as we get two androids off of her we see Zoe's draped over her as well.

"Leo, help, please!" Karai sounded panicked, which was unusual considering she almost never lost her cool.

Leo lifted Zoe up. Her red hair was strewn across her face and she was limp in my brother's arms. "Raph take Zoe so I can help Karai."

I gathered her up easily. _She's so light, like a bird._

"Karai are you hurt?" Leo helped her to her feet, her knees buckled as Leo loosened his grip so he held onto her.

"No. I'm just shaken up. It's Zoe I'm worried about. She set off the charge but a couple droids got a hold of me and were in her way when she tried to get away from it. She jumped on top of me at the last second. She saved my life Leo." Karai got her bearings and released my brother.

"Let's get out of here. Can you guys manage with the girls?" He looked from me to Mikey and we both nodded.

We stepped over a mess of android crumbs and into the hall.

"Where's Donnie and April?" I asked looking up and down the corridor.

"We're down here! Come on, it's clear!" Donnie stuck his head out of the office we came in through.

We made our way to the nearest manhole. "Uh are we taking these two back to the lair?" I asked Leo.

"What choice do we have? They're unconscious and wanted by The Kraang, Shredder and Stockman. And we can't take hybrids to a hospital." Leo lifted the manhole cover and stepped aside for Karai to go first, Donnie and April dropped in next. Mikey handed the blonde to Leo, who climbed in and reached up for her. I repeated the action with Zoe.

Well this is not how I thought the night would go. We came for one girl and we’re leaving with three.


	4. Chapter 4

**Zoe**

"She's waking up!" I recognized Exodus sing-song voice and raised a hand to my face.

"Shhh, X you're so loud." I rubbed my eyes and opened them to find I was lying on a metal table with a pillow under my head and a soft green blanket over me. I looked around the room to find Karai and Exodus hovering over me.

The purple clad turtle, what was his name? Donatello. He stepped in between the girls and flashed a pen light in my eyes. "Good, no concussion. I think you just got knocked out."

I moved to sit up but the room started to spin.

"Go slow. I'll get you some water." He helped me to sit up and I leaned against the concrete wall behind the table.

I looked at Karai, scanning her over for any injuries, "You okay?"

"Yeah, that was close Zoe." She shook her head and her short blonde undertones briefly mixed with her longer black hair.

"Sorry, I wanted out of there and that was a lot of androids." I looked from Karai to Exodus.

"Are you okay? Did they hurt you? I got there as fast as I could X." I reached out and rest a hand on my blonde friend's slender ivory skinned arm.

Her straight hair rested perfectly at her waist, her doe shaped cerulean colored eyes were glossy with unshed tears. "I'm fine Zoe. Thanks for coming for me."

I looked around the lab type room, "Where are we?"

"You're in our home." Donatello answered returning with my glass of water.

"Thank you." I take the glass and drink the entire thing.

"I'm going to tell the guys you're awake." Exodus bounces out the door before I can call her back.

I roll my eyes and look at Donatello, "How long was I out?"

"Overnight. It's seven in the morning. Are you hungry, we're getting ready to have breakfast?" He reaches out a hand to me, helping me off the table.

"I'll help her Donnie." Karai waves him off and he looks at me.

"It's fine. Thanks." I reassure him and he leaves. I look at her, "You want to tell me something don't you?"

She takes a deep breath and nods, "You're getting ready to meet a giant rat. He's my father. He was mutated but it was so long ago that he can't be cured. I was recently reunited with him. Remember when I was a mutant?"

I nod and she continued.

"Donatello is the one who cured me. Leo reunited me with my father. These guys are my family now. I live here…" She paused seeing I wanted to say something.

"Where's here?" I asked her.

"We're in an abandoned subway hub. They call it the Lair. Its home. Zoe, I've already spoken to my father. If you and X want to stay here, you'll be safe. I know you two have no place to go. You can bunk with me." Karai tucked a stray lock of black hair behind her multi-pierced ear.

"Do you think X and I will fit in here?" Removing my rubber-band, I slipped it back around my wrist then tossed around my messy red waves running my fingers through them.

Karai laughed, "Oh X wants to stay. She fits in just fine, come see."

I followed Karai down a short alcove that opened to a massive combined living, kitchen and dining area. I could see the old turn-styles at the top of a landing and the steps that led to the open area. The ceilings were high and there was a stairwell up the wall behind me leading to a line of bedroom doors, seven of them. I looked over the room I was in, decorated with comic and movie posters, old arcade games, an air hockey table, a foosball table, and an old television. I saw everyone was gathering at the kitchen table and passing food around.

"Hey, Zoe! Come eat with us!" Mikey waved me over and pointed to a spot between him and Raphael.

A massive rat seemed to appear right beside Karai and me.

"Father, this is Zoe. She has been my friend for many years. I owe her my life." Karai bows to the rat as she introduces me.

I bow, "It is nice to meet you-"

"My human name is Hamato Yoshi, but you may call me Splinter." The rat smiles, his very human brown eyes glisten with wisdom.

"I can assure you Sir that Karai has saved my life on many an occasion as well." I smiled at my friend and she rolled her light brown eyes.

"Please, join us for breakfast. We've just finished our morning training. We will begin again shortly after we have eaten. Miwa tells me you and Exodus, are both kunoichi." Splinter gestures toward the kitchen table and we walk in that direction.

"We are. We've studied our whole lives." My eyes fall on my blonde haired friend as she gushes over Michelangelo. He's hanging on her every word his arm draped loosely over the back of her chair. _Well I can see where that's going._

I shake my head.

"How old are you?" Splinter asks as he pulls out a chair at the table.

"Fifteen," I answer as I take the seat between Raph and Mikey. A bowl of scrambled eggs is placed in my hand and I look up at the holder.

Raphael's face is expressionless. As he releases the bowl to my hand our fingers brush. I feel a static like shock upon the touch. In the second it takes me to blink, my eyelids are filled with the image of a thunderstorm crashing over massive ocean waves. W _ow. He's an emotional one, such turmoil._ I feign a small smile as I take the bowl from him and scoop eggs on my plate. "Thanks."

He doesn't say anything he just continues eating.

"How are you feeling Zoe?" Leo asks in between a bite of toast.

"I'm fine. I've had worse." I laugh a little and wave him off.

Exodus and Mikey are giggling at the other end of the table. Donatello is sitting near them pouring over a massive book and taking bites of his food intermittently.

"Miwa has told me that you and Exodus have no home." Splinter sips a cup of green tea.

"Miwa? Oh, Karai. That's true." I take a drink of my orange juice, trying to distract myself from the eyes that have suddenly fallen on me. I feel my cheeks heat up. I hate blushing. _Why? Just why must my cheeks turn bright red?_

"Where are you from Zoe?" Splinter prods.

As I sucked in air, at the same time trying to swallow my juice, I found myself choking and coughing.

"Drink much?" Raphael quips as he leans back and smacks me roughly between the shoulder blades several times.

_Gees, why don't you just knock me out of my chair? That's your pat on the back? I've met monsters with a gentler touch._

I hold up my hand and he stops.

"I'm fine, thanks."

I look at Splinter, feeling all eyes on me again. Then I realize that Mikey and Zoe have stopped talking and my blonde friend is fidgeting on the edge of her seat.

"Exodus and I were made in a lab. We are human-animal hybrids. Our DNA is altered. It's not the same as a mutation, not exactly. We were actually born what we are. The reason X and I have no place to stay is because we escaped. We _just_ escaped, the lab, a week ago actually. We were staying in alleyways or homeless shelters. It's hard to get a job when you don't have any I.D., you don't know how to do anything but fight and you've never been anywhere outside of a lab. It was easy for them to find us and they caught X."

"Wait, are you saying Stockman and Shredder made you?" Leo's eyes were wide. His spoon hung awkwardly in the air dripping milk from his cereal onto the table. His eyes followed my gaze to the spoon and he stuck it back in his bowl.

"We weren't made in the lab that I just busted her out of. But yes. That's how I know Karai. Mutants aren't Shredders first attempt at super-soldiers. Human hybrids came first. Mutants are just faster and easier to make." I looked away from his intense blue eyes and took a bite of my toast.

"You mean _we_." Raphael said suddenly.

" _We_ , what?" I asked, drawing my eyebrows together as I looked at him.

" _We_ busted her out, not just you." He stared at me.

I scoffed, "Yeah, I guess it was ' _we_ '. Did I offend you?"

"I just like credit where credit is due." He shrugged and crossed his arms, leaning back in his seat his eyes fixed on me.

_I'll bet you do._

"Okay." I didn't like how he was looking at me. There was deep thought going on under that macho crap and I wasn't in the mood to pick away at the top layer. I had a feeling there were many more beneath it.

I could feel everyone's eyes on us and that made me feel even worse. _My face must be a nice shade of cherry red right now._ One set of eyes however, bore the wisdom of age and experience and I felt compelled right then to look into them. The rat was studying me, but not just me. He was watching his red clad son next to me too.

_Great. If I can't get along with Raphael, will he still let X and I stay here?_

"You are welcome to stay here as long as you like." He said.

_Is he a mind reader?_

"Thank you Sir." I said graciously, looking into his warm brown eyes to convey my sincerity.

"Alright! Welcome to the family!" Mikey yelled, leaping from his chair and knocking over a pitcher of orange juice before flinging his arms around Exodus.

Donatello's book was saturated in the slosh of orange liquid. He lifted it up and the sticky juice rushed off it in sheets. His amber eyes flamed as he dropped the book and lunged for his brother, "MIKEY!"

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Raphael**

There were a lot of questions still to answer but Zoe wasn't talking. Leo was constantly asking her all kinds of stuff. Why's the Kraang working with Stockman and Shredder? What did they do to Exodus and April (April wasn't shining any light on that one either)? Where's the lab you broke out of?

It's no wonder she didn't want to talk to him. None of his questions were about her as much as they were for information. I wouldn't have told him squat either. He may be the leader but he didn't know a thing about talking to girls.

Not that I do either, but I'm sure I'd do better.

But that's not to say she wasn't getting on my nerves. Master Splinter felt that we were now a team of eight, us four guys and April, Karai, Exodus and Zoe. Even worse, he paired everyone up, Leo with Karai, April with Donnie, Exodus with Mikey and I got stuck with Zoe. Sensei said we needed to learn to work together. I think he just wanted us to protect them when we went on missions.

Great, because I need to worry about her slowing me down in a fight.

Leo didn't mind, he had a thing for Karai anyway and Donnie was over the moon, the lovesick fool.

We sit on opposite sides of the dojo, boys on one side in a row, kneeling as we always do, only across the room mirroring us are the girls. Sensei taps the ground with his staff, "Michelangelo and Exodus you are first today."

I watch my baby brother saunter to the middle of the room, offering his partner his best 'I'm ready to play' smile.

I roll my eyes. Stupid.

Exodus rises to her tiny feet and meanders her way opposite him. Her straight blonde hair is tied in a loose ponytail, her blue eyes are dancing and her pouty bubblegum pink lips curve into a playful smirk.

She's no better.

"Yao Mei!" Splinter commands.

Exodus steps into a fighting stance and Mikey circles her casually. X turns her head, watching him in her peripheral. Mikey won't make the first move, he never does, and while he goofs off she's planning her attack.

"Ugh." I groan, "This is going to take forever."

Mikey laughs, "Come on X, let's do this," He bounces up and down on the balls of his feet now, shifting back and forth as if ready to take her on.

Exodus' pink tongue appears thoughtfully out of the corner of her mouth and I realize she's imitating my brother, whose own big tongue is lolling as he darts around her. She slides her tongue slowly across her lips, tilts her head and bats her butterfly wing eyelashes at him and he begins to gravitate toward her face.

He's going to fall for that?!

Mikey is lured in so close he almost touches her mouth with his own. In the next second Exodus spins around, flinging her arm across the back of his head at the same time swiping his feet out from under him in the opposite direction. Mikey is thrown off balance and lands on his plastron at her feet.

"Agh, that was horrible!" I shake my head in distaste.

"Raphael you and Zoe are next." Splinter nods and stands next to Leo, watching.

"I'm not falling for any stupid kunoichi tricks. I can't believe you went out like that Mikey!" I stand opposite Zoe and take a fighting stance.

She won't have time to trick me. I'm going to come right at her, before she can think of anything to distract me.

Zoe moves like a dancer. Rising to her feet, she unfolds from her pose on the floor in a single fluid movement. She stretches her arms over her head and points her toes before mashing them into the floor and rolling her ankle over them.

"Quit messin' around, let's go already!" I snap at her and she fixes her gaze on me.

Right now her eyes look like polished gunmetal, gray, but with brilliant flecks of blue in them. They are a weapon in their own right. To look in those stormy colored depths risks her luring you in. I swallow. Then you find yourself searching those blue, star like flecks for the answers to every question you ever had… about anything. I lick my lips as the moisture in my mouth evaporates.

I shake my head to clear the fog that has filled it with a single look from the tiny girl across from me. She hasn't moved. Not one bit. She's simply looking at me and it is unnerving.

"Well come on!" I yell at her again, but my voice sounds strained. Stepping towards her I throw a fist in the air, "Come on already!"

She doesn't move. Her copper colored hair is tied back in a knot type thing and it would almost look brown, except the light in the dojo amplifies the red with even the tiniest movements, such as her breathing. It's distracting, every glint and glimmer of the beautiful sheen and the blue flecks in her eyes…

Agh, she's doing it to me now! Uh-uh no way!

I clench my teeth. She's just standing there. Let's fight already. She seems closer. She's standing in the same pose, she just seems closer.

My skin tingles with an electric feeling, she's definitely closer. Enough of this crap! I lead with my shoulder and charge her. Exodus and Karai peel away from either side of her as I barrel forward. Zoe steps back from my attack, reaches out with one hand and jabs me in a pressure point. Instantly I feel my entire body seize up and fall forward. My arms won't even work to shield myself from my fall.

"Pfft, ha, ha, ha, ha," I hear the entire room erupt with laughter.

I lie there twitching and see Zoe's bare feet in my peripheral. I can't even lift my head or turn it. Nothing is working.

Well this sucks.

Suddenly I find myself being rolled over and Mikey, Donnie and Leo are staring down at me grinning and clutching their stomachs they're laughing so hard.

"You fell for that!" Mikey mocks me, laughing so hard his eyes are squint shut.

"I can't believe you went out like that Raph!" Leo imitates me, smacking me on my shoulder as he clutches his stomach with his other hand.

"You aren't falling for any kunoichi tricks are ya Raph?" Donnie grins showcasing the gap in his teeth.

"Back off guys, go on." Zoe waves them back from me then reaches down and rubs her hand over the back of my neck and taps it a few times. Slowly the feeling starts to return to my body.

She looks in my eyes and I'm trapped again. The corners of her full pale pink lips are turned down and her eyebrows are drawn together, her eyes are a flat slate gray no longer holding the twinkle from earlier.

The feeling returns first in my neck beneath the warmth of her gently massaging fingertips. I don't want to enjoy the strange, gentleness she's touching me with. I'm furious. How dare her get in my head like that! How did I let her get to me that way? I summon a snarl and swipe away her hand, rolling to my feet and storming out of the dojo.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Zoe**

I watch the olive color of Raphael's shell retreat from the dojo and drop my gaze to my feet. _Why did Master Splinter pair us up?_ If he wins, he gloats. It's awful. I just want to smack the grin off his face. But if I win, he pouts like a sore loser. And his brothers aren't helping.

Splinters gentle paw comes to rest on my shoulder, "What is it Zoe?"

I look up at the rat towering over my five foot two frame. "Why did you pair us together Sensei?"

Splinter looks over the other teens in the room, "We will break for lunch."

Leo and his brothers all smile at me as they file out of the dojo. Karai is grinning too, she loves seeing Raphael take a fall. Exodus and April offer me a sympathetic smile.

"Zoe," Splinter gestures for me to sit across from him.

I kneel allowing my shoulders to slump forward as I release a heavy sigh. _Why did I question him? Surely he knows best._

"Zoe, what do you expect from your partnership with Raphael?"

I hadn't thought about that. I prefer to work alone but am used to working with Exodus or Karai if the occasion called for it. I didn't even understand why Splinter thought we should be paired as male and female anyway. I mean I guess it kind of made sense. We girls had unique skills at our disposal and they could compliment the strength of our male counterparts.

_But why me and Raphael?_

I guess, I would've paired Leo and Karai too. Karai is rebellious and sassy, yet she has a soft heart. Leo is so cool and controlled, well he tries to be. Karai challenges him…

"Zoe, you have not answered my question. I sense your thoughts have strayed."

"Not really Master. I was thinking about our pairings. I understand Mikey and Exodus. They complement one another with their easy going, optimistic personalities. I can see how they will bond quickly and work well together, helping each other. I mean they both goof off and get into scrapes, but Exodus less so. She will balance Mikey, grounding him if he drifts to close to the edge. Likewise he may become more attentive in an effort to keep her safe because he cares so deeply. I understand Leo and Karai too. She will challenge every ounce of Leo's ability to stay cool and calm, and that will only result in his growth. And he sees the goodness in her, the light in her heart and he will only nurture that, encourage it. But with April and Donatello, I'm not sure I understand their match up any better than mine and Raphael's. I mean I can see either one of them working well interchangeably with anyone on the team."

"I see. So you think that April would work better with Raphael?"

I couldn't help it, before I'd even really thought about it the idea struck me as hilarious. I rolled back, clutching my stomach. I was behaving no better than the brothers laughing at Raph earlier. I gasped, trying to stop but it just kept coming. Images of Raphael and April in a fight together, the two of them in a precarious situation with only one another to get through it…

_What was I laughing at? Of course they'd get through it. With April's quick thinking and Raph's brute strength, of course they would manage. But April couldn't stop Raph if he made a rash decision. And what, I can? Raph wouldn't have the patience for April's still developing skills though. Donnie on the other hand cared for her on a personal, romantic level and would not feel held back by her._

"What is so humorous Zoe?" Splinter interrupted my thoughts, even as the giggles subsided of their own accord, my reasoning dissolving the hilarity of it and making way for a newfound clarity.

"You put us together because we challenge each other. April doesn't get under his skin the way I do. She can't peel away the layers, can she Master?"

"You have layers of your own Zoe. Raphael is not the only one who, as you put it, needs peeling. It is true, the goal of each partnership is growth but ultimately what comes of each pairing depends on how much you each put into it. Perhaps you and Raphael should spend more time together outside of the dojo."

"Oh no, I don't think that's-"

Shadows drape across Splinters russet colored fur, then his tail cracked across the floor and I knew I was in trouble.

_I interrupted him. I questioned him. Why? Why did I do that?_

"Enough! I have come to a decision. Go find Raphael and bring him here."

 _Why did I open my mouth? Why?_ Who knows what Splinter just got in his head, and no I most definitely did not need to spend more time with Raphael.

"Yes Sensei." I rose to my feet and shuffled toward the door to the dojo.

"Quickly Zoe, my stories will be on soon." The tone of his voice was enough to move me and I most certainly did not want to cause him to miss part of his stories. I was in enough trouble already.

I picked up my pace, making my way to the main area in the lair. Interestingly enough the teammates had all paired off already anyway. Mikey and X were playing a video game together, Leo and Karai were play sword fighting and smack talking each other. Donnie and April were sitting on the steps of the pit side by side on their laptops. If I hadn't opened my mouth I would've been reading a book or maybe doing some conditioning. _Hmm, Raph and I usually did conditioning together in some of our spare time. Would we have been hanging out right now too?_

"Where's Raph?" I stood just inside the main area, close enough that my random interruption and the tone of my voice drew their attention to me.

"Why would you be looking to poke the Dragon?" Mikey asked peeking around Exodus's head.

I rolled my eyes, "Master Splinter wants to see him… and me."

"I think he's in his room." Leo gave me a curious look.

"Thanks." I felt all eyes on my back as I climb the stairs and made my way to Raph's door.

My hand was shaking as I reached out to knock.

"What do you want?" He snapped.

_You don't even know who's out here! It could be Casey and you actually like him. You freaking grumpy bear._

I cleared my throat before answering him. "Sensei wants to see us."

Raphael's door swung open and he glared at me, "Why?"

I bit my lip.

He raised an eye-ridge, his green eyes narrowing, "What'd you do?"

I looked away, now chewing on my lip. _How does he know I did anything?_

"Zoe-" he shook his head and growled.

"He wants to see us." I said turning and walking back down the stairs, feeling him follow behind me.

We entered the dojo and knelt before Splinter.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Raphael**

_What'd she do?_ I know she did something. She always bit her lip when she was nervous and it was not like her to not maintain eye contact.

"I have decided that the two of you should spend more time together. Do chores together. Each responsibility on your lists should be fulfilled together. Your free time will be spent together. You will also continue to train together." His whiskers flickered thoughtfully, "That will be all for now. Do not let me find you apart from one another without good reason." With that he stood up and left us sitting in the dojo.

"What? Why? What'd I do?" I yelled after my father who just disappeared through the doorway. I whirled on her, "What'd you do?"

She bit her lip and seemed to stare into space as she got to her feet.

"Well?!" I yelled waving a hand back and forth in her face. _Couldn't she see me?_ "I have plans with Casey tonight! Now I've got to drag you along?" I set my jaw, baring my teeth at her, my hands balled into fists at my sides.

"Stop it Raph. I'm not happy about this either. I had plans with the girls to go to a movie. And no, I don't plan on tagging along with you and Casey."

She pulled her rubber-band out of her hair and ran her hands through it as it spilled down her back in shining red waves. Then taking a deep breath she straightened herself out and looked at me, "I'm sorry. I asked him why he paired us up and for some reason he decided that training together wasn't enough and we needed to be further trapped in this… this… forced partnership."

_What?_ We've been sparring together for the past month and it didn't bother me except for when she pulled those stupid girl tricks on me. Heck when we sparred against other teams, especially X and Mikey and Donnie and April, we'd always win. And it's no secret, I like winning. Besides we spent a good bit of time together already, our seats were next to each other at the table so whenever we both showed up, we ate together. _Seems like plenty of time to me. And if she doesn't want to be my partner, it's fine by me. It's not like I need one anyway. I sure as shell don't need her._

"Argh!" I huff and throw my hands up, turning my shell to her.

"So it's not like Splinter is going to be with us while we're out tonight. He'll never know if we're not together. We'll just have to make sure we return together, just in case he sees us come in."

She sounds as frustrated as I feel but she's trying to hold it in. Usually she does whatever my father says, and who can blame her, she has no place else to go. It must suck to sleep in an alley or shelter. I mean I live in a sewer but it's a lot less accessible to my enemies. And she does have a lot of enemies… _Huh, we have the same enemies._ _And her idea doesn't sound bad._

I turned around to look at her. She was tugging thoughtfully on a lock of hair, her gray eyes flat, while she awaited my response.

"Okay, I was leaving here after dinner. What time were you and the girls goin out?"

"I don't know probably about the same time. We're going to have to tell the others. Otherwise this is going to get really weird quick."

"Yeah, come on." I step around her and head for the main room.

"Uh, Raph, us being stuck together does not mean you'll be telling me what to do."

I stop and look back at her. Her arms are crossed and she tilts her head to the side, her lips pushed into a pout. She raises an eyebrow and glares at me.

_She's actually kinda cute when she's mad._

_Oh no._

_I'm not going to be Donnie. Forget that._

"And what, I'm supposed to take orders from you?" I cross my arms, raise an eye ridge, and stare back at her.

She rolls her eyes, "No, we'll have to work something out. And I'm not going to spend every waking moment fighting with you. So get the chip off your shoulder."

"After you Princess," I open my hand gesturing for her to go.

Her jaw shifts and I think she's clenching her teeth, "Don't call me that. That's your pet name for Karai and she can keep it." She steps up to me and leans in toward my face. "I'm no princess."

"It's not a pet name, it's a nickname. There's a difference." _What's she trying to say?_ I meet her stare head on. _I ain't backing down._

"You keep telling yourself that." She said as she looked me up and down, then stepped around me and walked out.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Zoe**

_He doesn't bother me. He doesn't._

_I wonder how long Splinter will punish us._

I step into the main area with Raph behind me. We stand just outside the TV pit and look into the faces of our teammates.

_Why are they all sitting in a row on the steps?_

"We, uh-" Raph rubs the back of his head and looks in my direction.

"What did you two do?" Leo scratches his head before continuing, "Sensei just came in here and told us that you two have to spend all of your time together and if we help you deceive him in any way we will join you."

"What?" Raph and I say in unison.

"What?" We try again.

"Shut up Zoe, I'm talkin'." He shoves a hand toward my face.

"Excuse me, _Raphael._ Maybe _I_ should be the one to talk first." I shove my hand back in his face.

"Uh, you guys," Mikey interrupts us.

"WHAT?" We both yell at him.

Mikey is looking back and forth at us, "We can't hang out with you right now."

I look past Mikey and realize that everyone is gone. They must've left while we were fighting. My shoulders slump and I sigh.

"Sorry." Mikey put a sympathetic hand on my shoulder and gave Raph an apologetic smile before running up the stairs and hopping over the turn-styles.

"Great." Raph and I say at the same time, then glare at each other, cross our arms and sit on the steps looking in opposite directions.

We sit in silence for all of two minutes before he speaks.

"I don't want to sit here all night. So, do you want to hang out with me and Casey?"

"Raph if you want to hang out with Casey, I'm not going to rat you out and I'm not going to tag along. I'll leave with you and just take a walk or something. We can meet back here at curfew and Sensei will never know." I turn towards him and realize he was already turned toward me.

_This whole thing is because I opened my mouth. I don't want to ruin his night because of it._

He looks like he's mulling something over and I Don't know why, I'm giving him what he wants. "Are you sure you'll be okay?"

I scoff. _As if you care._

His eyes harden, "What?"

"Nothing, Raphael. Let's go. I'll meet you back at the entrance to the lair at curfew and we'll walk in together."

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Raphael**

She's true to her word and meets me outside the lair at curfew. We walk in together and no one says anything.

"Raphael, you and Zoe need to finish your duties before you go to bed." Sensei looks from me to the kitchen. From where I'm standing I see the dishes overflowing in the sink. _Oh, man._

Zoe looks like she'd like to pound me.

_Good luck with that Sweetheart._

"You have to do the dishes? I hate doing dishes." She wrinkles her nose and frowns.

I roll my eyes and head for the kitchen.

As she stands next to me at the sink, I notice her face is an odd shade of… yellowish green? _Ha, she's turning green. That's funny._ Her mouth is fixed in a grimace and she looks like she might be sick.

Reaching into the sink, I fish out a washcloth and move to hand it to her.

She jumps back and shakes her head, "That's gross. I'm not touching that. It's dirty."

I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe, "You live in a sewer and your freaked out by a dirty dishrag?" I'm clutching my stomach. _This is hilarious._ "Ah, your- that's great." Another roll of laughter erupts from within me. I can't help myself. _That's, ha, that's funny._

Finally I'm able to wipe my eyes and look at her. She's standing there arms crossed, eyebrow raised, mouth set in a thin line.

"I'll dry. _You_ let them pile up so _you_ wash." She opens a drawer and pulls out a dry towel then reaches over the faucet and grabs the dish soap and throws it at me.

I catch it, put the plug in the bottom of the sink and fill it up. The bubbles cover all the dishes and some of the water slops over the edge of the counter onto the floor as I scrub.

"You're making a mess. Aren't you going to clean it up?" She frowns and points her towel covered hand to the floor.

"Nah, it'll dry." I keep washing. I try to pass a plate in her direction but she doesn't take it, so I look over at her.

 _Really? Arms crossed, pouty face, again? Ugh._ "What?"

"Dry the floor Raphael." She reaches into the drawer and throws a towel at me.

"No, and stop throwing stuff at me." I flick soapy water at her. It lands across her face leaving a trail of bubbles running from her forehead, down her nose and cheek, her very, very red cheek.

I snicker.

"Grrr."

 _Is she growling at me? Ha. Whatever._ I turn back to the dishes and keep washing.

Suddenly I feel a frigid liquid rush over my head, and a lot of it. I shriek and drop my dish rag. "What the-" As I spin around to face my assailant I lose my footing. My feet keep slipping and I'm flailing to grab onto something. Zoe is standing closest to me, holding a water pitcher. I reach out and grab onto her arm and she jerks forward, losing her footing too. The pitcher flies up in the air as I fall backward slamming my shell on the floor, it bounces off my head, and Zoe lands awkwardly on top of me.

I wait a minute before I move, trying to figure out what just happened. She lifts her head, raising a hand to shove her hair out of her face.

_Is she cryin? No, she's laughing! She's laughing so hard, she's crying!_

"Get off me!" I shove my hands onto her shoulders, pushing her away. But as she tries to move we become further entangled. Her legs slide back and forth then out and back as she tries to stand. I'm trying to pull my feet in and under me but they keep slipping, and my foot just got hung up on her leg and, "Oh, no, no!"

Her arms are flapping around trying to find something to grab onto, I move my foot to get it away from her but she's moved in the opposite direction. My movement sends her flying face first at me. I throw my hands up, catching her before she can crash into me. Rolling to my side I lower her to the floor beside me. _What just happened?_

She's still laughing, almost like a little girl with the giggles. I've never seen her laugh this hard. Her hair is soaked and clinging awkwardly to her fair skinned face. There's a dusting of freckles under her eyes and across the bridge of her nose. _They're cute. I've never noticed them before._ The corners of her mouth are turned up in a smile so wide it may very well reach her ears. Her thick cinnamon colored eyelashes are coated with tears and her gray eyes are glistening beneath them. Strange warmth sparks in the middle of my plastron. Then my fingers move, of their own accord, towards her face. The closer my fingertips get the more I can feel this odd energy pulsing within them. I move her hair away from her cheek, realize what I'm doing and yank my hand back.

"What're you doing?" I yell at her.

"What do you mean, what am _I_ doing?" She stops laughing and rolls onto her hands and knees, sliding in the mess we've made.

"What is the meaning of this?" My father's voice snaps us both to attention.

"Uh- Zoe dropped the water pitcher, she slipped and I tried to catch her but we both fell." I answer quickly.

_We don't need to be in more trouble._

Zoe kept her eyes fixed on our Master's face.

I watch my Sensei's eyes dart back and forth between us as he strokes the long strip of fur beneath his chin. His other hand balances on his walking stick with his tail curled around his feet, twitching at its tip.

_Ah, we are so in for it._

"Clean this up." He says, tapping his walking stick on the floor once before leaving.

"Whew, that was close." I slap a hand to my face, not realizing its covered in bubbles until they drip down my cheek.

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Zoe**

 

            “Today we will practice our skills with alternate weapons.” Splinter stands in the middle of the dojo. We sit on opposite ends of our partners as he gives instructions. “You should select the weapon you need to improve most on.”

_Oh no._

            Exodus leans forward so she can see past Karai and April and snickers at me.

            _Oh no. No. No._

            “Exodus, is there something important you need to share?” Splinter’s tale curls around his feet and twitches at the end. A sure fire way to tell she’s teetering on the precipice of punishment.

            Exodus snaps to attention and bites her full pink lip. “No Sensei.”

            “Very well, select your weapons and you may practice with your partners.” He steps off the training floor and supervises our actions.

            There’s an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach and I’m seriously contemplating faking an illness and bolting. Raphael has a strange expression on his face as he makes his way over to me.

            “Uh- Zoe, what’re you doin?” He’s standing over me, the corners of his mouth turned down as if he’s mimicking my own expression but not making fun of me.

            _Yet. You’re not making fun of me yet._

            “Zoe?”

            I realize I haven’t moved from the floor. Everyone around me is selecting a weapon and establishing their workspace. My eyes dart beyond Raphael to Exodus whose grabbed a bow and arrow and is talking to Mikey but looking at me. She’s staring at me enough that Mikey glances in my direction and raises an eye ridge.

            _Think Zoe. Think. I know. Grab a different weapon and just fake it._

            “Zoe! Seriously get off the floor. We haven’t picked a spot yet so now we get leftovers. You know that means we’re front row for Sensei. So thanks a lot.” He crosses his arms and glares at me.

            “Right. Did you pick a weapon?” I get to my feet and shuffle my way to the weapons table. I deliberately avoid a certain end of the table and reach for the shuriken.

            “As if you need to even practice throwing stars. Pick something else Zoe, at least make it some kind of challenge for yourself.” Raph shakes his head and picks up Mikey’s chucks. “I’ll get the hang of these before you know it.”

            _What will he believe?_

            I’m reaching a shaky hand for Donnie’s bo-staff and Raph snorts, “Try again partner. I’ve seen you with a bo too. What’s going on with you?”

            “Shut up Raphael.” _Please don’t draw attention to us._ I rub my hands over my face and sigh.

            “Zoe, do you need direction in selecting a weapon?”

            _Yikes._

            Exodus busts out laughing and everyone stops to look at her. “Nooo, Zoe knows exactly what weapon she needs to work on.” She bites her lip but another giggle escapes her, “only it won’t be safe for any of us to be in here while she practices.”

            Raphael has a funny smirk on his face, “Is that so? What is Z, come on, do tell.”

            I feel heat rush across my cheeks like flames over a burning field. _This is awful._ I cover my face then fan myself with my hand. _Is it hot in here?_

            “That will be enough Exodus.” Splinter taps the floor with his walking stick and everyone redirects their attention from me to their business. He comes to stand across the table from me and Raphael. “Zoe, what is this about?”

            I wince and exhale a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. My eyes settle on the knives at the end of the table and both Splinter and Raphael’s eyes follow my gaze.

            “How bad can you be?” Raphael blurts out in his nonchalant yet amused tone.

            “Bad. Very, _very_ bad.” I frown.

            “I understand. Zoe you and Raphael are excused from training at this time. Go tend to your chores. When we end this session you two may have the dojo for the afternoon.”

            “Yes Sensei.” I don’t wait for Raphael, or look at him for a reaction. My head is hanging and my heart is heavy as I leave the dojo. I hate being terrible at anything. If I’m going to do something I want to do well at it.

            The kitchen looks like a good place to hide for a minute, maybe drowning my sorrows in a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Speculoos ice-cream. I grab a spoon and my frozen sugar bomb, pull out a chair and plop down.

            Raphael appears in my peripheral and I don’t want to look at him. I jab my spoon into the cream and shove a heap into my mouth. I’m not even paying attention to the flavor, just numbing my brain with the chill. At the same time I’m bracing for his sarcastic banter, but curiously enough it never comes. He pulls out the chair next to me, sits down and stretches one leg out straight as he leans back in it.

            I scoop another blob onto my spoon and offer it to him.

            He snorts and crosses his arms. “What, like you’d eat after me?”

            I roll my eyes, look at him, and move the spoon towards his mouth, “Open up.”

            “No.” He shakes his head but he’s looking at the spoon.

            “Come on Raph, could you just not fight me on every little thing? It’s ice-cream. Take a bite. If you like it, great. If not, that’s great too. You know, more for me.” I run the spoon against his lip and he scowls for a second before opening his mouth.

            He licks the extra cream from his lips and seems to be thinking over the taste. “That’s, pretty good.”

            “Yeah, it helps. You wouldn’t know since you don’t suck at anything, but it kinda takes the edge off.” I scoot my chair back, grab another spoon out of the drawer and hand it to him, setting the pint between us.

            “Well I suck at getting along with Leo. Does that count?”

            We both laugh.

            “That deserves a giant scoop!” I point to the ice-cream. He nods and takes another bite.

            “So how bad are ya? Like I’m going to lose a finger or eye kinda bad?” He’s trying not to but the corners of his mouth are quirking up into a smirk.

            I groan, “I need more ice-cream kinda bad. I guess you’re gonna find out.”

            He doesn’t say anything as he shoves another heap of the creamy dessert in his mouth.

            “Ugh, I need water to wash down all this sugar.” I grab two waters from the fridge and hand him one. “So what chore should we do while we wait for the dojo?”

            He points behind me.

            I look over at the sink and whine. “This is not my day.”

            “So why do you hate doin’ dishes so much?” he asked, scraping the container clean.

            As he finishes off my pint I don’t admonish him for it. He actually seemed to really enjoy it and that was motivation enough for me to let it go. _He seems… relaxed._ I watch as he licks his spoon and frowns at the empty container. _His eyes are so clear green and they don’t usually look that soft. They’re kinda beautiful._

I shake my head and look away from him.

            “It’s the food bits on the plates and floating around the bottom. Ugh, gross I can feel the lump in the back of my throat right now. Gag me. Yuck.” I feel a knot at the back of my throat just thinking about it and step a little further away from the sink. I grimace and look at him.

            His eyes are shining and there’s a grin on his face. “You’re a funny one Zoe. Come on, I’ll wash, since you shared your ice-cream and all.” He rolls his eyes and elbows me to the side as he makes his way to the sink.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Raphael**

 

            _Woosh, clink!_

            The knife bounces off the wall, nowhere near the target.

            _Wow, that’s really bad._ I try not to laugh, but there’s an undeniable smile on my face.

            _Woosh, ding!_

            “Hey! Watch the shell!”

_What the- how is this amazing kunoichi so terrible at throwing knives? I’m going to lose my shell and I’m standing right beside her! I don’t even know how she just did that._

            “Sorry,” she slumps her shoulders and shakes her head, “it slipped.”

            “You said that last time! You’ve got to at least look at the target Z. Are your eyes even open?” I pick the knife up off the floor, flip it in my hand and pass it to her handle first. “Look your wrist is really flimsy, you got to stiffen it.” I reach out toward her hand then hesitate.

 _Should I touch her?_ I’ve usually just pointed at stuff and used body language and gestures to help her.

            “What’s wrong Raph?” She’s holding the knife in her hand, staring at it like it’s The Shredder himself.

            “The pointy end goes into the enemy, not your partners shell. So, let’s uh-” I gesture to her hand and she shrugs.

_I’ll take that for an okay._

            I reach down and wrap my thick, clunky big green digits around her tiny frail wrist. She doesn’t seem to mind.

           “Stiffen here. Otherwise you’re going to get an uncontrolled rotation. Only hold it like this with heavier knives, like this one.” I stroke her wrist, “Stiff Zoe, your flimsy. Stiff.” I reach around her and bring my other hand forward to correct the position of her arm.

            She nods and takes a deep breath, setting her focus. Then, with the slightest movement of her head, I find my nostrils filled with a light sweet scent. _Honeysuckle._ The fragrance is on her skin and in her hair and it seems to slide in through my beak and down my throat and somehow reaches all the nerves in my body. My blood is electrified.

            “Raph are you okay?”

            I realize I’m still holding her wrist and it’s time for her to make her throw.

            “Yeah. Okay, now try it again.” I release her and step back.

            As she lifts her arm the knife flies backward out of her hand, ricochets off the wall, and yet again I’m taking a hit to the shell.

            “ZOE!” I yell at her.

            That one stung a bit. I look back but I can’t see where it hit.

            “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! Here let me look!” She’s trying to get around behind me but I’m holding my hands up and turning with her.

            “Just forget it!” I try waving her off.

            Her hands come down on my shoulders and she tries to shake me, which is funny because unless I let her, she could never move me.

_But the warmth of her touch is nice._

           “I did it, let me at least look!” She insists, fixing her determined gray eyes on me.

            I shake my head and relent. Then she moves behind me and runs her fingers over my carapace. _Whoa! Whoa. Hmmm. That feels, good. Uh, a little too good._ “Zoe, I’m fine. I’m fine, come on let’s try again.”

            “I don’t see anything. Either it didn’t hit you that hard or you’re just that tough.” She grins at me, “And we both know which one it is.”

            I smile, stick my plastron out, and stand up a little straighter. _Yeah, I know I’m tough._

            Her auburn eyebrows rise, her gray eyes glistening with mischief, “I didn’t hit you _that_ hard, I mean I throw like a girl, right?”

            _What?_ I feel the color drain from my face. _I don’t need this crap._

            “ _Yeah_ you do. Now are you goin’ to hit a target or you just gonna flirt with me all day?” I wave a hand at her and look towards the door to the dojo.

_Just when I think she’s saying somethin’ nice she spins it around.   This is why I’d rather work alone._

            She steps into my line of sight, and she is glowering. Her face is so red I think her head might pop off. “I am _not_ flirting with you. You are such a jerk sometimes. I don’t get it. We’ll be getting along just fine and then you go and mess it up. You might actually be a good friend Raphael if you’d quit getting in your own way.”

            “Yeah well you were the one taking a jab at me first, right?” I watch her process the truth in that and I realize she’s still blushing.   She looks away and her eyes narrow.

            To my surprise she suddenly steps closer, her mouth hovering right by my lips, the heat radiating from them makes mine burn. I think I stopped breathing.   For a second it seems like she might be going to kiss me, but she turns her face slightly before whispering to the side of my head, “I was playing with you. But you’re right, if that’s how you’re going to take it I guess I did take the first jab, I’m sorry. And for the record you are _very_ tough. I don’t want to crack your shell Raphael, so maybe you could find it in yourself to trust me on your own. And I’m not gonna hurt you again, I promise.”

            She shakes her head, grabs a knife off the floor and flings it toward the target behind me. I hear a thud, instead of a clink and we both look.

            _Bulls-eye._

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Zoe**

 

 I lie on the bottom bunk in Karai’s room trying to ignore Exodus’s snoring. Rolling to my side I glance at Karai who’s sleeping on her stomach with her arm hanging off the side of her bed. She’s a deep sleeper and the snoring doesn’t faze her. Now if there was danger, she could sense it from within the deepest REM cycle and spring from the bed ready to fight anything. I smile. Crazy girls.

Exodus snorts and I reach for my iPod. It’s a banged up old version that Donnie found in a junkyard and fixed for me, but I like it. The pale pink ear-buds are new though. I picked them up on a shopping trip with the girls.

X says something in her sleep, snorts and resumes snoring. It’s either kick the bunk above me and wake up my annoying friend or listen to some music and hope I drift off. I opt for music and decide to create a new playlist.

As I scroll through my songs I can’t seem to get that hurt look on Raphael’s face out of my mind. Every time my eyes close I see his grin fall, replaced with that struck expression. It’s cemented in my eyelids and my heart aches. Not because I’m sorry for him. He wouldn’t want pity anymore than I would. But that face, it was a moment of clarity for me. I hurt him. My little slight, hurt him. That gave me pause to reflect and finally understand.

Raphael is actually very sensitive. He’s also bitter, because he expects to be rejected. A pessimist, he’s always bracing himself for the worst from everyone. And while I felt comfortable enough to tease him, I didn’t realize that when it comes to him, I shouldn’t. I can’t ever do it again and I won’t, not without complete certainty that he trusts me. Right now, teasing him only confirmed what he already believed, which is that no one understands him. Only now, I’m sure that I do. Beneath that shell of his, there’s a soft heart and I suspect that if the barriers come down, there’s a lot of love to give.  

I tap New Playlist.

What will I name this playlist?

I know, Team.

And what shall I put on it? Hmmm.  

What describes us? And how am I going to earn his trust? And why is it suddenly so important to me?

Oh I know, Katy Perry, Dark Horse. Hmm, which one of us is the dark horse? I giggle.

Oh, Demons, Imagine Dragons.

And more, Katy Perry, E.T.. Ugh, we’re both pretty much extraterrestrial. I giggle again.

Oh I know one we’d both want, Oh, two that we’d both want, Hall of Fame by The Script and Superhero by Simon Curtis.

And I need One Day, by Charice. This is fun!

Okay, now add Remember the Name by Fort Minor.

Yeah and Radioactive by Imagine Dragons seems appropriate. Both of us have either faced, will face, or are facing an apocalypse. Our lives might be even be considered apocalyptic. I frown.

And I need Home, by Philip Phillips, because living here is the closet I’ve ever come to home.


	13. Chapter 13

**Raphael**

            “She gags every time she gets too close to the stopper in the sink,” I laugh as I take a slice of the pizza Casey brought with him.

I swing my legs so that my feet dangle over the side of the rooftop of his apartment building. I can just see the expression on her face now. My heart makes a strange flutter and I take a sip of my drink to try and make it go away. Maybe I swallowed too big of a bite.

            “Seriously, she gags? Why?” Casey shoves almost the whole slice into his mouth and I can see it rolling around, threatening to escape through the gap where his front teeth should be.

            “It’s the food bits. It grosses her out. It’s funny as shell. She even turns greenish.” I finish off the slice of pepperoni and grab another.

            “You talk about her a lot Raph. You sure you don’t, ya’ know-” Casey polishes off his soda and crushes the aluminum can.

            “No way! She drives me nuts! The only reason we’re spending so much time together is because Master Splinter is making us.” I want to tell him that I’m not Donnie, but then Casey has a thing for April too, and I’m not getting involved in that.

Besides why would a pretty human-ish girl want to be with a turtle when she could have any human guy she wants?

            “Right. Well Dude, you’re blushin’,” Casey scratches his jaw and looks away, suppressing a laugh.

            What?

            “I am not! Take it back Casey or I will pound you.” I ain’t blushin’ that’s girl stuff. It ain’t me. My face does feel hot though. Maybe I’m sick.

            “Wow. You’ve got it bad.”

            I clench my hands in fists, struggling with the urge to beat up my friend at the same time suppressing all of these strange feelings that seem to be invading my body. “Shut up Case. Let’s just go find someone to beat up.”

***

            “That’s the last of’em!” I announce, dropping the last tied up thug on the stack.

            “I called the cops. Anonymous tip,” Casey flipped up his black hockey mask and we fist bump.

            We made our way to the fire escape at the end of the street. I enjoyed the work out, even if they were just breaking into cars and spray painting them. I’ve stopped worse crimes. Whatever, it was still fun. Tendrils of paint shot through my shoulder as I swung and flipped over the metal bars, landing with a slight grunt on the rooftop.

            Casey was just seconds behind me. “You okay Man?”

He pointed to my shoulder. I looked over to see a purplish bruise already forming and shrugged. “Eh, no big deal. I don’t even know how it happened.”

“Yeah I get it. So what ya wanna do now? Should we keep goin’?” Casey wiped his nose on his sleeve and motioned his gloved hand toward the next rooftop.

“What time is it Case? I have to be back by curfew.”

“It’s early. Come on, you’ve got time before you have to get home to your girl.” He wiggled his black eyebrows and smiled showing the gap in his teeth.

“She’s not my girl!” I wave a clenched fist at my friend, shake my head, and keep walking.

He’s askin’ for it.

Casey laughs but says nothing.

Before long we’re running and leaping over rooftops. My heart is pounding and my mind wandering, filled with visions of a copper haired girl with big gray eyes, and a small smile playing on her peach colored lips.

She’s getting in my head and I hate it.

I slide to a stop at the roofs edge, taking in the ocean view. A salty wind blows over me and I feel it lift up my bandanna tails, tugging them like a flag behind my head.

“Hey Raph, isn’t that Zoe over there?” Casey elbows me and points to where a redhead is sitting on a bench overlooking the water. Her hair is loose and she’s trying to capture it, her ever present rubber-band already slipping over her shining copper locks.

Yeah, that’s Z alright.  

She glances down at her T-Watch-bracelet-thing Donnie made for all the girls, and takes a cursory look around her.

“She waitin’ for someone?” Casey scratches his head.

“She shouldn’t even be out in the open like that without a disguise. Usually she wears a wig or a hat. I thought she was wearin’ a hat when she left tonight.” I crane my neck to look closer but I don’t see anything on the bench.

Moments later a tall guy wearing a tan colored jacket sits down next to her. My stomach hardens into a knot as he sits so close to her that their legs touch. She smiles at him.

That’s not the smile she gives me.

The blonde reaches out a hand and strokes Zoe’s cheek and she looks away toward the water. Who the shell is this guy? My hands ball into fists.

They talk for a while and he periodically touches her face or her hair. Then the stranger reaches into his coat pocket and slips something into Zoe’s hand. She puts the item in her jacket. He pats her shoulder and kisses her cheek before leaving. My vision is blurred with red and black spots and my jaw aches from clenching it so tight.

Got yourself a human do ya Zoe? I growl, resenting the tiny pang I’m feeling deep inside the middle of my plastron.  

“Raph, is Zoe in some kind of trouble?”

His voice snaps me back. I’d forgotten he was standing next to me.

I shake my head and look at my friend. “Nah, she’s just got herself a human.” I look back to the bench and she’s gone. “I’ve got to go now if I’m going to make it home by curfew. Come on Casey.”

            It had never crossed my mind that she might be meeting someone when she went out at night. It’s none of my business what she does as long as she’s there when it’s time to walk in the lair. She can keep her stupid human. As I run across the rooftops feeling the pavement slapping against my bare feet and the cold night air stinging my face, I resist the urge to hate what I am. I could never be what she wants. I’m too… green. It feels like there’s a rope around my stomach and someone’s pulling a knot tight around it.

Well, he’d better not hurt her, I’ll pound him.    


	14. Chapter 14

**Zoe**

 

He’s late. He’s never late. Part of this deal is that we walk in either right before curfew or right after it, either way we go in together. I know for a fact that the others are all inside and it won’t be long before someone is calling our T-Phones or coming out looking for us. Curfew is no joke in this family.

I bite my lip, glance at my watch-bracelet and check the time.

Oh, Raph, you’d better be okay.

He doesn’t make a sound. But I’m completely tuned into every life form in this sewer tunnel right now, right down to the rats and spiders, and I know he’s there. My eyes sweep the tunnel to my left and I see a shadow of him coming towards me. His gate is uneven…

“Raph, are you hurt? What happened?” I sprint to him, feeling my animal genes in action. As he comes into clear view I see he has a bruise right above his mask and another already surfacing on his right arm and his jaw

"It’s not like you care,” he snaps, looking right past me.

There’s an ache in my throat and I’m torn between wanting to either hug him or punch him in his bruised arm. “What’s wrong?"

"Nothin’, I’m goin’ inside.” His shoulders rise and fall, then he brushes past me, “Get outta my way.”

“Raphael wait, we have to explain why you’re all beat up when we walk in that door. What do you plan to say?” He won’t look me in the eye. In fact judging by the olive colored shell inches from my face, he doesn’t appear to want to look at me at all.

Something happened tonight.          

“I don’t really care what you say Zoe.” He opens the door to the lair and goes inside.

I follow him in and I think for a second that we’re going to get away with it because no one even looks up as we enter. Mikey, Exodus, Leo and Karai are playing a video game, yelling about next player. It looks like Donatello is helping April with her homework on the stairs of the pit. Raph turns to head for the stairs and presumably his room but Sensei appears out of nowhere.

I hate it when he does that.

“You are late.” He raises a furry brow and glances from me to Raphael.

April looks up from her book and Donnie looks at her. Then they both glance sideways at us.

Great. Always love getting busted with an audience.

“Raphael, are you badly injured? What happened?” Splinter stares at him then looks at me again.

Leo, Karai, Mikey and X all turn around to see how badly Raph’s hurt before turning their attention back to the game.

The paused game. Yeah, you aren’t listening or anything are you?

Neither of us answer Splinter.

“Explain!” His tails cracks the air.

Thanks a lot Raphael.

I won’t lie verbally. My actions may have been deceitful but I won’t speak lies to Splinter. Reaching up for my rubber-band I tug it from my hair and begin running my hands through my red waves. My throat feels like it’s closing up. It’s probably full of the lies I won’t say out loud. Either that or it’s the truth trying to bust out.  

“Very well. You know what this means.” His tail wraps around his feet twitching and flicking. “To the ha-shi.”

My blood is boiling. It skipped right past a simmer straight into a raging boil. I feel the heat rush to my face as my hands ball into fists. My head jerks in Raph’s direction.

His gaze is down, jaw clenched, he seems to shake it slightly in an almost apologetic movement.

Pressing my lips flat, I fight to keep my mouth shut. Then I walk past Sensei to the ha-shi. It’s a small room, the next door down from the dojo and it’s usually the boys that end up in it. Splinter has never had to punish me beyond pairing me up with Raph. And I’m pretty sure that in his mind that wasn’t a punishment but some kind of lesson for us both.

As I stand inside the narrow space I look over the strange items within it, a tricycle, cinder blocks, a wood plank, an office chair, a box of miscellaneous items and another plank of wood among various other objects.

I try not to read anyone unless a situation calls for it. It’s just not polite for an empath to do. But when I get emotional, it’s harder for me to shut off and my ability kind of busts loose on me. Right now, I’m struggling to contain it. Raph is standing beside me, radiating some mix of frustration, regret and hurt and it’s confusing for me. His emotions, paired with my Sensei’s own disappointed, angry mix threaten to send me into an outburst.

“Are you sure you don’t want to reconsider and tell me where you’ve been?” Splinter offers us one last chance, before he picks up a pair of strap on roller skates and hands them to Raphael.

Raph puts them on without making a sound but I can see his jaw flexing beneath the clench of his teeth. Next Splinter points to a small metal stool on wheels. Raphael just looks at him. Splinter’s tail snaps the floor impatiently. Raph steps up onto the stool, wearing the roller skates, balancing without any real issue. Then Splinter taps Raphael’s right foot with his walking stick and Raph raises the foot. Using the stick he guides Raphael’s leg to almost a ninety degree angle.

And now Splinter is looking at me. Using his walking stick to guide me he places it against my back and moves me in front of Raphael. Then he taps my legs and jabs my hands then pokes Raphael’s leg and shoulders and taps his hands.

“Handstand,” is all he says to me.

I swallow a groan. My eyes fly up to Raphael’s face but he still won’t look at me.

Great I have to trust someone who seems like they hate me right now.  

And yet I know that I can.

As I gnaw on my bottom lip I also fix my hair into a tight knot on the back of my head. Then taking a deep breath I begin my ascent, first I motion for Raphael to give me his hand. Apparently while he won’t look at me dead on, he’s definitely watching me in his peripheral because his left hand is there ready to join with my right.

My trembling fingers wrap over his palm and as my soft pink flesh presses against his green calloused skin an electric jolt passes between us. I hear him take a sharp inhale at the same time my heart skips a beat. My eyes fly to his but he’s clamped them shut. I give his hand a gentle tug and he begins to pull me off the floor. I move my left foot to his right leg, still held at the ninety degree angle, using it and the strength of his hand to push myself up and over his head in a one handed handstand above him. He reaches up to take my left hand in his right.

Once I’ve settled in my handstand I feel Splinters walking stick tap each of my heels, “Split.”

I comply and slip into a split leg handstand and focus on maintaining my position and pacing my breath. My eyes fall to my drishti, my focal point, and it’s the top of Raphael’s head, green with purple bruise and all.

Great.

A chair scrapes against the concrete and I catch sight of our Sensei sitting right in front of Raphael.

Sure, take a load off Master. No sweat.

**Twenty minutes later…**

“You can always tell me where you’ve been.” Splinter offers.

I can feel my muscles trembling and I’m sure Raphael can too.

Focus on my drishti, my focal point, the top of his head. This will keep me where I need to be. My mind wanders as my drishti shifts, from a rather beautiful shade of mottled emerald green marred with purple, into a blur, and it seems to fade into the distance. I can do this. I will do this. I’m no longer seeing anything beyond the blur in front of my face.

Hands and eyes are the easiest way for me to get the clearest reading of someone’s emotions. When I look in someone’s eyes and tune in I can see what I’m not feeling from the touch. Hands somehow allow the chi to flow from another into me, filling me like water into a cup. Right now Raphael is trying to suppress his emotional energy, opting to exude extreme calm and focus. I stand to be hurt worse than he would if I fall, and above all that’s what he’s not willing to let happen.

So you care enough to control your feelings so you can ensure my safety, and I know how hard that is for you. Hmmm…

I don’t know how much time has passed before Splinter speaks to us again. “Raphael, look up at Zoe.”

What? Why? Oh, no.

Raphael inhales deeply and lifts his head, his eyes locking on my own. His glassy green gems take my breath away. There’s no hiding it and there’s no bracing myself against it.   I feel us both wobble and I’m not sure if it’s my fault or his, because he looks as stricken as I feel. We both react with subtle shifts of weight, almost as if we knew where we each needed the support.

His eyes are so beautiful and deep, and they just became my new drishti. The problem with this drishti is that it’s looking back at me. Raphael’s eyes, paired with his hands, and both of us in this awkward and dependent position make me feel vulnerable.

He on the other hand, now has a steely gaze, cold and impassive on the surface. But the longer I look… I recognize the desperate need to hide the undeniable hurt beneath.  

“Why are you mad at me?” I didn’t realize I said it aloud, it was only supposed to be a thought, but there it was.

He growled a little, and rolled his eyes before fixing them on me again. “Not now Zoe.”

“And why not? We’re here right now,” we bobbled, and each took a slow breath, correcting our position again before I continued, “because of you.”

“Just mind your business,” he squeezed my hands gently but firmly.

“Very interesting,” Splinter interrupted us.

Raphael and I swallowed at the same time.

“So you trust each other with your safety but not with your hearts.”

With that comment we took a massive buckle and I could hear Raphael groan as he commanded his muscles to obey him in an effort to keep us from falling. I strained to maintain my position, trying not to reach for strength from him, but finding him readily offering it to me where I needed it. Somehow we made the necessary corrections to save ourselves.

Now if we could just maintain our composure in the wake of Splinters words.

It was even harder to look in his eyes now. The sheet of green ice at the top beckoned me to fracture it and tear it down. But I wouldn’t. He was going to have to meet me halfway if I was going to go there.

My palms felt damp with moisture and I don’t know if it was me or Raph releasing it, either way it wasn’t helping our cause any.

“I want you to answer without thinking. Do you understand?” Splinter feels the need to pose a question to us now.

“Yes Sensei.” We answer in unison.

“Would you consider yourselves friends?”

“Yes Sensei.”

“Good.” Splinter strokes the long strand of fur on his chin. “Then why behave as though you are enemies?”

“He/She drives me nuts!” We speak at the same time again.

“And yet you can finish one another’s thoughts, and speak the same words at the same time, and often.” Splinter chuckles. “I will be back soon. Do not move.”

Next I hear the door close behind him.

“Seriously? Did he just leave?” I whine and feel my arms tremble.

“Stay focused. If we break this position he’ll put us in a worse one and we’ll have to start all over.” Raph’s eyes and hands share his strength with me and not a moment too soon as I felt my resolve wavering.

“So do you want to tell me,” I push the words out in a huff, at the same time I’m trying to stop the twitching in my bicep, “why you’re mad at me?”

“Nope,” he grins a little, but it fades quickly and the hurt in his eyes rushes to the surface, quickly covered with the icy shield.

That was it. That was his halfway. Whatever thought just flickered through his brain took down his guard and now it’s right back up.

Ugh, I wish Splinter would hurry up.

Finally the door opens and Splinter appears in my peripheral. “Do you wish to tell me where you were tonight?”

Neither of us answer.

“Very well. You are grounded to the lair for a week. You may go to bed.”

“But Sensei!” We both protest.

“Another word and I will make it two weeks and you can just stay where you are.” He waits a moment then turns to leave.

Raph lowers me to my feet and as I begin stretching out my stiff muscles he puts a hand on my shoulder.

“You are my friend Zoe and I do trust you.” His voice is soft but he’s forcing himself to look me in the eye, “I’m sorry and uh- I hope that you are happy.” Then he frowns, drops his hand to his side and leaves.

What?

Okay friends, check.

He’s sorry, well yeah, check.

I get both of those.

But I hope you’re happy? Where did that come from?

It didn’t sound sarcastic, it sounded… sad.


	15. Chapter 15

**Raphael**

If I stay mad at her then she can’t hurt me. Not that she even means to. I don’t know why but I believed her when she said she’d never hurt me again. It was like she understood what I needed. She just, got it, she got me. Since that day in the dojo she really hasn’t done any of the things that set me off.

The only problem is, I don’t like how she makes me feel and since I’m pretty sure she doesn’t feel the same way, I need to stay mad at her until I can make it stop. That’s usually an easy thing for me to do, only right now I’m enjoying her company so much I can’t find a reason to be mad, let alone stay mad.

“Raph, how come I’m always helping you with your chores but you never help me with mine?” Zoe just finished her stomach crunches and is now sitting next to me while I do push-ups balanced on my sai.

“Stand on my shell.” I tell her.

“What? What kind of insult is that?” She leans closer and I catch a whiff of honeysuckle.

I chuckle, “It’s not, literally stand on my shell.”

“Okkaaay, oh, I get it. You’re going to do push-ups while I stand on your shell.” Zoe stands up and I lower down as she steps on, evenly distributing her weight with her feet apart.

“Are you sure you’re not a blonde?” I say before I start with my push-ups.

“Har-har. No really, I have a chore that I’ve been uh- putting off and it’d be rather partnerly of you to help me with it.”

She weighs next to nothing but it added a little something to my usual, and I like the way her feet feel on my shell. It was the only way I could think of to kill off the urge to touch her. It’s like after our stint in the ha-shi I was hooked, constantly looking for some reason to make physical contact with her. Holding her hands had sent a shock through me, it hit every nerve in my body like nothing I’ve ever felt before and it stopped right in the middle of my plastron like an explosion. She’s warm and soft and when she looks at me with her stormy gray eyes, I feel like she could tear me apart one layer at a time. I might even want her to.

“So are you going to help me? And just how many push-ups are you going to do?”

Her voice breaks through my thoughts. “Are you sitting on me?” I already know she is, I can feel more weight directly against my shell than before.

“Eh, criss-cross applesauce. You’ve done like fifty push-ups, I’m getting bored.”

I laugh, “Get off then.”

She slips off my carapace and I struggle to keep a victory smile off my face. Touching me doesn’t seem to bother her. If I didn’t know she was seeing that guy, it’d be harder for me to accept that she doesn’t like me. I get to my feet, slipping my sai in my belt.

“Alright so what’s this chore? We’ve got training in a few.”

“Whatever it is, it will have to wait.” Leo appears behind Zoe and we both look at him.

Leo’s eye ridges are drawn together a deep frown on his face.

“What’s up?” I ask standing next Zoe.

“Something’s wrong with April and Karai. Donnie’s been running tests for the past hour. He says we need to get some kind of medicine,” Leo hesitates, “from the lab we busted them out of.”

“What’s wrong with them?” Zoe steps closer to Leo then looks toward Donatello’s lab. She doesn’t wait for him to answer and heads in that direction.

“What is wrong with’em?” I ask him.

“Exodus is worse than April but Donnie says something is wrong with their immune systems, like their bodies are attacking themselves and there’s some kind of a change happening to them.”

“Like what?”

“April’s psychic, that’s nothing new, but instead of just hearing the Kraang, now she can hear the thoughts of everyone in the room too.” A light red blush crossed Leo’s face.

_April must’ve read his more private thoughts._

“Oh. What about X?”

Leo went from irritated to somewhat amused in the next breath, “She’s moving objects… with her mind.”

“Right. Okay so that’s weird but I don’t get how medicine is going to fix that.” Honestly, nothing surprises me anymore. Really, after everything we’ve seen, I’m not fazed by this at all.

“I don’t know the sciency stuff but both girls are really tired, saying their bodies hurt and they both have a weird rash on their arms. I don’t really know more than that Raph, but Donnie says they need this medicine and we’ve got to go get it.”

Zoe reappears behind Leo, “I can get it. We don’t have to go back there.”

Leo perks up, tilting his head as he watches her shift uncomfortably. “What do you mean you can get it?”

“I can get the medicine Leo but I need to go alone. I’ll leave now and be back in a couple hours, before curfew. No one has to risk anything. It’ll be fine.” She reaches out a tiny hand to touch my brother’s arm and I feel a pang of jealousy. “Please let me do this and please don’t ask any questions. Donnie told me what we need. Trust me Leo.”

Leo studies her face and I know he’s not comfortable letting her go anywhere alone. Shell, he thinks we’re together when we go out at night. He’d probably try to pound me if he knew I don’t even know where she goes. _Except to meet that human._ I shouldn’t let her do that and I know it. It’s just she doesn’t tell me what to do, I don’t feel like I have the right to do that to her either.

“Take Raph with you.” He says finally.

She shakes her head, “I can’t Leo. I have to go alone.”

Leo crosses his arms over his plastron, planting his feet apart. “Are you going to meet someone? If you can’t tell me anything about where you’re going or who your meeting, I can’t allow you to go alone.”

_Good luck changing his mind Zoe._

Zoe crosses her arms, imitating Leo’s body posture.

_Good luck stopping her Leo._

“I’m a big girl Leo and we’re wasting time.” Without waiting for his response she turns and walks out the lair door.

“Uh, what just happened?” Leo scratches his chin, “Did she just leave without telling me anything?”

“Yeah, she did.” I look at the lair door and smile.

“You already know-” My brother shakes his head and uncrosses his arms.

“Yea, yea, I’ll follow her.” I wave him off and slip out the door.

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Zoe**

I’m no fire escape, rooftop leaping girl. Nope I just walk down the street. Only right now I’m running at cheetah speed straight for our meeting spot. I don’t stop until I get there. The sun is setting over the bay and as I pace in front of my favorite bench I see steam rolling off my skin. The air is cold and harsh, rushing down my throat like ice, stinging my lungs with every inhale.

Exodus looked bad. Really bad. Donnie sent me for something that X should’ve been taking all along. I didn’t want to make a production of it but I had to wonder when the last time she’d had medication had been.

I flipped out my shell cell and dialed his number.

“It’s not Thursday Zoe, this had better be good.”

_Well he answered. That was something._

“I need your help.” I whisper into the phone.

“You always do. You know you owe me. When are we going to discuss payment?”

My stomach turned. “I can do a job for you soon. I got in some trouble and haven’t been about in a couple days. Maybe tomorrow night?”

“Maybe tonight. I could use you.”

I tug my hair from its knot and immediately regretted it as the wind began whipping it across my face. That’s fine, it can cover my shame. “Fine Hunter, I need the usual but I need three times as much.”

He laughed a cold wicked laugh, “Oh in that case you’re definitely working tonight. What time will you be at the location?”

“I’m there now. It’s an emergency.” As the ends of my hair stung my face I grabbed it and held it. _I shouldn’t tell him that, he’ll use it for leverage._

“Good, the job comes first, then I’ll give you the meds. Be there in five.”

My insides shiver, “You’re that close?”

“The jobs in the area Zoe. Do you need gear?”

“Yeah, I just got here as fast as I could.” I swallow in an effort to calm my nerves.

“In five.” He says before hanging up.

I shove the phone back in my pocket and lean over the metal railing in front of the bench. The barges drudge through the water and I consider for a second getting on one and wonder where it would take me. There’s an ache in my chest at the thought of never seeing Raphael or the others again. _No, I’ve got to stay here, I want to stay here. What a stupid thought, floating away on a barge. Anywhere I go, I’d want them with me._

Slipping my rubber-band off my wrist, I wrangle my hair into a knot. I shift my weight from foot to foot and stretch a bit to limber up and stay warm. The puffs of air appearing before me with every exhale are one reason I think it might snow, the other is the fact that tiny flakes were already starting to fall.

I watch the icy green waves crashing against the shore and my mind drifts to Raphael. Since that night in the ha-shi I’ve felt drawn to him. Blood rushes to my face. _I even had a dream about him._ As I rub my hands over my face I whisper, “Get your head in the game Zoe.”

“Yeah, get your head in the game Zoe.” Hunter’s voice is as unique as Raphael’s but for an entirely different reason. Everything that comes out of Hunter’s mouth is either a ploy to brainwash me, manipulate me, own me, or do anything else that ends with him controlling me.

He knows I need the medications. And I won’t ask the boys to help me obtain them.

_I can take care of myself._

Hunter’s green eyes aren’t as nice as Raphael’s either. They’re beady and dead inside. His soul is so black. I could never pull him from the evil he’s addicted to and the only place he can ever take me is down with him. My stomach churned. That was something he had no problem trying to do.

He gave me a once over and I realized I wasn’t even wearing a coat. Goose-bumps covered my arms as I drew them across my chest in an effort to warm myself. He handed me a slim fitting black fleece jacket and I pulled it on. “The yoga pants should be fine. Here’s a weapons bag. Take your pick.”

I unzip the bag and look inside then up at him. “I hate guns Hunter, what else have you got?”

A hand flies toward my face but at the last second, his trembling fingers stroke my cheek. My breath hangs trapped in my chest and I willfully force it out and fake a smile. “Please?”

“Fine, here.” He moves the guns aside and hands me what looks like a compacted compound bow.

I push a few buttons on the handle and it unfolds. It’s not as light as mine but it will work. “Better. Arrows?”

He reaches in the bag again and hands me a dozen.

 I frown, “Hope I don’t run out.”

 “Yeah, don’t cut your finger on the points either, their laced with sleeping powder.”

 “Powder or poison?” I eye the razor sharp silver tips.

 “Is there a difference?” His smile turns my blood to ice.

_If I could just get away from this arrangement, I so would._

He puts a hand on my shoulder and rubs it. I feign a grateful smile but I may very well vomit.

 “What’s the job Hunter?” I straighten and place the bow over my shoulder. He hands me a small piece of fabric that opens up into a keep where I place my arrows. I fish through the bag around the guns and find some rope, a glass cutter, lock picking and fingerprint kits and a handful of shuriken. I load up the keep, tighten my shoelaces and look at him.

 “Warehouse 14 east, enter through the roof. In a crate marked 42637 and stamped FRAGILE there will be a canister. Bring it to me, along with anything else in the crate.”

 My eyes widen, “What else will be in the crate?”

He grabs my biceps and jerks me toward him causing my head to whip back, he’s squeezing so hard I can feel my muscles burn from the pressure. “Stop asking questions Zoe, or else I’ll be less inclined to give you what you came for and more so to apply some well needed discipline to you.”

 “Let go of me Hunter.” I draw my hands under his arms and in, thrusting them into his chest as I step forward, effectively pushing him away from me.

He laughs and it’s a bitter sound that grates my ears, “You have one hour, call me when the jobs done.”

 I feel my T-Phone buzz in my pocket.

_I’m getting a text, now?_

I watch Hunter leave, not stupid enough to turn my back on him. Then I pull the phone from my pant pocket.

 **Raph:** You okay?

A sense of calm washes over me and I feel warmed from the inside. I feel a smile play across my lips.

 **Z:**    Yea, I’m fine. Are _YOU_ okay?

I laugh and shove the phone back in my pocket but it vibrates again before I take my fingers off it.

 **Raph:** ?

Another giggle escapes me and I feel the corners of my mouth reaching for my ears, as only he can make me do. I shake my head and put the phone back in my pocket.   Taking a deep breath, I lick my lips and head for warehouse 14. It’s six blocks straight ahead and down three on the left, I could run there in two minutes and it would warm me up.

“Well that’s settled,” I say to myself and sprint toward my destination.

A few minutes later I’m scaling a fire escape. The closer to the roof I get the more I sense an extra energy in the air. As my feet hit the rooftop I crouch low and keep to the darkest corner of the roof. I don’t see anyone. I scan the rooftop looking for an entry point.

_A freight elevator?_

_Eh, why not?_

Oh and a lovely, very ancient and delightfully exposed security camera, fixed above the door.

As I circle around the back of the elevator entry I wish I could leap as high as the boys do.

_It’s only two feet taller than you are. Why can’t you fly, you’ve got those stupid bird genes._

I roll my eyes, make a lasso with my rope and throw it around the camera. Then I test my weight against it before using it to climb the side of the elevator shaft onto the roof of it. I pull a piece of gum from my pant pocket, give it a good chew then press it over the lens of the camera.

“Black out.”

I lower myself in front of the elevator doors and pull my jacket over my head as I press the button and they open.

I peek through the hole in my collar and see there’s no camera inside it and pull my jacket back down. _Let’s see there’s three floors._ There’s a map and directory on the wall of the elevator by the buttons.

Level 1 is processing.

“Sounds good to me,” I use my foot to press the number one and move closer to the button panel, pressing myself out of sight. When the doors open I peek around and see the warehouse is dark, free of people and covered in crates. I move along the outside and try to find a serial number on the giant boxes.

 10099, 10100, 10101. _Wrong row._ I cross the aisle. _20000, okay better._ Then I skip two more aisles. 41000. I slip into the aisle and skim quickly down until I reach 42000. The crates in this row are stacked almost to the ceiling. _Oh, no._ I look up and see the numbers raise, 42100, 42200, and 42300.

 _Guess I’m climbing._ Each crate is about a foot taller than me and two feet wider, but they aren’t stacked perfectly square on each other. _I should be able to scale them._ As I begin my slow ascent I see a narrow strip of light flash across the warehouse. Pressing my body flat between two crates I hold my breath. A guard weaves his way lazily up and down each aisle before the light vanishes into the elevator. I exhale and begin climbing again, 42400, 42500, and 42600, really the very top?

I pull myself up and onto the crate and realize there’s enough room for me to stand up straight and step across the crates. That’s not a good choice for me it’s too exposed. I kneel and crawl, in case I need to drop down suddenly. _The serial numbers are stamped all over these things._ 42635, 42636, 42637. I move back on my haunches, flinching in surprise. That’s weird. It’s glass… with air-holes in it? The whole thing is black glass and it’s creaking beneath my weight.

I step back onto the metal crate next to it and examine the glass box. There’s an electronic keypad on the side close to the edge of the crate I’m sitting on. Maybe if I just lie atop the glass crate and lean over I can work the combination upside down. Pulling my keep forward I fish through it and find my fingerprint kit. I wish I had someone to spot me as I slide onto the glass crate and fold over the side of it working quickly. I press in the code and want to laugh.

_Idiots. It’s the same as the damn serial number._

I hear the hiss of a hydraulic door open and feel my body being lifted. It opens on the top! I feel my body slide down the front of the glass and I scramble to find something to grab from my upside down angle. My hand reaches the side of the crate but it’s smooth and I’m already falling…


	17. Chapter 17

**Raphael**

 

The crate top opens enough to shove her into a free fall right as I grab her ankle. “I’ve got ya. I’ve got you Z.”

I lift her up by the leg and by the time she’s dangling in front of me I see her arms crossed over her chest and I want to laugh.

“Put me down Raphael and tell me why you’re here.”

 As I hold her by her ankle with one hand I reach out to her with my other. She readily accepts it and I get her right side up. “Ah you know, I was in the neighborhood and thought, hey pretty red-head in a free fall…” There’s a smirk on my face and she looks both grateful to see me and ready to punch me at the same time, “It’d be a shame not to help her out.”

 Her red eyebrows knit together, “So, Leo sent you.”

 “Yeah pretty much,” I tilt my head to the side and smile at her.

 “Ah, stop being cute and let’s get this done and get out of here.” She rolls her eyes and turns to look in the now open glass crate.

 I think she just called me cute. And my heart skipped a beat.

“Raph are you going to stand there or are you going to help?” She’s facing the crate but looking over her shoulder at me.

I find my eyes skimming over the back of her before settling on her grays.

“Did you just check me out?”

I feel my cheeks flush, “No. Don’t be stupid Zoe. Let’s just get this done.”

 “Are you blushing? Oh, now that is really cute.” Her gray eyes are glossy and bright with mischief.

“Shut up Zoe. How can you see anyway, it’s dark in here.” I snap at her.

She just called me cute… again.

Skip.

“The same way you can turtle boy, animal genes remember.” A second later her torso has disappeared over the side of the crate. She reappears within minutes holding two small silver canisters in her hands. “Let’s get out of here.”

We make our way to the end of the crates and shimmy down easily. We’re in the elevator and on the snow covered rooftop in three minutes total.

Not bad. I can’t believe we took the elevator but whatever.

I think we’re going to the fire escape but she grabs my hand and pulls me to a dark corner of the roof.

She’s holding my hand.

Tiny flakes of snow float down intermingling with the light of a full winter moon and together they highlight her red hair. I wonder for a second if there’s any kind of light that doesn’t enhance those beautiful strands.

She’s biting her lip and releasing her grip. “Raph you can’t come with me. If he sees you-” Her eyes close and she shakes her head, “Please. Go home.”

She’s scared for me. “What have you got yourself into Zoe?”

“You’ve been following me all night.”

It’s a statement not a question and she’s right. I wanted to give that guy the beat down of a lifetime after he jerked her around. I feel my jaw set at the thought. But then I sent her that text and she said she was fine. She even smiled and laughed at it. The smile she reserves only for me.

“Raph,” she steps closer to me, stretching up on her toes in an effort to look me in the eye, but still coming up… well… short.

I grin.

Then I find myself bending over to meet her halfway and instantly I know I’m in trouble.

Large mirror gray eyes peer into me, piercing through my shields, shattering them, and I find myself helpless to fight them. “Thank you for being there when I needed you.”

Hop.

Her arms are reaching, her fingertips gently brushing the sides of my face, the heat from them searing into my skin, and she lures me to her, all just so that her whisper soft lips can grace my cheek.

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Zoe**

 

As my lips brush his scaled cheek I’m filled with the thrills of a free fall. My mouth is burning, begging me to turn my head another inch to find his.  Instead I move my gaze from his green cheek up to his eyes, only to find them clamped shut. His breathing seems to have stopped.

My hands slide from the sides of his face back to my sides and I step back, turning to leave.

I have a job to finish.

But right as I move, his hand comes down on my arm, spinning me to face him. In the fraction of a few seconds, he has gone from soft, open and receiving to tense, confused, and down-right angry.

What? He’s mad. Why’s he mad?

“Why’d you do that?” He pulls his hand back, clenching it in a fist at his side. His nostrils are flaring and his lip is curled in a snarl.

Oh my, you are so not into me. I totally, read that all wrong.

I feel my face flush with embarrassment. “I’m sorry.”

For a second I saw a flicker of hurt in his eyes but he stomped it down, replacing it with a cool, flinty look that made my heart sink.

“You should be. I thought you were better than that.” He’s hissing at me through clenched teeth.  

“What are you talking about?” My eyebrows draw together, then, realizing my mouth is hanging open, I snap it shut and cross my arms.

What is going on with him?

“Your boyfriend may be a jerk but I never thought you were the kind to kiss somebody else when you’re with someone.”

“What are you talking about?” My mouth is hanging open again.   I pull it closed and glare at him, “I don’t have a boyfriend Raphael and if I did, kissing someone on the cheek isn’t a betrayal.” I glance at the black tarred rooftop, rub my face and look into his eyes. “No, that’s not true. There’s a kiss on the cheek and then there’s the kiss on the cheek that I just gave you and… that would’ve been a betrayal.”

I’ve never seen him so confused and clearly dazed. He seemed to be sorting through an array of thoughts, each one backed with a different emotion. “He’s not your boyfriend.”

I shake my head and blink repeatedly, “Who? Who, Raphael, who?”

He doesn’t answer me, opting to look away. Then with renewed tension he turns on me yet again, “You promised you wouldn’t…” His eyes dart over the roof, and I notice his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides, his chest rising and falling faster than usual.

Oh, he thinks I was teasing him. He thinks I’m playing with him.

My heart is doing a strange flip flop, tugging thing and it almost hurts. I step toward him but resist the urge to touch him. “Raphael I have not said or done anything I haven’t meant since that day in the dojo, just like I promised.”

The flex of his jaw was distracting, it kept moving as if he was chewing on his words, hoping to spit out the right ones. “So you really think I’m cute?” He didn’t look at me, seeming to brace himself as if my answer might wound him.

I took a deep controlled breath. He can’t believe that I could actually like him and I can’t laugh at how silly that is because he will flip out. “Yes.” I answer him honestly, then decide to throw his own words back at him, “Do you really think I’m pretty?”

“Did I say that?” His masked bunch around his eyes, and I couldn’t tell if he’d not realized what he said, or if he was just going to use this opportunity to get the upper-hand.

“Yes you did.” I shift my weight, tilting my head a little and realize I’m giving him a rather mean stare. Then it dawns on me that I care about him enough that he could hurt me just as easily as I could him.

“Why’s it matter?” He shrugs, still not looking at me.

“Are you serious?” I shake my head. “I’ve got to go, deliver these canisters and get the meds. I can’t, I don’t-” I take a deep breath and risk my pride. “I like you a lot Raphael. Enough to kiss you. Do what you want with that. We can fight about it again later if you want. Which by the way, is stupid.” I wave at him dismissively and turn to leave.

“Stupid? You think this is stupid? You have no idea. None! I’m not human Zoe.” He’s in front of me now, his face just inches from my own. Green eyes are searing into me, “Look at this face.” His finger is right in front of my eye but it’s pointed at him. “Not. Human.”

“No, it’s not,” I meet his stare head on, pressing my lips together and feeling air rushing in and out through my nose. “And how dare you think that little of me. Now get out of my way.” I push past him and this time he lets me leave.

 


	19. Chapter 19

**Raphael**

 

_How dare you think that little of me._

The words are trapped in my head, bouncing around, looking for a way out. They sting as bad as rejection would have, maybe more. I was ready for rejection. I wasn’t ever going to do anything about my feelings. My plans included them going away. Because they would, I’d make them.

I was sure he was her boyfriend and that meant my feelings would never go anywhere because she wanted a human and she had one. In my mind she did anyway. _It’s what she deserves._ I swipe a fist at the air and growl before stomping across the rooftop, to the ledge, then launching myself across to the next one.

_How dare you think that little of me._

_What’s that even mean, really?_

_She likes me. She freakin’ likes me. Me._

_She’s nuts._

The snow is coming down harder, in large fluffy flakes covering the rooftops. As I slide to a stop on Casey’s roof the cold white powder leaves a skid behind me, a small pile folding up over my toes. I glare at my stupid green feet, then turn on my heel and pace, stomping five steps before turning and seeing my odd two toed print and finding myself wondering...

_What am I doing? She likes me. What is she doing?_

_How dare you think that…_

_Why? Just get a human Zoe. This will all go away. Think Zoe. I’d be a mistake._

My footprint seems to grow larger, as if it’s mocking me, reminding me of what I am.

_I’m a mistake._

“Gah!” I swipe my foot across the snow smearing out my footprints.

 

***

As I step inside the lair it occurs to me that I don’t know if she’s home yet. It doesn’t take me long to figure it out because my brother is arms crossed, pacing right by the door. He stops mid-step and his eyes dart from me to the empty space behind me.

 “Where’s Zoe?” Irritated blue eyes stab me with his unspoken accusations.

 “She’s not here?” I shrug and walk past him, heading for the dojo.

 _Maybe I can beat these crap feelings out of me._  


“Why would you not know where she is? You were supposed to follow her! What happened?” He’s following me.

_I’m not in the mood for his lecture._

“Save it Leo.”

“Did you even go after her?” Leo’s hand comes down on my shoulder and I grab it, twist, and flip him.

 As his shell hits the floor I hear my father’s voice.

 “What is the meaning of this?”

  Neither of us answer. Leo gets to his feet and we stand, side by side, looking our father in his furious brown eyes.

 “Where is Zoe?”

The lair door opens and Zoe darts straight past us into the lab. Her hair hangs down her back, tangled and wet with melting snowflakes. Pink flushes her face and her breaths seem to come to her in ragged waves. Father raises a suspicious furry eyebrow and steps inside the lab. Leo and I follow.

April is resting on a cot beside the metal table that Exodus is sleeping on. Both girls look sickly. _How fast they’d gotten this way. They were fine yesterday._ Zoe’s is standing over Exodus holding the girls hand in her own. Karai and Mikey are hovering around both girls as if they didn’t know what to do. Donatello was already injecting them with the medicine that Zoe brought.

“They need rest.” Donnie tells us, dimming the lights and ushering all of us out of the lab.

“I will speak with everyone in the dojo.” My father says before heading in that direction.

We all kneel before Sensei in the dojo and my father takes slow deliberate strides back and forth before us, stroking the long fur that hangs from his chin.

“Donatello, will April and Exodus be alright?” He pauses by my brainy brother.

“Yes Sensei, but they will need regular doses of this medication.” Donnie swallows, “indefinitely."

“I see,” Splinter nods before continuing, “and is this a result of what happened in the laboratory?"

“Yes Sensei, although I don’t know what it was… that happened.” Donatello looked in Zoe’s direction and Splinter followed my brother’s gaze.

“Zoe, you obtained the medication for them. How did you procure it?” Sensei fixed his eyes on Zoe’s bright pink face.

The backs of her hands rested against her shins, her fingers curling slightly toward her palms as she stared into the small cupped space they created. “I can continue to obtain the medicine they need.” She said without looking up.

“That was not my question. How did you get the medication so quickly?” My father’s tail curled around his feet, his tail tapping the floor in a steady rhythm that left us all looking at Zoe, hoping she’d answer for her own sake.

“I have a… contact.”

Still she did not look up.

“Leonardo, did Zoe go alone to meet this… contact?”

_Here we go._

“No Sensei, Raph went with her.”

_Hmm. Maybe not._

“Very well. That is all, for now. Raphael and Zoe, please stay.”

Sensei eyes us both thoughtfully before speaking.“Zoe there is the matter of a chore you have been neglecting. You and Raphael take care of it before going to bed. I will see you both in the morning.”

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Raphael**

 

“You don’t have to help me. Just go.”

She’s not looking at me.

“No, I’m not going to just go. He said we both have to do this thing. So what is it?” As I stand up and walk over to her I cross my arms over my plastron.

“Why?” Not moving from her spot on the floor, and still not looking at me, she crosses her arms too.

“Why, what? What’s the chore and let’s go do it.” I rub my face, “Come on Zoe. Let’s just get it done.”

Her head snaps up and cold, impassive gray eyes glare at me and my blood turns to ice.

_Oh, no. I recognize that look._

“Fine. I have to clean out the refrigerator.” She gets to her feet and moves to leave. But before I’ve thought about it, my hand is reaching for her arm.

“Zoe, wait.”

I’ve effectively stopped her, but I haven’t thought this through. I hate talking when I haven’t thought it through.

_That look, is not a good thing. She’s putting up a wall._

My heart sinks so low, I’m pretty sure it’s resting on top of the knot that is my stomach.

_A wall to protect herself…_

_From me._

Her back is still to me, my hand resting on the black fleece jacket covering her arm. “Don’t do this.” My voice sounds strained.

Red waves sway to the side, wafting up the scent of honeysuckle and I resist the urge to burry my face in her hair. She tilts her head slightly, to glance at me. “Do what?”

“Hate me.” I don’t know where the words are coming from but I feel the desperate need to get that wall down. Shutting me out is not what I wanted.

“I could never hate you Raphael.” Her lip trembles and tears brim her now glossy gray eyes. She blinks them away quickly, rubbing a hand over her face before turning to look at me full on. “You know I’m not human either. I know I look like it but I’m not. I make stupid animal sounds instinctively and I have to worry about that constantly when I’m around them. With you guys, I know that it’s not going to bother you. I thought my differences wouldn’t matter here. What I didn’t expect is that you would be so prejudice against humans that you’d lump me in a category where you place everyone else who’s not a turtle.”

She lifts her chin and glares at me, she’s trying so hard to put that wall up and I just can’t bring myself to let her. _But I should._

“I don’t hate humans Zoe.” If she was anyone else I’d be letting her have it right now. This is crap. But I’ve hurt her. I’m hurting her and she’s hurting me.

_When will this ever end?_

Her pink lips press together and she chews on the inside of her cheek before looking at the floor and tapping her foot. “So what then Raphael, you’re just too good for me, is that it?”

“You’re crazy.” _I want to scream so many things at you right now. I’m not good enough for you, not the other way around, you, you, you… freaking stupid beautiful girl…_

Strawberry blonde eyebrows rise, above widened eyes and flat lips. “Is that right? I’m crazy? Please explain, Raphael. I’d love to hear this.”

 _I can’t do this. If she has to put up that wall, I have to let her. It’s selfish of me not to._ _She’ll be better off without me._

“You deserve a nice human guy Zoe and I’m sure you’ll find one. Now let’s go clean the refrigerator.”

She looks stricken, something just snapped and broke in her eyes and suddenly I’m hit with a revelation that leaves my head spinning.

_There’s a kiss on the cheek and then there’s the kiss on the cheek that I just gave you and… that would’ve been a betrayal…_

Never in my life did I think I’d see someone’s heart break over me. The very idea is insane. And yet I know what I just saw and I think I may be sick at the sight of it. I saw the glass shattering in her eyes, for only a second, before a hard stone wall was laid over the top, dousing out a light that may have been meant for me.

“If Splinter doesn’t split us up soon, I’m leaving. You stay away from me unless he’s in the room. Do you understand me?”

“Yea.” I choke out through the massive lump in my throat. My eyes are watering, I can’t breathe and I’m pretty sure my heart just stopped.

_How did I screw this up so bad so fast?_

 

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Zoe**

 

I leave him standing in the dojo and I don’t look back. It’s all I can do to not break down in front of him and I won’t give him that satisfaction. From the hall I look to the right and as the tears break free I rush past the living area straight out the lair door.

“Zoe wait!”

I hear Mikey’s call to me and I feel my feet slow, but I don’t quite stop. Walking on the drier side of the sewer tunnel I hear the wheels of a skateboard and he catches up to me quickly. He steps off, flips the board into his hand and attaches it to the holder on his shell before stepping right alongside me.

Neither of us talk, he just walks with me and I find his company soothing. It’s hard to be near Michelangelo and not feel happy. He carries his own light and shares it with everyone around him.

 _Exodus is lucky._ _Mikey’s heart is so big and so open. His brothers his even bigger, I know, but it’s so heavily guarded I don’t think he’ll ever let me in._

“Where are we going?” Mike turns his bright blue eyes on me and I smile through my tears.

            “I don’t know Mikey,” and while I thought I was ready to speak, I really wasn’t because a sob broke loose. Before I know it, gentle solid muscle arms are wrapping around me, pulling me into a hug that couldn’t have had more perfect timing.

            As my tears subside, he leans back to look at me, “Come on Babe, I know just the place. But I’m gonna have ta borrow your face.”

            “Huh?” I look at him and in the confusion that is Mikey, I laugh. It’s a pathetic sound but it helped.

            “You’ll see. Come on.” He tugs me along and I go willingly. I’m drained, it’s been a wretched long night, with highlights and lowlights and if this is somewhere in between I can rest a little easier. And Mikey rarely disappoints.

            He leads me down a maze of tunnels before pointing to a ladder, giving me a boost up, then slipping by me and moving the manhole cover. A large green hand reaches down for me, pulling me from beneath the street and resting me on my feet. But I’m not on them long. He’s scooped me up, flying up a fire escape, and sweeping over rooftop after rooftop before he finally puts me down, drags me to the corner of a rectangular shaped roof and points to the street below. Then he fishes something out of his utility belt and shoves it in my hand, “I’ll have a triple scoop, rocky road, mint chocolate chip, and cherry chocolate chip. Get whatever you want and meet me back up here. Go on hurry!”

            I laugh and it sounds a little better. “Okay Mikey why are we eating ice-cream at midnight in a foot of snow?”

            “Because ice-cream makes everything better, no matter what the weather. Go! Go or I’m gonna and that’s going to get really weird quick.” He shoves me toward the fire escape.

            “How am I supposed to climb a fire escape with two ice-cream cones?” There’s a smile on my face, and while it doesn’t quite reach my ears the way someone else can make me do, I know that by the time Mikey’s done with me my face will hurt from laughing so much.

            “I’ll get you up here, don’t worry about that part. Now go!”

            I retrieve the requested cones and Mikey snatches me and them up from the street and once we’re back on the rooftop he leads me to the opposite side and the view takes my breath away.

            Whether or not a person finds the city beautiful depends largely on themselves and their preferences. I have lived in a laboratory my whole life. My preferred view so far, because I haven’t seen much, is the ocean. The ocean with a city skyline view under a heavy snowfall and a moonlit sky, scores pretty high in my short book.

            “Not bad, huh?” Mikey’s wide pink tongue laps up the blend of brown, pink and green cream and I marvel at the innocent spirit of this underestimated turtle.

            “Not bad, Mikey. But it’s freezing out here! There’s like a foot of snow on this rooftop and it’s still coming down.”

            Mikey laughs, “It’s awesome isn’t it?”

            I hear his ring tone on his T-Phone at the same time my phone is buzzing.

            “Who’d you get Mikey?” I ask as he glances down at his phone.

            “Leo, he’s worried, out looking for us, wants to where I am, and if you’re with me.” His blue eyes search my face, one hand holding his half eaten cone, the other his phone. “Who’d you get?”

            My hand slips into the pocket of my yoga pant, reaching for my phone and tugging it free. I look down at my nearly frostbitten red fingers wrapped around it before reading the screen. _I should really wear gloves._

Then I read the screen and inhale sharply.  

            **Raph:** I’m sorry.

            Then while I’m staring at the small screen another message comes through.

 **Raph:** Can we talk?

            “You okay Zo?” Mike cranes over me, twisting awkwardly to see the screen of my phone. His ice-cream cone mashes into my jacket leaving a massive multi-colored mess.

            “Mike, with the cone, please,” I look from him to his treat, raise my eyebrows and grin. Yes, he’s making a mess but it’s Mikey. His intentions are good, so I can overlook it.

            “Oh, my bad.” He grins so big his eyes close. Then he shoves the rest of his dessert into his mouth and resumes peeking over my shoulder.

            “It’s Raph.” I say absently, handing him my ice-cream for him to finish and then typing out a reply.

            **Z:** If you want. When?

            “Did you answer Leo?” I turn my head, almost accidentally kissing the orange clad turtles cheek because he’s so in my space.

            “Yea, he and Donnie are on their way.” He says casually.

            “What? Why?” My eyebrows pinch together.

Standing still this long is forcing me to realize just how much my lips are frozen, how badly my body is shivering and my painfully my fingers are numb. I stick both hands, one still wrapped around a phone back in my pocket. A phone that is buzzing again.

I feel alone all of the sudden and I look around, worried about the chipper brother, “Mikey?”

            I pull the phone out and glance down at it, still spinning around looking for Michelangelo.

            **Raph:** How about right now?

            My breath flees me and I spin around again still looking for Mikey and wondering if Raphael has lost his mind. Except when I circle around for the second time, instead of an orange masked turtle there’s his red clad brother on the roof with me.

            “What the-” My heart is slamming against my chest now, because the look on his face is one of determination. Whatever it is that he has on his mind will come to pass, whether I like it or not. That’s how many times I’ve seen that look, that’s how well I know it. For every skill he’s learned, for every game he’s played, for everything Raphael sets out to do, once he decides, that’s it. It will be.

            He moves toward me with the slightest bit of hesitation and I realize he’s making a conscious effort not to appear as standoffish as is his natural stride. As he stops right in front of me looking right in my eyes, stealing my every frozen breath with a vulnerability I’ve never witnessed before in his beautiful greens, I somehow whisper, “yyyyour bbbrother-”

            A big green finger slides under my chin and he cups my face in his hand gently guiding me toward him, his eyes searching me. “Is fine.”

            “Oh. Okay.” I swallow and take a shuttering breath.

            The intensity of his gaze and the tenderness in his touch have me absolutely suspended in time. Just when I think I might slow the beating of my heart, his face is moving towards mine, his mouth hovering so close that his warm breath heats my lips. My snowflake covered eyelids flutter as I try to grasp what he’s doing. His forehead comes to rest against mine, his eyes clamping shut, his lips just fractions above my own. We breathe each other in for a few moments. If either of us moves…

A gentle hand slides from my cheek, down to rest on my bicep and he reaches up with his other so that has a relaxed grasp of each arm. He turns his head, resting it slightly against my cheek before lifting up and across my forehead where he presses his lips in a slow deliberate movement before he speaks to me, “I’m sorry Zoe. But you leaving, that’s not an option. And call me selfish but you hating me, you building up a wall around yourself, that’s not either. Not for me. So I have to know, what do I have to do to fix it?”

            My knees want to buckle and I struggle to hold myself up. “Show me how you feel. Tell me what you want.”

            He sighs and lightly squeezes my arms at the same time he’s lowering his mouth, his lips hovering, drifting, and just as he’s about to press his mouth against mine, right the second he’s committed to do so, a giant flash of white powder slammed into the side of our faces.

            “Mikey!” We both yelled.

            “Snowball fight!” Michelangelo yelled, sliding toward us flinging an armload of snowballs.

            “I will pound you!” Raphael snarled before scooping up handfuls of snow.

            “Oh no.” My eyes widened as I realized that not only were Mike and Raph throwing snowballs but Donatello was flying overhead coming to land beside an arm-loaded Leo who pitched snowballs to him and he swung his staff like a bat sending them flying at Raphael. “No, no, no, not staying up here for this. Not happening.”

            “Aw come on Z!” Mike threw a snowball at me and it splattered on the back of my head.

            “Mikey stop!” I laughed and tried to duck under the barrage of flying snow that ensued.

            “Where you going Z?” Raph launched a ball at me, hitting me in the torso.

            “What happened to your jacket Zoe?” Donnie yelled to me as he batted a snowball right onto the ice-cream blob stain.

           

            “Your little brother!” I yelled kicking up a pile of snow helplessly.

“Come on Zoe!” Leo couldn’t resist smashing me with one of his perfectly packed monstrosities.

            I squealed trying to reach the fire escape. “Guys! Hit each other, leave me out of this!”  

            Somehow I moved to the outside of the fight and only had to dodge the stray snowball now and then but they tore that roof up. Sprays of snow flew up in the air as they slid into each other, wrestling and smashing white mush into each other’s faces. It was music to my ears, listening to them smack talk and laugh.

            Maybe this night wasn’t a total loss after all.


	22. Chapter 22

 

**Raphael**

                My brothers, Zoe and I stood outside the lair door hoping that Sensei was sleeping. Leo slid the door open, peeked inside and then motioned for us to follow him. As we stepped inside the unlit lair I knew, someone was up. I just hoped it was Karai or even poor sick April and Exodus.

_Maybe they were feeling better._

                The plan was to get inside and go straight to our rooms. So ignoring the sensation that someone was watching us, we did just that. But there at the foot of the stairs stood my very angry father.

                “Oh hi there Sensei, we thought we heard something and went to check it out. But everything’s fine. It was a false alarm. Ha, ha. So, uh, goodnight,” Leo smiled and took a step toward our father as if he may have just explained away what Sensei had yet to ask.

                “Do you know what time it is?” Sensei’s voice was… well… terrifying. It was low, controlled and yet hinted at the fury he would surely unleash. It through Leo off enough that he took a step back, right on to my foot.

                “Get offa me!” I yelled impulsively, shoving him so hard he fell forward towards Father.

                Master Splinter stepped to the right as Leo landed on foot of the steps with a grunt, before turning around and staring up at our fathers back.

                “Where have you been?” His voice was getting higher, and then his tail twitched, flickered and tapped the ground in a frustrated rhythm and I knew.   This was not good.

He eyed each one of us. And I felt Zoe step closer to my shell. As I glance back in her direction I realized that Mikey mashed up to Donnie, who squeezed closer to Zoe who was being shoved up against my shell.

“Explain!” He whirled around on Leo.

Leo’s blue eyes narrowed.

“Very well. To the ha-shi!”

We all groaned.

As we stepped inside I had to wonder what it would be this time and how long would we be there. What I really wanted was to go to bed. The night had been a confusing roller coaster and I wanted to sleep on it and sort it out later. We lined up against the wall waiting as Sensei began strategically placing the metal rolling stool near a plank of wood balanced on a cinder block.

I glanced at Zoe who seemed to be chewing furiously on her lip. Twice in two weeks. She had to be mad. But she looked like she wanted to say something but was having a hard time making her-self do it, but then she did.

“Sensei, I went for a walk. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going and the others came looking for me. It was my fault that we were out so late. I’m very sorry.” Her eyes were glued to the floor.

Master Splinter set down the metal stool and turned to look at her. “I see. Why did you leave without telling anyone?”

Zoe’s eyes darted over the floor and she took a deep shuddering breath. “I’m sorry Sensei, I’d rather not say.”

“Did you take care of the matter I requested of you earlier?”

“No Sir.” She closed her eyes and gnawed on her lip so much I was sure it would bleed.

“Raphael, did you take care of the matter I requested of you and Zoe?”

“No Sensei.”

“Very well, Leonardo, Donatello and Michelangelo you may go to bed. Do not be late for training this morning.”

“Yes Sensei.” They said in unison before fleeing the ha-shi.

Splinter looked at Zoe and I while tapping his fingers on his walking stick. He then walked over and picked up the roller skates from last time and handed them to me again.

My jaw hurt from clenching it so hard. I hate wearing these things. Taking the skates from my father I strapped them on my feet and looked to him for further instruction.

He taps the plank of wood that looks like a see-saw the way one end rests on the floor and the other in the sky, held up by a cinder block. I step onto the slick strip of wood that is only two inches wider than my skate covered foot. I balance myself easily.

_It could be worse. He could put a ball under it._

Splinter lifts his walking stick and points to Zoe who comes to stand before him.

_Why does he always tie our punishments together? Oh I know it’s probably got something to do with teamwork. After all we do keep getting into trouble together._

The end of the walking stick is now tapping my shins, hands and shoulders and now it’s poking Zoe in her back. “Handstand.”

_Again? Because it wasn’t torturous enough last time._

Zoe presses her lips flat and shifts her weight back and forth on the balls of feet before rolling her eyes and slipping off her shoes and jacket. Her hair was a mess where we’d pounded her with snowballs earlier. I find a smile growing on my face. _That was fun._ Now she is pulling the red locks down, smoothing them out and wrestling them in a tight knot behind her head. Now that she seems to have prepared herself she locks her gray eyes on me and my knees buckle so hard that for a second I think I might slide off the plank.

Blazing, vibrant flames her smoldering eyes are burning into me and as her hand reaches for mine there’s a small play of an upward curve at the corner of her pink lips.

_Wow. Uh, ssshe can’t look, look at mmme lllike that and expect us to ggget tthhrough thisss._

When I think it can’t get any worse, I reach for her and I find myself slipping. The plank teeters badly and the wheels of the skates roll. I scramble a bit trying to correct myself but the board tips up and I slide down, finding myself landing at Zoe’s feet on my shell.

“Raphael! This is unacceptable.” My father’s tail cracks the ground by my shoulder and I get to my feet quickly, returning to my position and trying to get myself together.

_I’ve got to do this or she could get hurt. Calm and focus. Focus…_

                I’m tempted to ask my father to just ground us. But neither of us can stand being cooped up in the lair for a week or more without getting into trouble. We barely make it through two days at a time as it is.  

                A glance at Zoe is enough to set my determination and fuel my fire. She flicks her red eyebrows up, grinning widely, her gray eyes twinkling with mischief.

                _You did that on purpose. Oh… oh you are so gonna pay._

                She licks her lips and reaches for my hand. As my fingers wrap around her palm and the skin presses together I feel a jolt slam through me. Her grip is firm and I return in like, and there trapped between us, is this intense energy and I’m fueled by it. I look at her other hand and she tilts her head as if to ask if I’m sure.

                I tilt my chin, nodding slightly. Both hands lock. It’s as if lightning is trapped between our palms as I lift her up over my head and she moves easily into her handstand. As sure as we slipped into position, Splinter taps Zoe’s knees and pokes them in opposite directions.

“Bend.”

Zoe’s a decent gymnast and does what she calls a double stag handstand, as instructed, without distress to either of us. It’s an awkward balancing act but it’s easier than last time and I realize we’re learning to respond to one another. And my father must sense this because he’s ready to up the ante much sooner this time.

“Now look.”

We both take a deep bracing breath. I’m in a deep internal debate. Do I steel myself, close myself off to her so that we don’t fall, knowing that could risk making her mad at me again. Or do I leave myself as open to her as I was earlier, as open as I think I want to be. And I wonder which of the two she will choose. As if reading our minds, the way only my father seems able to do, he answers my question for me.

“Trust one another and look.”

So we do.

I raise my chin and look up at her. Her mouth parts as a soft gasp escapes her and I feel my heart slam against my plastron as hard as it had been when I meant to kiss her on that roof. Her pupils are large black moons within silver colored irises, glossy, bright and completely open and seemingly endless. I’m breathless to what her eyes alone offer me. My gaze falls to her full pink lips and I want to know, I have to know, I’m ready to know… just how soft they are.

And I will know, right now.


	23. Chapter 23

 

**Zoe**

 

He has the most beautiful eyes of anyone I’ve ever met. The only thing that can make those heavenly, and yet devilish, green gems more so, is that softness, that willingness, the very unshielded and open door staring at me right now. I’m melting beneath the heat searing into me from this look alone. His gaze shifts to my mouth and I find my tongue inching its way across my tingling lips in response. As his mouth gravitates toward mine, I try to slow the pace of my frantically beating heart. My eyes flutter as the heat of his breath and mine intermingle, creating an electric haven between us. His lips finally meet mine in the most gentle sweeping graze and then again with slightly more pressure.

“Ahem.”

Splinters voice breaks us apart in such a jolt that Raph’s weight shifts drastically to the end of the plank, launching me up into the air and then somehow catching me in his arms where he bounces me up again and sets me down quickly beside him, then stands up straight and looks at his father with wide fearful eyes.

I’m not much better than Raph right now, standing up straight, but dazed and breathless and still trying to relive the most perfect first kiss a girl could have. Upside down, handstand, boy I’m into totally supporting me with his unyielding strength while… _Oh I should probably listen to what Master Splinter is saying to us right now. Especially since he’s looking at me._

“That is not what I had in mind when I said I wanted you to trust each other,” Sensei shook his head and looked from me to Raphael and then back again, **“** although, it does explain why you hesitated to do so.” Splinter stroked the long fur beneath his chin and I stole a glance at his tail and was surprised to find it resting peacefully wrapped around his feet.

“When did this happen?”

Neither Raph or I answer, instead we both just take a hard swallow.

Splinter closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, before looking at me. “Zoe, I do not know what it is that caused you to think you needed to leave and not tell anyone.” Now he looks at Raphael, “I do not know what it is that you both did that kept you from coming home by curfew the last time we were here.” And now his gaze is back to me, “And now I do not understand why you are not fulfilling your responsibilities. If _this_ is why then I will be forced to separate you.”

“It’s not Sensei.” We answered together.

_It’s like we planned it, but we didn’t._

“I placed you together believing that you would bring out the best in one another. Instead I am finding you both keeping secrets and being disobedient. If you continue down this path together I will have no _choice_ but to separate you, for your own safety.” Splinter lifts his chin, “Now I ask you once more, when did this happen?”

“Just now Sensei.” We say in unison.

_As the same time, again, really? How’s he doing that?_

“I see.” He strokes the long fur again, “Do not let this interfere with your responsibilities. Now, go to bed, and see that your neglected chore is your first priority after training today.”

“Yes Sensei.” We reply.

Splinter chuckles as he leaves the ha-shi.

 


	24. Chapter 24

**Zoe**

“That is disgusting!” Exodus grimaces, watching me pull everything from within the fridge and placing it on the table.

                I can feel the lump in my throat just lingering long enough that the combined smell along with the mold growing on something I can’t even name takes its place at the table of grossness.

                “Yeah, I’m trying really hard not to gag here.” I flinch and swallow.

                “Yeah and I’m tryin’ not to laugh.” Raph crosses his arms and grins.

                Using only two fingers, lightly wrapped, around the handle of a sticky, empty bottle of maple syrup from the condiment shelf I turn and deposit it in the trash. “I need a break.”

                “I can see why.” April frowned, stopping cold at the sight of the kitchen table.

                I shook my head and closed my eyes. “I’m not going to make it.”

                Raph busted out laughing.

                Ignoring him I looked at the two girls, “So you two are feeling better?”

                They both nodded.

                “Yeah, but I don’t really want to talk about it. If that’s okay.” April’s eyes asked for my acceptance and I was happy to give it to her.

                “Sure, I understand.”

                “So, Zoe what did you do to get this… job? It’s not on your chore sheet.” Raph looked over his shoulder at the chore chart on the wall, then back at me with a wicked smile.

                I bit my lip and narrowed my eyes, “Nothing, really.”

                “Oh you did something alright. You’re playing with your hair.” Karai said from the pit where she Leo and Mikey were watching a show. Two curious heads, one masked in blue, the other orange popped into view, each raising an eye ridge.

                Sure enough I was playing with my hair. I snatched my red mess into a pony-bun. “It was nothing.” I looked around, “Where’s Donatello?”

                “He’s in the lab.” April tilted her head, “Why?”

                “When Raph and I were grounded I got a little bored and might have switched the letters on the keys of his laptop.”

                “That was you?” April, Mikey, and Leo said at the same time.

                Shrugging my shoulders I grabbed the trashcan and started dropping empty and expired condiment jars into it.

                “Wait a minute… I got in trouble for that!” Mikey jumped to his feet.

                “But you didn’t do it Mikey. Remember Sensei was going to ground you but then he came to you and said that someone had confessed…” I bit my lip hoping they didn’t remember everything else from that day.

                Leo stood up and walked over and Mikey followed him. “That wasn’t the only prank from that day.”

                “No, it wasn’t and I didn’t do all of them.” I looked at floor.

                “You totally did! Zoe, my hair was greasy from someone having put baby oil in my shampoo!” Exodus stomped her foot and I tried not to laugh. ”It took a dozen washes to get it out!”

                “And when I put my sneakers on I stepped on an egg inside my shoe!” Karai stood up from the couch and gravitated towards the kitchen. “And they were my new pair!”

                “You painted my nails when I was sleeping on the couch!” Leo scowled.

                “Hey, Leo beat me up for that!” Mikey pouted for a half second before giving me a thumbs up, “That was pretty good though.”

                “Well I didn’t think so.” Leo glared at me, “We fought purple dragons that night and I realized my nails were blue.”

                “It’s you color.” I shrugged, “I thought you’d appreciate that.”

                Leo raised a threatening eye ridge.

                Raph looked at me now, “Was it you that turned Spy Roach loose in my room?”

                Everyone laughed remembering Raphael throwing open his bedroom door and running, shrieking like a girl.

                I rolled my eyes, “Don’t worry Raph, I saved you from the scary bug.”

                “Oh you are so gonna get it. How’d I get sucked into helping you for something you did to me?” Casually, he reached down for the leftover mashed potatoes and pulled the lid off. “That doesn’t seem fair Zoe.”

                “Oh no. No, no, no.” I stepped back, stumbling into Exodus.

                “Did you put the peanut butter on all of the doorknobs too?” X scowled at me.

                “No that was me!” Mikey spoke up, smiling and nodding his head proudly.

                “And what about that night when I was doin’ dishes? When I turned on the water to fill the sink, and the sprayer squirt all over me. You put the rubber-band on it didn’t you?” Raph slid his hand into the mashed potatoes and flung it at me before I could answer.

                “Ewww, gross, no! I mean no, don’t, yes I did, but don’t, ohhhh that’s so gross!” I shrieked and grabbed a miscellaneous Tupperware, ripped off the lid and flung it back at him but he jumped away, it missed and hit Leo.

                “Hey!” Leo grabbed another tub, yanked it open and flung it at me, but this time I jumped away and it hit April.

                “AHHH! What is that?” She leapt for the table grabbing the first thing she could get her hands on.

                Soon everyone was grabbing containers and throwing leftovers. I flung spaghetti at Raphael while he was throwing lasagna at Mikey, Mikey was distraught at the waste of food that was occurring and tasted the sauce dripping down his plastron.

                “Hey guys?” Donatello came around the corner in time to receive hamburger helper leftovers in the face. He identified April as the culprit and stood frozen trying to decide whether or not to retaliate.

                Exodus flung leftover chocolate cream pie at Mikey but it missed and hit Karai.

                “Exodus!” Karai hissed.

                “My pie!” Mikey screeched and scooped a glop out of Karai’s hair and ate it.

                Karai tried to duck away from him and slipped in the chocolate slop that had fallen on the floor, she flailed, grabbing at Leo with one hand and Donnie with the other. Donnie slipped in the chocolate taking Karai down with him and Leo tripped over a chair leg and onto Raph. Raph was shoving them away from him but lost his own footing in the slop and grabbed me and I in turn grabbed April who grabbed Exodus. We were all on the floor slipping and sliding and picking up heaps of food and flinging it at each other. All the while Mikey is still standing, holding the pie pan and trying to scoop out what he could to eat it.

“How is one supposed to meditate with all of this noise? What is the meaning of this?!” Splinter yelled and cracked the air with his tail.

We froze and looked at our Sensei. Each of us covered head to toe in food, not to mention the floor, the table, and the walls, and counters.

“Explain!” He glowered at us.

Everyone looked at me.

“What? How is this my fault? Raph threw food at me first!”

Raph glared at me, spaghetti noodles hanging down in his eyes.

“All of you clean this up!”

                “Yes Sensei.”

                Splinter pressed a paw over his eyes, mumbling as he walked away, “Eight teenagers.”


	25. Chapter 25

**Raphael**

I never took Zoe for a prankster. It just didn’t seem like a _Zoe_ thing to do, it was a Mikey kinda thing and even Exodus… but not Zoe. _Hmm._ She said she wasn’t the only one who pulled off a prank that day. And while Mikey confessed to peanut butter on the door knobs, he wasn’t on the receiving end of any of the gags. But he _was_ surprised when she confessed to swapping the letters on Donnie’s keyboard.

_Something isn’t making sense here._

We _were_ pretty bored that week. _How’d she even find the time to pull them off? We were together all day._

Regardless, I underestimated her.

I cracked my neck. If she were one of my brothers I’d just give her a good beat down. But she’s Zoe, the feisty little redhead that I am quickly falling for.

_Which I’m still sure is a big mistake._

I press my lips together remembering how fluttery, powder soft her mouth had been, and how the second brush had a little more fire beneath it.

_But I’m not regretting that._

_Well maybe the part where it happened in front of my father, but other than that it was a pretty awesome first kiss._

I shook my head, clearing it of the fog that was Zoe.

No matter what her reasoning was, or how into her I am, bottom line is…

She stuck a cockroach in my room and she had to pay.

 

 


	26. Chapter 26

**Zoe**

Pulling my pale pink and white polka dotted blanket up to my chin, I rubbed my fingers together trapping the soft fabric between them. Remembering the events of “prank day” were amusing but everyone now knew what I’d done and I was surely going to be the victim of retaliation… I bunched up the fabric, wringing and twisting it then letting it slide between my fingers, only to begin again. _That made the idea of getting out of bed this morning... terrifying…_ A cursory glance at the alarm clock on Karai’s nightstand said I had hours left to worry about it.

The whole thing could’ve been blamed on Michelangelo. It was after all him that gave me the idea….

 

_“What ya readin’ Z?’ Mikey plopped down on the football shaped beanbag next to me. His brilliant blue eyes alight with curiosity._

_Having Mikey in such close proximity was like having all of my burdens shielded from me. My whole world brightened with a single smile from the playful turtle. I held the book out for him to see. “Beautiful Creatures, it’s one of my favorite books. Ugh. But don’t get me started on the darn movie. It didn’t do the story justice. I hate it when they don’t stay true to a character and they just messed Ridley all up.”_

_Mikey’s mask bunched over his head, “Is this a chick flick? I don’t remember it.”_

_I roll my eyes, “Mikey read the book.” As I hand it to him he takes it and flips through the pages before handing it back to me._

_“It doesn’t have any pictures.” He frowns, “Why would you do this to yourself?”_

_Raising a hand to my face, I shake my head, “And you want to go to high school.”_

_“Well yeah, that would be awesome! I could make so many friends.” He leans over, practically invading the red bean bag I’m occupying._

_“Mike, what are you doing?”_

_His eyes dart around guiltily. “Huh, I dunno what you mean.”_

_A single red eyebrow rises skeptically, “Michelangelo, what are you doing?”_

_The orange masked terrapin sits up, shoving his hands under his seat, a light pink cast glowing across his freckled face. “Oh, all right, you got me. I uh, I’m wiping peanut butter off my hands.”_

_I lean toward him, “wiping it onto what?”_

_His eye ridges raise and he flashes me his best “forgive me” face._

_“Mikey,” I purse my lips and nod, “your wiping your hands on the beanbag I’m sitting on, aren’t ya?”_

_A peanut buttery fingered hand rests on my shoulder, “Yeah, sorry Z.”_

_Now biting my lip, I close my eyes, count to ten and look at him, “Mike, now your wiping peanut butter on my shoulder.”_

_He nods, “Yeah. Sorry bout’ that too.”_

_Another deep breath helps. Actually when things involve Mikey, lots of deep breaths tend to be necessary. “Mike. Go wash your hands. The kitchen is right there. Right there Mikey.”_

_“HHHHHoohghghgh, pshhhh, sheewwww, hhhoggh.”_

_I glance over Mikey’s shoulder to Raphael who’s sprawled across the steps to the pit, snoring, with one arm over his eyes, the other hanging open to his side. I roll my eyes, look at Mikey and slump back in the beanbag with a sigh._

_“Bored, huh?” He flashes me a sympathetic smile while casually continuing to smear peanut butter on my shoulder._

_“Mike.”_

_“Yeah Z?”_

_“Stop it!” I swipe at him playfully._

_“Lighten up Zoe, you could use a little fun.” He’s laughing but I see a hint of sincerity in his eyes._

_“What do you mean? I’m fun.” My feelings are a little hurt. I mean I don’t think I’m boring. I have been going through some stuff with Raph though. Trying to sort out all of these feelings and even worse, ignoring them._

_“You can be. But lately you’re,” Mikey drapes his spring green arm around my shoulder, “kinda grumpy like… You. Know. Who.” He glances at Raph who snorts in his sleep._

_My stomach knots up, then dips and flutters, and I feel like I’m stuck on a roller coaster. One named Raphael._

_“You know what, you’re right Mikey.” I grab his peanut butter covered hand and remove it from my shoulder, “and you just gave me a great idea.”_

Yeah, he gave me a great idea. That is until he got in trouble for things he didn’t do and I felt guilty watching him being reprimanded. Poor, sweet guy was clueless as to why everyone was so upset with him. It was only peanut butter as far as he knew. I had to go to Sensei and confess.

My punishment was cleaning the refrigerator. The dirty, disgusting, I don’t even know what that stuff was I washed out of my hair after the food fight, but it was a miracle I didn’t get sick.

And now here I am, completely busted, knowing they will make me pay dearly, if not one at a time, as a team or some mix thereof. Yanking the blanket up over my head I peek towards Karai’s bed. Having Karai mad at you is not a fun thing, I thought as I massaged my tender left bicep. But she usually just makes you pay for your mistakes in the dojo. So I’m pretty sure we’re squared away. Raph was pretty mad that we lost sparring to Karai and Leo, up until my arm was injured. But losing that match seemed to satisfy Leo too. So I don’t think I have to worry about the two of them.

I lift my gaze to the bunk above me. _There’s no way, I’m not getting away without a retaliation prank by that one._ I sighed. Exodus enjoyed a good joke as much as Mikey, but not so much when she was on the receiving end. _I just hope I don’t end up bald for having messed with her hair._

So I didn’t prank Mikey and could be safe there (not that he needed a reason to get in on the action). I was squared away with Karai and Leo. X was going to get me one way or another and April wasn’t here that day so nothing coming my way from her. That leaves Donatello and Raphael.

Donnie isn’t really a jokester and when I switched the letters on his keyboard it only threw him off for all of fifteen seconds at most. Mostly because Donnie could type without looking, but he was working on an experiment and keying in the numbers for an equation. He had to keep using the number pad and since he was distracted by his task… Well he got confused as to why the numbers he pressed weren’t appearing on the screen…. And then… let’s just say the distraction caused a small explosion. A small one… _Really it was just a tiny one._

So, even if he doesn’t get back at me with a joke, I need to do something to make it up to him because he’s pretty mad at me, especially since he’d gone after Mikey for it. _I need to think on that one…_

And there’s Raphael. It’s no secret that it’s easy to make Raph angry. But I had to play him carefully. I couldn’t tease him. That was very clear… I didn’t want him to know that I’d done it, I wasn’t even really good at these little gags I’d indulged in. The easiest way to get a laugh at his expense, would be to make him mad but not hurt his feelings, thus Spyroach came into play.

While he was sleeping I grabbed the little guy from Donnie’s lab, opened Raph’s bedroom door and let him in. I had hoped that he would just think the roach got loose. And he did. Problem with that was that got Donatello yelled at. Not helping my current situation with Donnie any.

The kitchen sink though, that was beautiful. I didn’t even care if he did notice I did that one. I thought for sure he’d recognize my rubber-band wrapped around the nozzle. _Hee, hee._ _I may even do that one again today. The look on his face when the water sprayed him was just… perfect._

Just as I realized my “for Raph only” smile was on my face, I felt something moving on my bed. I tucked the edge of the blanket below my chin, peeked down towards my toes and stiffened. “Wwwwhhaaa AHHHHHHH! Oh my, get it off! Oh my, AHHHH!” I threw the blanket toward the eight legged invader, drawing my legs up under me and barely missed busting my head on the bunk above me.

“What? What is it?!” Exodus flew off the bed, landing on the floor next to me right as I sprang from it onto her, still shrieking. “What, what is it Zoe?”

Karai leapt from the bed, pulling a tonto from beneath her pillow and adopted a fighting stance.

“There’s a spider in my bed!” I screamed and Karai dropped the tonto and threw back the blanket where the freaked arachnid leapt onto the floor by our feet. All three of us are screaming now. The bedroom door flies open and Leo, Donnie and Mikey rush in, armed and ready to fight. Exodus, Karai and I are climbing up one another trying to get our feet off the floor.

“Get it! Get it Donatello! Get it!” Exodus screeches, clawing the back of my head.

“Get off me horse girl, I can’t see anything!” I try to move for Karai’s bed to at least get my feet off the floor but I fall into Karai instead and with Exodus attached to my face we all crash into Karai’s bed still yelling.

“Everybody stop moving you’re going to step on him!” Mikey pleaded.

“Don’t call me horse girl!” Exodus snaps, releasing her death grip from my head. She untangles herself from me and Karai is untangling herself from both of us.

I look up in time to see Leo and Donnie trying to corner the spider but it runs under the bunk bed. “Well he’ll come out eventually.” Donatello says standing up and looking at me.

“Uh no. You guys get him now.” Karai stood up on the bed, crossing her arms.

“It’s just a little spider Karai,” Leo smirked, rubbing the back of his bald head.

Raph leans against the doorway, arms crossed and knowing green eyes flashing. “ _So_ , what’s goin’ on in here?”

Mikey looks from his brother to me and back.

My jaw is clenched, my blood boiling like a car about to overheat. “You did this Raphael, didn’t you?” I step off the bed, right past Leo and Donnie and jab my finger in his plastron. “You put a spider in my bed!”

He grabs my finger but instead of applying pressure to it, as he would his brothers, he gently pushes my hand away, and grins crookedly, “and _you_ put a cockroach in my room.”

I smack the back of my hand against his arm, “It could’ve bit me! Cockroaches don’t bite!”

“Actually the Chilean Rose Tarantula is very-”

“Not now Donatello!” I snap, never taking my eyes off his red masked brother.

“Oh, there he is! There he is!” Mikey squeals, sending Karai and Exodus back into a fit of shrieks.

I look away from Raphael to follow Michelangelo’s gaze.

“Where? Where is he?” As Leo spins around it becomes abundantly clear to everyone in the room where the spider is.

“Uh, Leo-” Mikey points to his brother.

“What? Where? I don’t see it.” Leo suddenly freezes as the spider crawls steadily from Leo’s shell, up his neck and onto his head. “Get him off. Someone get him off me.”

“Why it’s just a little spider Leo.” Karai mocks him.

Donatello reaches out a hand to get the eight legged creature but it leaps toward the bed where Karai and Exodus are. They launch themselves in different directions, shrieking. Karai tackles Leo and Exodus lands against Michelangelo, the momentum sends him crashing into the bunk.

“Someone get a container for it.” Donatello says turning to glare at me.

“What? Donnie, I didn’t release the darn thing. Why’s everyone always looking at me?” I scowl at Raphael, “Get out of the way so I can go get a box for your new pet.”

“Let me outta here!” Exodus moves to leave but slams into my back as I’m frozen in place just outside the bedroom door.

Karai runs straight into Exodus’ back with a grunt. “Why aren’t you… _oh_.”

“What’s wrong Karai?” Leo’s eyes widen as he looks around Raph and out the bedroom door.

“Leonardo. Do you know what time it is?” Splinters voice silences the commotion coming from the bedroom.

Sometimes I feel sorry for Leo, especially if he’s around when any of the rest of us get into trouble. He ends up having to give the initial explanation and he next to never turns in a guilty party.

“No Sensei.” Leo answers.

“It is three in the morning. I cannot sleep for all of this noise. What, is happening _now_?” Splinter is enunciating even more than usual, there is even extra emphasis to certain words. This is even more terrifying than him yelling. I glance at the ever dependable _tell_ … his tail. _Flick, tap, flick, tap._

It hasn’t been twenty four hours since the kitchen fiasco. I bite my lip and tug on a strand of hair, watching the exchange between Leo and Splinter.

“Uh there’s a spider loose in the girls’ room. It’s kind of big.” Leo said as casually as if he were about to have afternoon tea.

Splinter’s furry brow rose as he scanned each of our faces.         

Mikey tried to help, “But he’s not as big as Spider Bites, and not poisonous.”

“You mean venomous.” Donatello corrected from within the safety of the bedroom.

“Not now Brainiac.” Raph snapped.

“Catch the insect. Go to bed. We will deal with the repercussions of this disturbance at a more reasonable hour of the morning. And do _not_ make another sound.”

“Spiders are not actually insects they-”

“Not now Donnie!”

 

 

               

 


	27. Chapter 27

**Raphael**

Sensei is standing in the middle of the dojo with his tail curled around his feet, the tip twitching and tapping in a steady rhythm. There’s an air of danger radiating off my father and there’s a knot in my stomach from worrying about what form of discipline he has devised. I tighten the tails of my mask and glance around the room.

We’re all present and we’re all silent. Donatello was asked to call April and for her to come as soon as possible this morning because Master Splinter wanted to speak with all of us. He was told to assure her that it was not an emergency but that she would be affected by this morning’s discussion and therefore her presence was requested. That was all we knew. The anonymity alone had April here before breakfast. So here we are boys on one side, opposite the girls on the other, waiting for him to speak.

Splinter stroked the long fur under his chin. “The past few days have been,” he looked at each of us, “eventful.”

None of us moved, I didn’t think that we even dared to look at each other. But Donatello knelt next to me, radiating a fury that was usually reserved for me. Stealing a glance in his direction, then following his gaze, shown me to be wrong, one of us _was_ looking at another. He was glaring at Zoe as if he had plenty to say to her.

“It seems that you are having some difficulty staying out of mischief. As such I have decided that you are not busy enough. I am adding an hour of training to your day, moving curfew up one hour, and switching your partners. Also, April’s father will be by this evening. We will discuss enrolling Karai, Zoe and Exodus into high school.”

“What?!” We all yelped.

_Well that’s just great. We’re finally starting to get along, heck, better than get along, and now he wants to separate us. And what am I supposed to do with an even shorter curfew? Hold on, send Zoe to school? Wonderful, now I know how Donnie feels. There’s plenty of human boys there. Ugh. I should’ve stuck with my first instinct and just stayed away from her. Crap._

“This is all Zoe’s fault!” Exodus shrieked, absolutely distraught. I hated it that at least three heads in the room nodded in agreement.

Zoe was perfectly still, a deep crimson blush spread over her face.  

Sensei rapped his walking stick on the floor. “Enough.” He scowled at us, “Be responsible for your own behaviors. Do not blame someone else for them. Each of you chose to engage in the recent misdeeds. This is a one week punishment. Mr. Oneil and I are simply discussing the option of the girls attending high school.”

“Sensei, can we not just be warned with this as possible repercussion and be on our best behavior?” Leo attempted to negotiate with our father, something that was a risk in itself.

“Leonardo and Exodus you are partners for the week, please pair off to warm up.” Sensei ignored Leo’s request, instead pointing to X.

The teary eyed blonde shuffled to Leo’s side and he smiled at her apologetically.

“Michelangelo and April, Raphael and Karai, Donatello and Zoe,” Sensei called the names of each pair and all of us moved obediently to our temporary partners. “Now begin your warm up and embrace your partners, as you will be spending all of your time together for the next week.”

“What?!” We said in unison.

“Sensei, do you mean that we cannot spend our free time with everyone else on our team?” Leo looked horrified.

“You will patrol together, other than that no. You will spend all of your time with your assigned partner.”

“But we’re so different! I’m not going to spend all of my time conditioning!” Karai glowered at me.

“Yeah, well I’m not going to spend all my time reading Princess!” I snapped at her.

“I’m not going to spend all my time playing video games, no offense Mikey.” April frowned at him.

Mikey gave her a sympathetic smile, “S’okay April.”

“I’m sorry Leo but I don’t want to train an extra two hours a day either.” Exodus shook her head and looked at Mikey with shining eyes. Mikey frowned at her.

“Well I don’t want Zoe anywhere near my lab.” Donnie blurted out.

Zoe hadn’t moved or said a word. She just closed her eyes.

Sensei’s tail cracked the air and we all stopped speaking. “Warm up. Train. Eat breakfast. Train. Eat lunch. Condition. Train. Eat dinner. Patrol. Play with whatever time is left before curfew, with your partner. Then do your chores and go to bed. Today is Monday. Your punishment ends Friday at this time. Another word on the matter, you will find me considering this to be a more permanent arrangement.”

With that we fell silent, each of us glancing at our regular partners one last time before warming up. Only Zoe wouldn’t look at me. There was an uncomfortable tightness in the center of my plastron. We never got to talk about what happened between us and since then we’ve had a food fight and I’ve left a massive spider in her bed.

I’m not sure where we stand right now.

_Great._


	28. Chapter 28

**Zoe**

_Maybe I’m just not meant to be here._ I rub my eyes with my palms. _I’ve caused so much trouble in such a small amount of time._ I can feel Raphael’s eyes on me for a brief moment, but I can’t look at him. _I just want to go back to bed… but not until I’ve checked it thoroughly for spiders._

_Oh the mess I’ve made._

We haven’t had a real, private, conversation about our kiss.

_Hmm, that perfect first kiss._

What we have done, is get into a steady pattern of trouble together and the truth is, it’s my fault.  

_What is wrong with me?_

And here I am paired with the turtle that is furious with me right now. It takes a lot to make Donatello mad. I mean he’s kinda high-strung but he tends to blow up and get over it pretty quick. I drag myself off the floor and step alongside him to warm up. He started without me. His movements are short and tight, matching the energy he’s radiating.

I don’t think the dojo has ever been this quiet… well maybe when it was empty.

Obviously, Donnie’s not the only one mad at me right now. Exodus had blurted out that this was all my fault and Karai had agreed. _It’s so relaxing to bunk with people who are mad at you (said no one ever)._

Breakfast was as silent as warm up. I think Splinter was enjoying the peace but not so much the tension and mix of glaring and longing looks exchanged at the table. Maybe by the end of this he’ll appreciate our usually playful banter more.

_Time to train…_

“Zoe, Donatello.” Splinter has decided that we should spar first.

I stand before an angry Donatello. His normally soft eyes are as hard as the golden red-brown stone they resemble. Before I can even take a stance, a bo-staff whirls toward my head. _Gees, Donnie!_ I duck and he spins around, going for a jab. I flip away then release my tessen launching it at his plastron. It’s not my intention to hurt him, just to get some space. It was a wasted move and even worse I no longer had one of my two weapons.

Donatello advances and his staff strikes my knuckles. “Ow, Donnie!” I drop my second tessen and grab my hand. His strike flows into an attempt to sweep my legs but he finds himself abruptly disarmed when Raphael jumps between us, grabbing his brother’s weapon and snapping it in two.

“Raphael!” Splinter reprimands him.

“Back off Donnie,” Raph growls, ignoring his father.

Donatello looks shocked, “That was an accident! I thought she,” he looks from Raph to me, “I thought you had that.”

I step in between them and look at Raph, “I’m fine. I’ve got this.” Raph’s nostrils are flaring, his lip curled in a snarl. He looks at me and his face softens, yet his eyes dart back to his brother in warning. “Raph, please.” His gaze falls to my busted knuckles and he glares at his brother.

Taking a deep breath and still standing between them I glance over to Splinter, “Sensei may Donatello and I be excused please?”

“Yes, Zoe. I think that is a good idea.” Splinter nods and I look at Raph, gently brushing my fingers down his arm and savoring the spark that travels up my own, spreading throughout me, warming me from the inside.

With a glance at Donatello, who hands his broken staff to our Sensei, we leave the dojo.

“We should talk Donnie.”

“Where?” He says curtly.

“Wherever you want, kitchen, lab, you decide.”

“Lab.”

 _I thought you didn’t want me in your lab._ Usually I’d call someone out for actions conflicting with their words but I’m teetering on an all out yelling match with the purple clad terrapin and so I opt to keep my mouth shut.

I follow him to his lab, careful not to touch anything. Aside from getting patched up or being invited in for some reason, we really try to stay out of his space. He points to a black office chair, which I sit in without argument. Then he reaches into a metal supply cabinet and pulls out a first aid kit, before pointing to my hand.

“Donnie, you don’t have to-”

“It’s part of what I do Zoe. I fix things, I can’t believe I did that,” he shook his head, his purple mask bunching over his eyes. “I really thought you had it.”

“It was an accident Donnie, they happen. And you’re right, all of this _is_ my fault,” I bury my face in my hands and sigh.

Donatello reaches out, gently wrapping his large green fingers around my wrist and lowering my wounded hand to rest on a small mobile metal table. As he applies antiseptic I hiss and clench my teeth.

“You snuck into my lab, stole Spy Roach, messed with my computer, caused an explosion, got Mikey beat up by me and then me beat up by Raph-” Donnie’s fingers stopped moving and he glared at me, “and now, a shorter curfew, and a partner switch.” He shook his head, “I’m crazy about April. I may as well have been grounded from seeing her, for the punishment Master Splinter laid down on us today.” He reached for an antibiotic cream and coated my knuckles before wrapping them.

“I never meant for any of this to happen Donnie. I’m sorry.” Pulling my hand into my lap, I stare at my palms. “What can I do, to make it right?”

Donatello sighs, “Sensei is right Zoe, we all chose to react the way we did. Yeah, all of this started with you but it ended with us and our own actions.” He frowned, “I’m really sorry about your knuckles.”

“I’m sorry I did all of those things. Can you forgive me, please?” I look at him, and find myself throwing my arms around him before he can even answer me. The thought of any of them being mad at me stung worse than my busted knuckles. “I never meant for any of this.” I mumbled into his plastron.

I was relieved when I looked up at him, to find the hardness in his eyes had warmed to a soft honey-gold. My heart was as soothed as if I had a warm blanket wrapped around me when he leaned forward to hug me back.

“Can anyone stay mad at you Zoe?”

Releasing him, I laughed, “Oh, the answer to that is a hardcore yes, definitely. I just don’t want it to be anyone here. You guys are the closest thing I’ve ever come to having a family.”

Donnie seemed moved by my comment, smiling so wide the gap in teeth was visible. The corners of my mouth turned up slightly but I looked away, unsure of my place. _Was I family to them and if not, would I ever be?_

“What’s with Raph getting all protective of you all the sudden?” Donatello’s brow lifted, his grin never faltering as awaited my reaction.

 _Is it hot in here?_ I wiggled uncomfortably under his scrutiny. _I’m sure my face is as red as a cherry tomato right now._

I shrugged in a feeble attempt to be nonchalant, “We’ve gotten closer since being partnered and then grounded together.” I bit my lip, “I guess we’re not stuck with each other anymore.”

“Wow. You look disappointed Zoe.” Donnie tilted his head to the side, eyeing me thoughtfully, as he put away his first aid kit. “I thought you two wanted your freedom.”

“Of course,” I mumbled, tugging my hair down from its rubber-band and playing with a lock. _I’m sure he’s thrilled to not be stuck with me anymore._

 _I guess we’ll find out if our feelings were real or just because we were stuck together._ I sigh.

“What’s wrong Zoe?” Donnie frowned as he opened a second cabinet, pulling out another bo-staff.

“Nothing.” _Great, now I’m a liar._ _Karai is what’s wrong._ _What if Raph realizes he has feelings for her?_ It’s not like Exodus is his type at all. She’s so bouncy and girly. But Karai is tough, cool, sassy and fierce. All qualities that Raphael himself possesses. There’s a good chance that she could weasel her way into his heart. I’m just hoping she feels about Leo the way he feels about her.  

“Zoe?”

“Yeah, Donnie?”

“Let’s go finish practice. If everyone sees that we’re fine, they won’t ask questions later.” He turns to leave.

“Okay.” I stand up, “Oh, hey Donnie, can you look at my T-Phone? It got knocked to the floor in the spider disaster last night and now it’s not working right and the screen is cracked.”

“Sure, leave it there on the table. I’ll get to it this afternoon.”

“Thanks.”

XXX

 

 

**Patrol**

**Zoe**

As we climb from the manhole and step onto the snow covered asphalt I’m already running my mouth. “Guys I am not soaring over rooftops.”

You’d think after all the trouble we’d been in, that I caused, that I’d keep my mouth shut, but no. And this time, it’s for good reason. I have no intention of spraining an ankle, or worse.       F i

Leo is staring at me, while Mikey slips the rusty cover back over the manhole. “It’s too dangerous for you to be running around down here at street level Zoe.”

“I’m not leaping rooftops, Leo.” I cross my arms and glare at him. Shivering, I stomp my feet and add, “Besides it’s freezing down here, I can’t imagine how much worse it is up there.”

“I really don’t want to either.” Karai pulls the hood up on her jacket and looks at me, “even if I am mad at Zoe, I’d still rather walk down the street with her than climb around up there pretending to be a monkey.”

I offer her a peace smile and she glares at me. My stomach plummets. _Great, something tells me I have another beat down coming from her._

“I’m madder at Zoe than Karai, and even I’m willing to stay down here and walk with her.” Exodus peeks at Leo, from beneath her faux fur trimmed hood, with her most animated pleading eyes.

 _Oh, gag, me with your stupid “poor me, I’m innocent” charms._ _Besides they don’t usually work on Leo. Well they don’t work for Mikey, anyway._ I bite back a chuckle that thankfully goes unnoticed.

“I’m _not_ mad at Zoe and I’d like to walk at street level too Leo.” April’s offers me the first sincere smile I’ve had all day and I want to hug her.

“Fine,” Leo relents, “the four of you stick together down here and we’ll track you from above. If we see anything we’ll call you. If you see anything you call us.” Leo’s cobalt blue eyes skim over each of us before he adds, “And Karai is in charge down here. You girls do whatever she says.”

My eyes flicker to Raphael’s face and he looks heavenward, as if he’s as bored with Leo’s talking as I am. I feel the smile spreading across my face. I’d like to spend some time with him and I’m sure the girls with their guys. But I’m not willing to risk an injury that could keep me down, and they won’t stay on the streets for long, so we must part. After all, I still have medicine missions to run on Thursdays and Hunter won’t care if I’m hurt or not, I just can’t risk it.

“Uh, Zoe, we’re walking.” April tugs on my arm and I realize the guys are already scaling a nearby fire escape.

Briefly, I watch the tails of Raphael’s mask flickering against his shell in the moonlight. _Hmmm._

“Zoe,” April drags me along and reluctantly I follow her.

“I miss Mikey,” Exodus whines, her gaze lifting to the roofline. Then she glares at me over her shoulder, “I’m so mad at you Zoe. I haven’t been this mad at you since you stole Hunter away from-”

_Not this again._

I stopped walking, throwing my arms in the air as I yelled at her, “for the millionth time Exodus I did not _steal_ him. I never wanted him, I never pursued him. And if anything, Hunter moving on from you was for the best!”

She whirled and took a swipe at me, “I liked him! How do you get to say what’s good for me and what’s not Zoe?”

I blocked her and she swung again, kicking up snow as she advanced on me, “Stop it X. You knew his reputation. I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

Her lipstick pink mouth was drawn back in a thin line, her blue eyes hard like marbles. With fists swinging she executed a combination attack and I realized she was working me back into an alley.

“Knock it off girls.” Karai warned us. I hear her T-Phone ringing, “Yes, Leo. I know that. Yep. Don’t know what to tell you. Well Exodus wants a piece of Zoe and from the- uh oh, she just kicked her in the side of the- oh- that is not- whoa, _yeah_ , you _may_ want to get down here.”

Block, block, block, and then she made contact. Her darn foot swiped the side of my head and briefly I saw lights flash through my head. “Seriously, X! Seriously, you just kicked me in the head!” I stumbled back, clenching my teeth as I glared at her.

“Wait till you see what I do next.” She hissed, leaping into the air, her foot coming at my face. Reaching up I grabbed it and jerked her toward the ground to my right. She landed on her side with a grunt then popped up and spun around before trying to sweep my legs. I jumped away and we continued our battle of will and fists.

“What is _your_ problem? It was baby oil in your hair. It was a joke.” I grunted and punched her in her shoulder. _She’s my friend, I don’t actually want to hurt her. She’s my friend and I don’t want to hurt her…_ I chanted this mantra in my head while blocking her next advance.

“It’s crap in my hair, it’s messing with Hunter, it’s getting Mikey and I separated. Can’t you just stay out of my business?” She moved to attack my torso and I blocked her while executing a successful leg sweep.

The blonde’s feet went up in the air and she smacked her back against a brick wall before bouncing on her butt in a pile of old ice crusted snow.

“Do something Karai!” April yelped.

“I said knock it off!” Karai yelled at us.

But as Exodus got to her feet and set to pounce, I saw no end in sight.

 


	29. Chapter 29

**Raphael**

We took turns running along the edge of the roofline, tracking the girls, while the other two of us scanned ahead and another watched the other side of the buildings. We had to keep backtracking because they took forever at the pace they walked along.

It was freezing out, the ground still held at least a foot of snow and the air stung my lungs. I almost didn’t mind not running at full hilt, I hated to both sweat and gasp cold air, it was just plain uncomfortable.

“Uh oh,” Mikey squeaked as he glanced over the edge of the roof, “that’s not good.”

Donnie ran closest to Mikey and screeched to a halt, “Oh that _was_ close.”

Leo’s head snapped in their direction, “What’ve we got Dragons or Foot?”

“Worse.” Mikey swallowed.

“Well what is it?” I snapped coming alongside him and taking a peek.

“Exodus attacking Zoe,” Mikey frowned.

“Whoa.” My feet stopped of their own accord as I watched Exodus land a kick to the side of Zoe’s head and somehow the determined red-head stayed on her feet. I grinned with pride. _That’s my girl. Well, maybe my girl._

The four of us stood in a row, watching the girls attack, and counter attack. Karai was yelling at them. Leo stood next to me and pulled out his T-Phone. “Karai, Exodus and Zoe are fighting. Did you tell them to stop? Why are they fighting? Fine, we’re on our way.”

“That is so hot.” Mikey gasped, his mouth hanging open.

“Yeah, it is.” I said, watching as Zoe countered and blocked Exodus, clearly trying not to hurt her friend. But I could see the frustration building. Zoe wore a determined, pinched expression on her face, and her moves were slowly becoming more aggressive.

Mikey was right, these two beautiful girls executing near perfect attacks, one in a fury that was unusual for her and the other trying to hold onto a cool that was quickly slipping away, was unbelievably hot. _The only thing that could make it better was if they weren’t wearing jackets, that and if there wasn’t that darn spray of snow they kept kicking up blocking my view._

“Should we break it up?” Donatello turned his head thoughtfully, watching the two girls swipe, kick and block.

Finally after taking a second hit to the head, Zoe’s hand shifted in preparation for a pressure point attack. It was a slight change, one you wouldn’t notice if you didn’t know her. But after sparring with Zoe for the past month, I knew full well, when she switched to pressure points she wasn’t playing. There’d be no more holding back.

“Uh, Leo, did you see that?” Donnie flinched.

“Sure, did, let’s move guys, that fights about to get real.”

 

 


	30. Chapter 30

**Zoe**

“I have had it with this crap Horse Girl!” I swiped my forearm at her temple and with a solid thwack I struck to the side of her blonde eyebrow.

The taller girl whirled and stumbled backward and I thought she was going to quit. Watching to see if she was okay, I grit my teeth when she regained composure and came at me again.

“Don’t call me Horse Girl!” She screamed, lunging at me.

We were entangled now, she was getting tired and I was getting sick of her.

Suddenly two green arms snatched me up into a vice like hold, ripping us apart. One look at Exodus showed me that Michelangelo was holding her. A glance at my surroundings placed Donatello next to April and Leo was between X and me. _So Raph has me._ I quit trying to fight him and he set me to my feet but did not release me.

“What is going on here?” Leo waved a hand at each of us.

“I’m sick of her messing with my life! If she’d just mind her own business-” Spittle flew from Exodus mouth as she struggled against Mikey, still trying to get to me.

“What are you talking about? As far as we know, Zoe put some baby oil in your shampoo bottle, that’s it.” Leo rubbed his face with his hand.

“She knows what she did.” Exodus hissed, her blonde eyebrows drawn in a tight arc over her gleaming blue eyes. “She stole him from me.”

I closed my eyes, “Exodus, what did you want, did you want him to hurt you? Because he would’ve,” Raising a hand to my face I rubbed my eyes and swallowed my anger, determined to mellow out and stay cool until I’d made her understand.

“Is this something that happened before you girls came here?” Leo wanted badly to mediate but he couldn’t, he had no idea what was going on.

Exodus bared her teeth, snarling through them, “He loved me and you took him away.”

“Let me go Raphael,” I tugged against him but he did loosen his grip, “I’m not going to hurt her, I just need to touch her.”

“Leo?” I felt Raph’s head turn in the direction of his brother to consult.

“Fine, just be ready.” Leo waved a hand then glanced around as if remembering we were in the middle of an alleyway and making a lot of noise. “And girls, fix this quick. We’re exposed.”

Raph loosened his hold on me and I came to stand before Exodus, looking in her eyes and laying a hand on her smooth, porcelain perfect cheek. Blocking her emotions, which she was displaying so clearly with hisses and snarls, I fed her mine instead, talking to her at the same time.

“Exodus, he _hurt_ me, he made me do things,” my eyes welled as I shared the ache in my heart with her, “he controls people X, he’s dangerous, and you, you are a good person,” my voice dropped to a whisper, “so very good.” I swallowed the lump in my throat, “You deserve better than that.” I glanced over her shoulder into Mikey’s worried blue eyes, “And I think you have better holding you in his arms right now. So please, forgive me for hurting you, leave our past behind us. We’re so close to everything we’ve ever wanted X, I know it. I can feel it.”

Exodus’ blue eyes brimmed, her lip quivering, “Why? Why would you let someone hurt you like that Zoe? And what aren’t you telling me?”

“Because I’m not you X. And I’d never stand by and let someone do those things to you. I’d do anything for you… even if you hated me for it,” my gaze shifted from her eyes to the wall behind her.

“You can let me go Mikey,” she said softly. As he released her she swept me into a hug and cried softly into my shoulder. I held her, smoothing her blonde locks soothingly as she wept. “I’m sorry Zoe,” she sniffed, “I should’ve trusted you.”

“Well it looked bad, I’m sure. I would’ve hated me too.”

She pulled back suddenly, searching my eyes, “You’re still seeing him.”

All heads turned to me. I flinched under the scrutiny and my stomach dropped when in the next second it got worse.

“Is this the guy you keep meeting by the docks?” Raph interjected from behind me, his voice edged with irritation.

“You’re meeting Hunter at the docks?” Karai blurted out, her brown eyes wide with disbelief. “Zoe, why?”

“I’m not going to discuss this.” I looked to the sky exhaling deeply, my breath floating upward, vanishing into the night, and for a second I envied the air and its ability to disappear so easily.

“Obviously this is a long talk to be had, but it can’t be done in the street. So either we pick a rooftop or we head home.” Leo pointed to the nearest rooftop.

“Rooftop,” Exodus, Karai and Raphael said at the same time.

“I just want to go home.” I groaned.

“I’m gonna say rooftop, too Zoe.” Leo frowned at me, crossing his arms, “Team vote?”

“Rooftop.”

 


	31. Chapter 31

**Raphael**

Zoe leaned against the dingy utility closet, her arms crossed tightly over her chest. Her hair was mashed down by a fuzzy multi-color crochet hat with an obnoxious puffball at the top of it. It didn’t really fit her personality, but that was just my opinion. _And yet she still looks cute in it, all fire and fluff._ It had come off during the fight and before we made our way up here, she’d fished it out of the snow, shook it off and tugged it furiously down over her head. _Even her pouty lip is adorable…_

We’ve kind of surrounded her and each of us has a different posture with her. Leo’s is his classic, arms crossed, feet apart, standing right across from her with his bandana tails whipping around in the frigid air. I’m pretty sure he’s going to demand answers to a whole string of questions.

Karai is right beside him, only she has one gloved hand on her hip. Her mouth keeps moving but no words are coming out, then she bites her lip and turns an odd shade of red before her mouth starts again. _Careful there Princess, you might erupt._

Exodus is shivering badly, while biting her fingertips through her gloves. She’s gone from crazy blonde back to timid Barbie so fast even I had whiplash. _I don’t know how Mikey deals with her drama._ Speaking of Mikey, he’s openly cuddling with her, trying to make it look like he’s helping her keep warm, but it’s obvious by the way he’s got his arms wrapped around her and she keeps nuzzling her cheek against the side of his face that there’s more going on. _Pathetic._

Donnie is standing awkwardly behind April, kind of shielding her from the bitter coldness of the wind, but still not knowing where he stands with her he keeps his hands to himself.

_And even though I don’t want to, I know how he feels._

My arms are crossed over my plastron, just like Leo’s. In fact I’m standing on his other side. Truth is I want to know once and for all who this Hunter guy is. And was she telling me the truth or is she with this dude? If she lied to me, I’m through with her. I’m not okay with lying and cheating and I’m sure as heck not some sidebar experiment.

“Spill it Zoe,” Karai’s soft features where fraught with tension, as she pointed a gloved finger at Zoe.

Zoe flinched and rubbed her eyes with a gloved hand before moving it back to her forehead where she kind of shielded her face from us. “Where do you want me to start?”

“I want to know who this guy is and if your with him or not!” I blurt out.

Everyone turned to look at me and I realized that I was making my feelings for Zoe very obvious. And in that moment, as cold as it was, I felt so hot it was like I was standing in the middle of a dessert next to a bonfire.

Donatello scoffed, “Not going to be me, huh.”

April glanced at Donnie over her shoulder and he blushed horribly.

I glared at him before turning my attention back to Zoe, “Well?”

She didn’t look up from the cover of her hand, “I’m not with him you guys. I work for him.”

_Oh._

_Wait a minute, how many bosses kiss their employees cheeks and play with their hair?_ As I remembered him brushing his leg against hers, him pressing his mouth against her cheek and stroking her hair, I could now see what I hadn’t before. Her body language was _away_ from him at all times, her gaze, the cross of her legs, the set of her mouth, and the turn of her shoulders. _She hated it, she maybe even hated him._

“Zoe!” Karai and Exodus exclaimed.

Karai shot Exodus a look that closed the blondes gaping mouth, then she closed the distance between her and Zoe. “Did you just say that you are working for Hunter Donovan? Zoe, are you crazy? You just told Exodus how dangerous he is. Even Shredder hesitates to use him. He’s unpredictable, disloyal, and has no honor.”

_Even Shredder doesn’t like to use him? That’s bad._

Zoe sighed, “I’m a big girl Karai.”

“Don’t even! Hunter Donovan is nothing short of the devil and you’re going to get hurt. Why would you do this for money?” Karai knocked Zoe’s hand away from her face and for a second Zoe’s lips pressed together and her hands clenched into fists, but in the next breath she seemed to deflate and reside herself to Karai’s inquiry.

“I don’t do it for money.” Zoe said simply, staring at her snow covered boot.

“Then why?” Karai pressed, her own hands balling up in frustration.

_Easy Karai, even I know when Zoe’s having a hard time. You keep coming at her and she’s going to pop._

As if reading my mind Leo stepped forward, tentatively wrapping a hand around Karai’s bicep and inching her back a little from Zoe’s face.

“She’s doing it for the medications,” Donatello answered. We all looked at him. “No, no, I didn’t know, I just figured it out.” He looked at Zoe, “You went that night to get the medicine for April and Exodus. You knew right where to go.”

“But that just happened. How long have you been working for him Zoe?” Karai’s thin black eyebrows drew together, the corners of her mouth bowed.

_And I’m confused. She went to this guy before the girls were sick, I saw her. I don’t get it._

Zoe held her breath and made a noise as she exhaled but didn’t respond.

“You need them too.” Donnie answered for her.

She looked up, the only direction that didn’t have her view blocked by one of our faces. “Yes. I need them too.”

_Oh. I feel like a jerk right now._

Exodus pulled away from Mikey’s grasp, quickly taking up the space Karai just occupied. “Did you- does he think the two of you are-”

_You guys keep getting in her face and she’s going to lose it._

Zoe’s skin picked up a light green cast and she swallowed hard, “No. Of course he wants there to be more but there isn’t. The only reason I was flirting with him before was to distract him, to get him away from you X. This is no life for you.” She blinked furiously before closing her eyes and taking several deep breaths, “I never meant to hurt you.”

“This is no life for you either Zoe, in debt to a man like Hunter. Why didn’t you just come to us?” It was Karai’s turn to guide Exodus back in an effort to give Zoe some space.

Zoe shook her head and blushed, “I can take care of myself. I knew Hunter traded in a wide variety of items, and medications where one of them. When we were in the lab or training or when Shredder sent us into the field, I’d already had dealings with Hunter. I knew how he worked. You guys, I know what I’m doing. This is fine. I steal something for him, he pays me in medicine. It works.”

“You’re stealing Zoe, that’s wrong!” Leo shook his head, his blue eyes wide with disbelief.

_I already know what he’s thinking, how can she not know that’s wrong? Blah, blah, blah. The girls doing what she’s got to do. I get it. It doesn’t make it right. But I get it and I get her, even more now than I did before._

_It’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my family, sacrifice myself and put them first. And if I needed something that I could get for myself I would. I wouldn’t bother them with it._

_At least I have my brothers though, Zoe had no one. The one person she tried to protect just fought her street-side. Some thanks Exodus, after all she’s done for you. She’s pulled your butt out of the fire and all you could think the worst of her._

_I’m no better. There I was only seeing what I wanted to believe, not what actually was._

“What would you have me do Leo? Please tell me my options? I was the first one the Kraang tested on-” Zoe’s eyes widened as if she just realized she’d revealed more than she intended.

“What?” Leo, Donnie and Karai each reached out a hang to grab onto Zoe then realized what they were doing and drew them back.

_What?_

“I’m sorry did you just say the Kraang tested on you?” Donnie waved his hands around for emphasis, “And you didn’t think to tell us?”

“And you were the first one? One of how many? One of what?” Leo’s mouth hung open as he tried to process.

_Wow, you’ve been holding out on us this whole time._

Zoe sighed then bit her lip before licking it and finally speaking. Her voice was soft against the rush of the wind and stained with sadness, “Exodus, do you remember when I said I was going on a mission, the one where you were still mad at me over Hunter. The one where you thought I was running away with him?”

“Yeah,” Exodus whispered her reply.

“It had nothing to do with him at first. Shredder sent me to a Kraang lab.” Zoe looked at each of us as she explained, “I was born a hybrid yes, but not an empath. Just like April gained her psychic abilities from her Kraang mutant side, I was injected with some of her DNA and a then later a bit of mutagen to enhance the empathic abilities once they surfaced. I was there to be enhanced and it worked.” Zoe shifted her weight uncomfortably before continuing, “The Kraang weren’t working with Shredder once they were successful with me. After I turned out well, they wanted more hybrids, to create some super-human race or some nonsense. Shredder just wanted super-soldiers.” She tucked a stray lock of hair out of her eye, back under her hat. “Everybody wants something. All X and I ever wanted was freedom.”

“So where does the Jerkwad come in?” I say flatly.

“Nothing is perfect the first time. I had gained a supernatural ability. Hybrids require immunosuppressant therapy anyway. It’s not natural for animal DNA and human to cross. Our bodies are basically at war with themselves. But then add to that alien-mutant alterations and that takes it to a whole new level. Shredder managed to get me back from the Kraang but he didn’t know what to do about my illness. In his opinion the tests had failed and I was no longer of any use to him. That was until Hunter came to do business, saw me, and offered up a sample of some cutting edge drug therapies and they worked. That’s how I knew to go to him.” She straightened up and looked Leo square in the eye, “I’m fine. I’m getting what I need and I’m doing what I have to do.”

“There has to be another way,” Karai shook her head and looked at Zoe.

“If there is, I don’t know of it.” Zoe met Karai’s gaze evenly.

“I could run some tests. Maybe I could come up with something.” Donnie offered.

“Fine,” Zoe shivered, “Are we done now. Can we go?”

April cleared her throat and Zoe studied her for a moment then seemed to give April a small smile that invited her to ask whatever was on her mind. “The drugs dull my abilities. Instead of reading a person’s thoughts automatically, I have to try really hard. It is like that for you or does that change?”

“The medicines do dull them, but be glad, because it makes them easier to control. That burning headache you felt before, that’s gone because of the drugs. But that doesn’t mean you have any less power, you just have to learn how to control it and use it.” Zoe’s eyes narrowed, “Mine are still evolving. I recently gained the ability to share emotions as well as receive them. But honestly I try not to use them at all unless it’s necessary. It’s just, everyone hates it and I would too if someone were telling me how I feel.”

April glanced at Leo who blushed and looked away. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“So, can we go now?” Zoe repeated and I noticed her trembling lips had a hint of purple to them.

“Yeah, I’m sure we’re past curfew. Come on Team, let’s go home.” Leo glanced over us then came alongside me as I waited back for Zoe. “You go on Raph, I want to talk to Zoe.”

I scoffed, “Yeah, well so do I.”

He stopped, his blue eyes darting from me to Zoe and back.

I set my jaw and stared back at him.

“What do you need to talk to her about?” he raised an eye ridge, a little tease of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

“None of your business,” I growled.

“Well, let her know, she can’t keep going to meet that guy.” Leo’s eyes widened then narrowed, “Wait, if she was supposed to be with you, how’d she even get the time to do it?” My nosey brother crossed his arms, “Unless you knew she was, the whole time and you let her go.”

“Why can’t you ever mind your own business?” My hands formed fists as I shouldered him out of my way.

“Because it’s my job to keep the lot of you safe! And how am I supposed to do that if I can’t even trust you?” Leo’s hand came down on my shoulder and I wheeled on him fists flying.

 


	32. Chapter 32

**Zoe**

_Well, that’s just great._ Only Splinter has successfully broken up a fight between these two. And here we are in the freezing cold, so close to getting to go home that half the team is already on the fire escape, and now they choose to go at each other. I set my teeth on edge.

_I have had it with this crap._

As the snow flies and the brothers roll and slam into each other, I run to the fire escape where fortunately Donnie is still near the top.

“Donnie, I need your bo. Toss it up and come help a girl out!”

“What’s going on up there Zoe?” Donnie reaches behind him, reluctantly handing me his weapon.

“Your brothers are fighting.” I tell him, wrapping a hand around the staff and looking in the direction of the green grunting and growling mess. Holding the staff in one hand and my twin tessen in my other, I step into the danger zone, close enough that I can feel the fist fly by me. I fling one tessen at Raph’s shell and the other at Leo’s, both boys look up and I swing the staff out between them, jump forward and swing it wide, using it to push them back from each other.

“Knock it off. Both of you,” I look back and forth at each brother.

Leonardo’s eyes dart from me to his brother and back. Raph’s eyes never leave Leo.

“What’s this about?” I watch their postures, ready to act at first sign that the fight will continue.

Leo’s voice was edged in steel. “Tell me that Raph didn’t know you were meeting this guy and let you go alone this whole time.”

“Raph, what did you tell Leo? Because whatever you want to tell him is fine with me, but I’m not saying anything else until I’ve cleared it with you first.” I look at Raphael, still holding the staff to keep the distance between them. _I won’t betray him._

“What you have to get permission from him to speak but he can’t be bothered to keep you safe?” Leo scoffs.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about Leo.” I reply coolly, unaffected by Leo’s slight. But I notice Raph flinch out of the corner of my eye.  

Donnie clears his throat, “Uh, you got this Zoe?”

“I’ve got it Don. Thanks, we’ll be along in a minute.” I answer him without looking away from Raphael.

Raph speaks up, “I didn’t tell him anything. It’s between me and you. He’ll just tell Sensei and we’ll be back in the ha-shi.”

“Raph, how often does Leo rat one of us out? I think we can trust him. He is after all our leader.” I look at Leo who’s still clearly on edge. “But be careful what you want to know Leo. The more information you have the more you have to deal with. The more choices you have to make.”

“Fine,” Raph throws his hands up and spins around looking away from us.

“When we were grounded, when we left the lair, Raph went and did his thing and I went and did mine. We didn’t ask questions. We just agreed to meet back at the lair at curfew.”

“Are you nuts?! Either one of you could’ve been hurt or worse! Zoe you have enemies or have you forgotten?” Leo threw his hands up.

Raph stood with his shell to us, arms crossed, bandana tails flying in the wind, shaking his head. “I told you.”

“It’s called respect and trust Leo. I trusted Raph to be smart and careful and he didn’t let me down. Well once, but for the most part he didn’t take on more than he could handle. And he respected me enough to not question me or try to control any of the choices I was making.”

“Even though I know I should’ve.” Raph snapped.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I look at his shell, “And can you not turn around and talk to us?”

But he was already turning around. He laid his hand over the staff and gently lowered it, then came to stand in front of me. His intense green eyes peered into me and I felt my breath catch in my throat as the bo fell from my fingers, landing in the snow with a muted thud.

“Leo’s right. I shouldn’t have let you go off by yourself. Anything could’ve happened. It was selfish and stupid. We should’ve been looking out for each other better.” He glanced sideways at Leo, whose expression I couldn’t see but clearly there was an unspoken conversation because Leo was leaving.

“I’ll get this back to Donnie. You guys catch up quick.” He said picking up the bo, slipping it onto his back and retreating down the fire escape.

Tingling, numb, they weren’t the words for the icicle I had become over the past few hours of fighting and talking. Yet with my lip trembling and my body stiff from cold, my fingers and toes long past frozen, I wanted to be on this roof with him. _Just me and him._ There was nowhere else I would rather be.  

“What are you saying Raph?” I whispered, afraid of his reply. _I’m always afraid of what he’ll say to me. He could hurt me and I hate that… stupid feeling._

A large green hand reached out for my smaller gloved one. “He’s right Zoe. I should’ve never gone along with us going our own way. We were lucky. Something could’ve happened.”

He was looking right at me, meeting me head-on the way he does everything. The way I can, but sometimes don’t. I admire that in him. The courage to come right at whatever it is, whether it threatens to break him down, tear him apart or even destroy him, he looks it in the eye and charges ahead. It could be considered reckless, and sometimes he is. But it’s everything that goes with that courage, that’s what lights a fire in me. Raphael moves with purpose and heart, driven by the best of motives, loyalty, light, and love.

I found it hard to look in his eyes, they scare me so, and not in the way that sends a person running in fear, but with the mere chance of what they might hold for me, to look in those cool green depths put me at risk of falling into them, weak and helpless against him. I’m in a horrible wonderful place, unsure of where we are with one another, knowing I’m adrift but not if he’s willing.

I pull my gaze into focus, realizing I’m staring at his foot print, punched in the snow in a perfect two toed imprint. Such an unusual yet amazing thing… “Raphael you are so beautiful,” I murmur, willing myself to look in his peridot gems.

“How hard did X kick you in the head?” He raised one eye ridge and flashed me an adorable crooked grin.

“Huh?” I’m not listening. My eyes are soaking up all that is Raphael, from fraying crimson mask, to gorgeous eyes, across the flat nose and large mouth, every bit of emerald green flesh taught against perfect muscle, to the lightning bolt shaped chip in his plastron and the scuffs and scars adorning it. I circled around him, tugging the glove off my hand to rest my fingertips against the edge of his carapace, tracing along his nuchal shell, feeling along the grooves and ridges. “Beautiful,” I whisper.

He turns slowly, pulling my bare hand in his, “You are freezing and not acting right. I think we should get you back to the lair.”

“And you are remarkable.” I say dazedly, feeling warm inside despite the bitter cold.

His free hand wraps around the side of my head and he releases my other to mimic the action on the other side, then pulls me to him, tugging off my hat and studying my hair intently while moving his fingers.

“What are you doing?” I look up at him between his arms.

“Checking you for a bump on the head,” he frowns then looks in my eyes. “Are you okay?”

Without answering him, I opt to do something I wouldn’t have dared to two weeks ago. I step into him, place my head against his plastron and rest my hands along his bridge. He’s stiff at first, but dissolves quickly, wrapping his arms around me.

“I don’t know what we’re doing and I don’t need to label it. All I know, is you are fast becoming the only one I’ve ever met to understand me, even a little. And I know how crazy you are about Casey, but you’re my best friend too.” I tell him, never moving from the embrace.

He chuckles into my hair, “You are nuts, but I like it.”

“Which part?” I mumble, breathing in his leathery scent, feeling comfortable with the hard keratin mashed against my cheek and warmed through for the first time in hours.

“All of it.”


	33. Chapter 33

**Tuesday**

**Raphael**

 

The first thing I saw this morning was his empty plate, still sitting on the table by my bed. It could stay there too. I knew he wouldn’t, but it kinda felt like leaving the door open for him... Not that I’d ever admit it to anyone, but it was nice to have someone to talk to and Spike was that for me. Casey helps, but Spike didn’t talk back and sometimes that’s what a guy needs. Someone to just listen, not comment, not judge, not even try to fix it, just be there. And while Casey is _like_ me and Zoe is quick to _get_ me, Spike had been there for me for so long that there was this tiny, nagging ache in my plastron, and my stomach took a little dip every time I thought of him.

_I hope I don’t feel this way all day. No time for this sentimental crap._

Heaving a sigh, I glance at the alarm clock.

“Ugh, warm up and training with Karai.”

_Well this should be an interesting day._

Right as I open my bedroom door she’s standing there, dark eyes searing, “You’re late. I don’t do late. It’s only four days until we switch back, surely you can be on time.”

_In my face already, it’s gonna be a long week._

I roll my eyes, “Outta my way Princess.”

As I push past her I can feel her glaring at me, “Why do you call me that?”

I glance over my shoulder at her, “because you were the princess of The Foot Clan.”

“Well I’m not anymore and Zoe hates it when you call me that.” Karai steps alongside me and we make our way to the dojo.

“What makes you think I care what Zoe thinks?” I shrug.

Karai points to the space right in front of Sensei, the only one left. _I really am late, I hate this spot._ A quick scan of the room and I find Zoe doing some yoga next to Donnie. Her hair is tied back in a floppy knot thing, with a few stray strands of red dangling around her face. Don said something that made her laugh and I found my cheeks curling upward in response to the sight of her. _I love the way her eyes soften and she gets that little dimple at the corner of her mouth when she smiles._ She glances over at me, flashing me her ear to ear grin quickly, before turning her attention back to my brother.

“That right there is why I know you care what she thinks.”

Startled from my thoughts I turn on Karai, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

As I begin my warm up Karai decides to invade my personal space. Stepping in front of me, so close the fabric of her shirt brushes against my plastron, she leans her head toward the side of my face. The scent of jasmine fills my nostrils and my head starts to hurt.   “What’re you doin’ Karai?” I stand perfectly still and look around the room to see if anyone is watching. My stomach plummets as I catch two sets of eyes, darting in our direction and then quickly looking away. _Great, because I need the two of them mad at me._ A third set is covered with an orange mask and he’s both frowning and shaking his head. Glaring at the ivory skinned, red lipped, girl hovering near me, a low growl rises up from my chest.

“You don’t care what she thinks Raph, remember? Or do you?” Karai purrs.

Karai likes to push limits and right now is no exception. A slender finger drags across my shoulder and I set my jaw, making a conscious effort not to knock her on her butt, instead grabbing her hand and lowering it to her side. I lean so close to her I can feel the heat off her, then I set my mouth next to her ear and release a snarl that makes her hair blow, “Keep your hands off me Karai. This is the only warning you’re going to get.”

In the wicked way that only Karai can, she laughs. “Hmm, I can make both, your brother and the girl you like jealous, and get you all riled up in a few seconds.”

“Just warm up,” I pick her up by her biceps and move her onto her yoga mat. “Stop trying to start something.”

“I’m just saying you care Raphael, and if you’d just admit it then I wouldn’t have to prove it.” Tucking a lock of black hair behind her ear she sits on her yoga mat and watches Zoe.

“Why’s it even matter to you Karai? It’s none of your business. What you need to do is shut up and warm up.” This girl can really get on my nerves sometimes, and not in a good way. I unclench my fists and start stretching.

“You’re actually kind of perfect for each other.” Her voice is so soft I thought for a second that I’d imagined it, so I checked her spot on her mat and felt a pang of sadness for the look on her face. It was a confusing expression, her gaze was set on Zoe, but it was as if she wasn’t seeing her. _She’s remembering something._ Karai’s thin lips where bowed in a slight frown, her arched eyebrows drawn together. “You’re both fire, apart you’re just a flame, but together a scorching blaze that could burn through anything.”

“What does that even mean?” I glance at Zoe who’s focused on her yoga practice.

“You both rely on intuition, you’re gut instincts. That’s how you survive the crazy situations you get yourselves into. But that’s fire too. It’s such a reckless, passionate element.   And when Zoe sets her mind to something, that’s it, and once she speaks it, watch out. She follows through, keeps her word. You’re the same way. You keep a wall up to protect yourself, but don’t think no one knows. The ones closest to you always do. But where most would leave you be, those who are like you will not. Zoe will crush those walls Raphael and leave you completely disarmed.” Karai shakes her head as if clearing it then she looks me in the eye, “Just be sure you get hers down too. If fire isn’t tended to carefully it will burn out, and if left uncontrolled it will sear everything in its path to ash.”

Stupid rhymes, riddles and idioms, as if Master Splinter and Leo weren’t enough, now I have a sister throwing them at me too… and as far as walls go, I didn’t realize Zoe had any surrounding her. I thought I’d broken through the one she tried to put up, and as for myself, well she was picking me apart one layer at time.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. It doesn’t make a bit of sense. All I want to do is get through this day, and it’d be a lot easier if you quit yappin.” As if her perfume wasn’t enough, her voice is starting to scratch at my brain now too. I rub between my eyes. _No wonder Leo rubs his face so much. She probably gives him a headache. And yet somehow he likes her?_

“She jumped in the way of danger for me more than once Raphael. Zoe doesn’t care about her own life, only the few she lets in hers. That lists so short, that until we came here, it included only Exodus and me. If you take care of each other with that kind of passion, you’ll be unstoppable. That’s what I’m talking about.” Karai stepped off her mat and jabbed her finger in my plastron, “And don’t let anything happen to her, and don’t hurt her, or I’ll hurt you.”

“Okay, I’ve had about all the crazy I can handle in ten minutes and it’s time to train. So go sit over there and let your insanity rub off on one of the girls, maybe April, Exodus’ is crazy enough, and not Zoe, I like her the way she is, so yeah, go rub some crazy off on April. Just get away from me.” I take my spot in the line-up, between Leo and Donnie, faster than I have in weeks.

“We will spend much of today with yoga and meditation, in three parts. The first will be reflection of our past, the second will be making peace with our present and the third will help us be open to receiving all that the future has to offer us. If you don’t have a mat, please,” Sensei waves to the four yoga mats resting in a dusty corner of the dojo.

I hate yoga, even more than I hate meditating. _Can’t we just apologize for the past, say I’m cool with the present and deal with the future as it comes?_

Of course Leo is already across the room, Donnie and Mike right behind him collecting their mats. A small cloud of lint poufs into the air as Leo picks up his mat and shakes it. I saunter over and reach for mine, and for some reason it’s not that dirty. Come to think of it, it’s clean and not exactly where I’d left it either. Mikey picks his up by the corner and as it unrolls candy wrappers fall out of it.

“Eww Mikey, is that caramel on your mat?” I lean closer, squinting to look at the streak of golden goo with a wrapper stuck to it.

“Mmmm, yummy, I can have a snack while we practice.” Mikey plucks the wrapper off his orange mat and licks it.

“Eww,” I hear the girls groan.

We return to our spaces, unroll our mats and sit in easy pose waiting for instruction.

“Each of you dwell within an earthly element, of which there are five, space, air, water, earth and fire. Our goal today will be to end our practice all within the realm of the element of space, where we can move freely toward our future, together. You may find that parts of today’s practice draw from your natural element and are easier for you while others may be more difficult. Embrace this, as you make room to grow.” Master Splinter walks slowly back and forth past each of us before coming to stand in the middle of the dojo.

_It’s going to be a long, boring day…_

“Come to standing at the front of your mat and as you set your intention, keep in mind that your past no longer serves you. It cannot be changed, and while it may not be forgotten, take peace in knowing it is done. You no longer live there. You are right here, right now, surrounded by family. Close your eyes, what do you hear? What do you smell, what do you feel in this very moment?”

_My past no longer serves me. I can’t change it. It’s done. I’m right here right now, with family, a big, messy, crazy family._

Karai’s jasmine scent lingers on my plastron and yet since unrolling my mat a soft honeysuckle aroma seems to push it back, drowning it out.

_I guess I know who’s been using my mat._

Across the room I can hear giggling, Exodus. _Does she ever stop?_ Well if Mikey would quit provoking her, maybe she could. _Maybe._ But I can hear him snickering too. _And they aren’t even near each other._ From next to me Leo’s breath is steady in through his nose, out through his nose. I pick up a rhythm with my own and my mind wanders…

_The air was thick and damp with the moist heat of a summer night, the stench of the sewer was extra potent thanks to the lack of any sort of breeze. I wouldn’t even be out right now if they didn’t get under my shell so bad. I’d gotten lucky in the junkyard and found a mint collection of Larken Atlas comics and it took my baby brother all of an hour to coat them in pizza sauce. If I hadn’t left I would’ve done more than whack him over the head with them._

_“Just shove it in there.”_

_“Why?”_

_“Because I don’t want it. I don’t know why you let her bring it home.”_

_“Because Layla’s parents didn’t want it anymore either.”_

_“They live forever and they stink, just shove it in there.”_

_I heard the sound of cardboard against the metal of the drainage grate and pressed myself against the wall, further into the darkness. A small rectangular shaped box popped through the widest opening and landed with a thud at my feet. Scratching noises came from within and it seemed to move a bit. Reaching down I picked it up and was a little surprised at the round weighted feel in the middle. Upon opening it, a feeling tugged at my heart the way I pulled on my father’s robe when I wanted his attention. “Poor guy, what’d they do to ya?” A little tortoise peeked up at me, his golden eyes wide and lonely. I knew in an instant, he was coming home with me. “Well don’t worry, you’re safe now. I’ll never throw you away.”_

_“Are you gonna keep him?” Mikey reached out to touch him but I held the turtle close, turning away._

_“I think you’ve touched enough stuff today and yes.”_

_Mikey frowned, “Why would anyone throw him away?”_

_“Because their stupid. He’s awesome.”_

_My little brother lit up like the sun peeking from behind a cloud, “He just got lucky I guess.”_

_“What’d ya mean? How’s it lucky to get thrown away?”_

_More rays of light seemed to burst through Mikey’s eyes, “Because he found you.”_

_Well actually I found him, but yeah, I guess he did._

“I’ve never seen him in such a deep trance. We should leave him.” Leo’s voice interrupted my daydream.

 

“Oh let me poke him, let me poke him!”

 

As my little brother’s finger pressed into my shoulder I snatched it up, applying enough pressure to drop him to his knees.

“Ow, ow! Uncle!” He squealed.

 

Opening my eyes I found everyone standing near the door, a quick glance at the clock told me it was lunchtime.

 

XXX

 

“Girls, please take a place along the wall.” Sensei nods to the target wall and the girls heads all tilt to the side, eyes wide.

 

“Sensei?” They look at him in question.

 

“Please.” He repeats and motions again, his tail tapping the floor to punctuate his command.

 

The girls ambled to the wall, looking at each other.

“Boys, please select from the table a knife, shuriken, or bow and arrow.”

 _This is going to be fun._ I march over and pick up a handful of knives. _Who will I get to throw this at? My shell is itching already. Karai would be great, she annoyed me today._

 

“As we begin this exercise, be aware that what you make of every moment, in the moment, has the ability to shape your future and create for you a past so wonderful it’s difficult to leave behind. Likewise failure to commit to the present can put the ones most precious to you at risk, threatening you with quite the opposite. You eight know this all too well. Leonardo, you will go first. This is an exercise of trust and presence.”

 

“Wwwwhat are we doing?” Zoe stammers.

 

_You would be nervous, especially if he switches this around on us. Thankfully he’s mixed up our partners or I may very well lose something!_

“Zoe, do you trust your leader?” Master Splinter’s whiskers twitch as Zoe looks at Leo.

 

“Yes I do.” She responds within seconds.

 

_I wonder if she’d answer that fast if it were me she was supposed to trust._

 

Leo is glowing, his mouth curled upward as far as it can stretch, his cobalt eyes are warm and bright as he steps to Sensei’s side, bow in hand. Master Splinter reaches into his robe, makes his way in front of each girl and places a small votive candle on each of their heads, then lights it.

 

“Put out the fire.” Sensei tells Leo.

 

“Hai, Sensei.” Leo takes careful aim, releasing each arrow so that it lands just beside the wick. The force of the air from each one extinguishes the flames without issue.

 

“Air, very well done Leonardo, you may be seated.” Sensei turns to Donnie, “Donatello you are next.”

 

As Sensei relights the flames, Donnie pulls forth his bo-staff.

 

“Sensei, may I use my own weapon and stand anywhere I choose?”

 

“Of course, Donatello, as long as you complete the exercise.”

 

Donnie stands in line with the girls and throws his staff smoothly across the tops of the votives, smothering the lights.

 

“Well that was less terrifying than an arrow flying at my head.” Exodus giggled.

 

“Speak for yourself. You weren’t the one closest to him with a bo flying at the side of your face.” Zoe pouted, but looked at Donnie and winked, “Not that I doubted you for a second.”

 

Donnie flashed a gap-toothed grin.

“Raphael, you are next.”

 

_Great, how does fire extinguish fire?_

 

As if reading my mind Sensei hands me a bow and arrow, “I’ll take the knives Raphael, I don’t think that’s what you need here.” I hand them over to him. He places them on the table and comes back with the lighter and a handful of cotton balls. He skewers a cotton ball on the end of each arrow. “Your challenge is to create a spark of light to help us see through the darkness.”

 

“Wh-what?” Karai chokes out.

 

“Uh- Sensei about flames flying over my head… I just don’t-” Exodus rolls a foot around, tugging on the hem of her shorts nervously.

 

“You should be very still Exodus.” Master Splinter tells her.

 

Exodus straightens up, resting her trembling blue eyes on me.

 

April has gone a sick white shade and I think she may pass out.

 

And Zoe is smiling.

 

_Well alright, let’s light a fire._

 

Splinter lights the puffball at the end of my first arrow, I am it right at the wick above Zoe’s head. Her eyes never leave my face, she doesn’t even blink. _Good._ I launch three more flaming arrows, flawlessly. Four beautiful red flames burn like tiny lanterns over the girls’ heads and I’m warmed by their courage and Zoe’s faith in me.

 

“Very good. Michelangelo.”

 

Mikey is grinning like a fool as he saunters up to the middle of the dojo, facing the girls. “I’ve got this Sensei.”

 

Before the girls get a chance to react Mikey is tossing four balloons right above each candle. Splat. Hiss. Splat. Hiss. Splat. Hiss. Splat. Hiss.

 

“EEEEEK!” They shriek as water rushes down over each and every one of them.

 

“MIKEY!”

 

Master Splinter chuckles as the girls chase Mike around the dojo. After a few minutes of them tickling him until he can’t breathe Sensei breaks it up.

 

“That is enough. Girls it is your turn.”

 

_Oh no._

 

Zoe’s eyes dart to me. _As long as you don’t have to throw knives, you’re fine._ I offer her what I hope to be a reassuring smile. She bites her lip and I shake my head, smile and give her an encouraging nod. Still chewing her lip, her head bobs a bit then she turns her attention to Exodus who is up first.

 

Sensei places four candles over our heads and lights them.

 

Where Zoe is a novice knife thrower, Exodus excels, which is probably why she loves to tease Zoe. Exodus tosses each knife with ease, snipping the tip off each wick, perfectly. When she’s done she bounces up and down like a cheerleader and I want to knock her over the head. She’s so girly sweet she’s giving me a cavity.

 

Karai rolls her eyes, glances at the relit candles and tosses four shuriken so that they land perfectly over the tops of the glass votives, like lids. The flames smother and go out. She laughs, “Left untended it will burn out,” her brown eyes flicker in my direction, “or I’ll just put it out.”

 

_Are you threatening me? Bring it Girly._

 

April licks her lips and fixes her eyes on Donatello whose expression seems to calm her. “Sensei, may I use my tessen?”

 

“Of course, April.”

 

In one beautiful swipe April’s fan flies over each of our heads blowing out each candle with the gust of wind it creates, her weapon returning to her hand.

 

_Nice, very nice._

 

“Zoe, here are four knives, you will use these to light the candles.”

 

“Sensei, I can’t, someone could get hurt. Please.”

 

“You can do this Zoe. I’ve seen you and Raphael practicing, and you have much improved.”

 

Then it dawns on me. She _has_ improved, only there’s something that happens every time right before she hits her target. I feel a spark ignite within me as I know I can help her.

 

“Nah, I don’t want her throwing anything sharp at my head, let alone anything on fire. She still throws like a _girl_. I could lose an eye. ” I set my jaw and clench my fists, glaring at her, “If you screw this up, I’ll put a _dozen_ spiders in your bed.”

 

Zoe’s expression darkens as she sticks a hand on her hip, and jerks her head back, “Excuse me?”

 

“You heard me _Princess_ ,” I taunt her.

 

_Yeah that oughta do it._

 

Her face darkened to the color of a tomato as she plucked a flaming blade from Sensei’s hand and whirled it at my brother’s head. The knife whizzed by, past Leo, Donnie, Mikey and then me. I reached up and caught it, while balancing the tiny glowing light above me. I blew out the blaze, tucked the knife in my belt and met her halfway as she ran in my arms squealing like a little girl.

 

“I did it! I did it!”

 

She flung her arms around my neck and I laughed, “I thought you’d be mad at me.”

 

“Oh,” she pulled back and I set her to her feet. She bit her lip as she considered what I’d said to her, then she jabbed a finger in my plastron, “You did that on purpose to make me mad!”

 

“Yep,” I grin at her.

 

Air rushes out of her in a huff, as she squints her eyes and pokes me again. “Don’t you ever call me that again, got it?”

 

“What if I do?” I raise an eye ridge and lift my chin, feeling that spark growing into a flame as I challenge her.

 

The light in her eyes dies down and that beautiful gray resembles scattered ash as she frowns, her voice dropping to a whisper, “Please don’t. I understand why you made me mad and it worked. Thank you. But please don’t ever call me that again.”

 

I’m hit with the memory of her hurting me with her slight, the first time we practiced in the dojo, and I realize this is as important to her as it was to me then. Tentatively and with a room full of eyes on us I reply, “Just as you promised me, I promise you.”

 

Before we can go on Sensei interrupts us, “Very good Zoe.” He rests a hand on her shoulder and we step back from one another. Master Splinter motions toward the door, “We will break for dinner then we will meet for evening meditation as we open our minds to the future.”

 

XXX

As I slip into my room, grateful the day wasn’t that bad, _although future meditations were extremely boring_ , I remove my utility belt laying my sai on the desk next to my nightstand. Then as I drop my belt to the floor, the knife Zoe had thrown falls out. I pick it up remembering that determined look in her eye, followed by a flawless throw, and then the hurt I meant to ask her about later. _There had to be a reason calling her Princess bothered her that much._ I jab the knife into the plywood top, in the process bumping Spikes plate closer to the edge. I nudged it back, resting it against the balanced blade. _Helping her today, her face when she made her throw, that was fire._ _That was how I wanted to feel every day, that’s where it comes from, that’s the kindling that keeps it burning. That’s happiness._ Discarding my knee and elbow pads I sit on my bed and stare at the small round dish.

The plate is still sitting there, just as it was this morning, and yesterday and the day before, but this time I knew, it would not be there tomorrow. While that pang near my heart would be, maybe for always, there was something else soothing it now, coating the wound like honey on a sore throat. I picked up the white chipped dish and made my way to the kitchen.

“Raph?”

Her voice was soft, I hadn’t noticed her sitting at the table but she didn’t surprise me. Realizing I felt her there before she spoke, Karai’s words nagged at the corners of my mind. “ _Your both fire, apart you’re just a flame, but together a scorching blaze that could burn through anything.”_ A heat ignites within me and I feel at peace with my decision to let go of one thing in order to make room for another.      

I laid the dish on the counter, willing myself to release it. _Goodbye for now, Spike._

“Yea?” I mutter, glancing at the dish one last time before turning to face her.

“You wanna go for a walk?” She had an empty teacup in her small hands, nimble fingers spinning it without making a sound.

“You want to spend more time in the ha-shi? We’re not even really supposed to be talking right now.”

She frowned and bit her lip, then looked away to the concrete wall. “Yeah, I guess you’re right,” she whispered.

I rolled my eyes, “Fine, but sneaking out after curfew, is not helping our case any.”

Even by the soft orange glow from the jack-o-lantern nightlight in the kitchen, her eyes sparkled with flecks of white light, like stars against the backdrop of a stormy night. She set her devious gaze on me, her mouth turning up into a coy smile, “Oh come on. Are you really worried about helping our _case_?”

 _Teetering on the edge there Zoe, challenging me, don’t ya think?_ The corner of my mouth turned up and I felt the familiar thrill of the urge to go head-to-head with her, my blood heating in response. “You’re a _case_ , a _head_ case.”

Pushing the chair back, she picked up the cup, and in two short steps she’d pressed her body against my plastron as she reached around me, placing it on the counter. The light fragrant scent of honeysuckle wafted up from her hair, flooding my senses, my breaths running deep as I savored the thrills of every inhale.  

Soft, red hair brushed against my jaw as she tilt back her head and looked up at me, “ _I’m_ a head case? You sure about that? Maybe I’m just in _your_ head.”

I swallowed, struggling to get my heart to stop pounding. _You’re in my head alright and it’s all I can do to try and accept that, trouble is now you’re making a place for yourself somewhere even more sacred. I’m not even sure I want you there. Yet the idea of you leaving the space you fill within me… well it scares me more than cockroaches._ _But here you are, pressing your body against mine, staying longer than you need to, just to put down that cup and if I’m honest with myself, I don’t want you to move._  

“Donatello would give his brain to have April come at him the way you do me,” I feel the words leaving my mouth but I don’t know what has made me say them.

“What?”

She steps back and I immediately regret speaking.

 _This is exhausting…_ and yet with her curvy lithe frame, her hand on her hip, eyes glaring, and lips pursed, ready to square off with me, I realize… _I love every minute of it._ In a single swift motion I reach out and pull her to me, blood rushing in my ears in a deafening roar like a tidal wave devastating a shoreline. “Nothing,” I tell her. _But it’s not, nothing, you found me and…_ My huge hand takes up half her face but she leans into it, whatever shock she’d felt from my words dissolving beneath the lightness of our touch. Closing my eyes, I wrap my arm around her pulling her to me. “I’m just lucky I guess.”  


	34. Chapter 34

**Wednesday**

**Zoe**

**Hot and Cold**

_Someone call the doctor_

_Got a case of love bi-polar_

_Stuck on a roller coaster_

_Can’t get off this ride_

Katy Perry

“Get out of the bathroom Karai!” Exodus pounds on the upstairs bathroom door.

“Go downstairs!” Karai barks.

“The boys are downstairs!” X growls.

“And, I’m in here!”

As I stand behind my irritable blonde friend, sniffing the scent of fabric softener on my bath towel, I giggle. I don’t think Raph realizes that I know he sniffs me every time I get close to him. _It’s kinda cute._

“What’re you laughing at?” X whirls around to snap at me, then sees the expression on my face and her blue eyes shift from irritated to amused, in a more playful tone she repeats, “What _are_ you laughing at?”

Before I’m forced to reply I hear the lair door open, “Good morning! Where is everyone?” April looks up and we both smile and wave at her.

“Your early this morning April! Oh, good morning Mr. O’neil,” my stomach plummets. If Kirby O’Neil is here, it’s to finish his discussion with Master Splinter about us going to school.

They wave at us and Splinter comes out to greet them.

Karai flings open the bathroom door, “Your turn Horse Girl!” She glares at Exodus and moves to go around me, but I fling an arm out to stop her. “What?” She snaps at me.

“Calm down Karai,” I say coolly, “What’s with the new make-up?”

Karai’s thin red lips curl into a wicked smile, “Do you like it?”

Exodus gives her a once-over from the bathroom door, “Oh, Leo will love it.”

It’s strange to see Karai blush, and it’s such a faint pink cast that if you weren’t paying attention you’d miss it. “Good,” she says softly.

Her blonde undertones, red streaks and eye shadow have all been traded in for a beautiful electric blue. _Somebody is going to lose it this morning and I have my money on one Hamato Leonardo._

“Hey Zoe, Karai, get X and come on, Sensei wants us in the dojo!” Mikey bounds into the living area and calls up to us. He see’s Karai and his eyes widen, “Love the new look Rai!”

She gives him a knowing grin, “Thanks Mikey.”

“Zoe, Sensei wants to see us.” Donnie appears behind Mikey and calls up to me.

“I haven’t had my shower yet. Karai took forever and X just went in.”

Donatello frowns, “Sorry.”

Rolling my head back I groan then turn to go in Karai’s room and get dressed _. If Donnie is coming along right after Mikey, then Splinter’s must be getting tired of waiting._

I tug on my black yoga pants, sports bra and an olive green crop tank before wrestling my hair in a floppy knot on the back of my head and jogging to the dojo. I take my place in line up in between Karai and Exodus, April on X’s other side. _How’d they get here so fast?_

Sensei’s eyes follow me to my spot as he strokes his long chin fur thoughtfully.

Before I steal a glance at Raph, I find myself holding back a fit of laughter at an ogling Leonardo. The boy all but has hearts in his eyes and I didn’t think it was possible for a turtle to turn that red. Even better he keeps swallowing and licking his lips.

“Leonardo,” Sensei picks up on his eldest son’s odd behavior immediately.

“Sssssss, sssss, sssss,” Leo stammers, still staring at Karai.

“Leonardo.” Master Splinter repeats.

“Ssssss, sssss, sssseee,” Leo’s lip is trembling, his Adams apple bobbing madly.

All four of us girls burst out laughing.

I bite my lip, hating to embarrass him any further but loving how much Karai’s look has affected him.

“Leonardo!” Sensei flicks his tail, tapping Leo on the shoulder.

Leo jumps and his eyes turn to our master. “Yes Karai, I mean-” His blue eyes widen and his color now resembles a beet, “I mean, I mean Sensei, Sensei, yes, yes Master Splinter.”

At this point Mikey and Exodus are laughing so hard they can’t breathe and from opposite ends of the room they are rolling around on their sides in identical hysterics. Karai and April suppress their own giggles. I roll my eyes then glance at Raph and find him shaking his head with this ‘I am not amused’ expression on his face. His eyes flicker to me and we exchange a good morning smirk.

“Leonardo, are you ill?” Sensei asks our blushing leader.

“Nnno, no Sensei. I’m fine Sensei.” Leo straightens his back and shoulders, before looking straight ahead, putting Exodus in his eyesight instead of Karai.

“Nice job Karai, Leo’s just sort of the Ha-Shi first thing this morning.” Exodus whispers behind my back.

“Exodus, attention please.” Sensei taps the floor by X’s knees and she trains her focus on our teacher.

“Mr. O’Neil and I have been working together for the past two days to get you three registered in High School as April’s cousins. He will be listed as your guardian. Donatello will prepare your necessary documentation. You should be able to begin classes Friday.”

I feel sick. Exodus seems eager, and she would, she’s so freaking chipper. I glance at Karai, she looks like I feel. We both sigh.

“That is all for now. Let us begin warm-ups.”

XXX

Donnie, Master Splinter and Mr. O’Neil were in the lab working on preparing documents after lunch. Our afternoon training was cancelled in the wake of school preparation, as was the evening session because Mr. O’Neil was supposed to take us shopping for school supplies.

Raph was conditioning on the landing of the entry steps, Mikey and Leo were playing a video game and I was sitting with the girls.

“So are you excited to go to high school?” April tried to sound optimistic but I could tell by her forced smile, she knew.

“No.” Karai and I said at the same time.

“Yes! I can’t wait. We can make so many friends!” Exodus bounced so much I could’ve sworn she had rabbit DNA, but no, just horse. If it weren’t for her quirky traits you’d never know. The girl was tall, strong and fast, other than that, and her strange run like hell instincts, you’d never know she had equine genes. When it comes to us hybrids, knowing is in the details not a cursory glance.

“Yeah and the first time you whinny when you giggle, or get startled and bolt like a freaked out filly, that won’t seem weird at all.” I roll my eyes and rub my face.

“I think you’ll do great!” Mikey chirps, never looking away from the game.

“Thanks Mikey!” Exodus’s eyes float up to the tails of his mask and she seems to glow.

He loses his round and moves to surrender his spot to Leo but our leader turns to face us, “Just be careful. You three have a lot of enemies. I don’t know how safe this idea is. I already worry when April goes.” He frowns, his gaze drifting to Karai.

“You worried about goons, or all of the loser guys running around our school?” Casey quips, hopping over a turn-style and fist bumping Raph before plopping down next to April. “Sup, Red?” He wiggles his dark eyebrows and April laughs.

“Goons. I think these three can handle losers.” Leo rubs the back of his neck and glances toward the lab.

_I don’t know if I believe you there Leo._

I snort, “Please, we can handle goons too.”

Leo looks at me, raising an eye ridge, “Just be careful Zoe.”

“As if she even knows how,” Raph snickers from behind me.

“And you do?” I look over my shoulder to find him finishing up his push-ups and heading towards Casey. He stops and glares at me.

“I’m not the one working for a thief.” He snaps.

“Ouch,” Mikey and Exodus grimace as I lift my chin and set my jaw.

My gaze follows him, I already know what he’s doing and yet I can’t help myself. “Nice Raph, that’s really great.” I stomp off for the kitchen, knowing he won’t follow.

Throwing open the freezer, and giving Ice Cream Kitty a pat on the head, I grab my pint of Ben and Jerry’s and it’s too light. As I rip off the lid I already know it’s empty. “RAPHAEL!” I yell slamming the empty carton onto the table.

He doesn’t answer me.

“Raph!”

I snatch up the container and storm into the living area right up to Raph, who’s sprawled across his red beanbag, with his ankles crossed and his hands behind his head, talking to Casey.

“You ate my ice cream.”

He raises an eye ridge and looks at me. Casey’s eyes narrow. The group sitting on the stairs stops chatting.

“What is your problem all of the sudden?” I ask before kneeling down to whisper in my most threatening tone, “If you want to keep our private life private, I suggest you get on your feet and meet me in the kitchen right now.”

He crosses his arms and stares straight ahead.

“Boy, I tell you-” I shake my head and grit my teeth.

He doesn’t move.

“Now Raph!” I tap his leg with my foot and he glares at me.

“Uh-oh,” Mikey squeaks.

“Zoe,” Exodus says meekly.

“Don’t do that again.” Raph growls.

“Or what?” I poke him again.

He’s on his feet and in my face, green eyes searing. “Knock it off Zoe. I ate your ice cream. Who cares?”

“Zoe,” April tries to get my attention.

I thrust my hands into his plastron, pushing him back a step, “I do. I bought it for us to share and I wouldn’t care if you ate it, but you put the empty container back in the freezer and you didn’t tell me.”

“Don’t put your hands on me again Zoe.” He snarls.

I lean in toward him, “Raph, what is going on with you? You’re moodier than Karai with PMS!”

“Excuse me! Your no better,” Karai hisses, “and leave me out of your drama.”

I can feel my heart pounding. _We’re getting along so well, why’s he doing this?_ Ignoring Karai, I keep my eyes fixed on Raphael. “Are you going to talk to me or what?”

“Or what,” He bites, shoving past me. I turn around and launch the carton at his shell where it explodes, sending melting ice cream drizzle all over him.

“Zoe run!” Exodus shrieks as Raph wheels around, snatches me up and throws me over his shoulder.

Before I know it I find myself dropped on my butt in the middle of the dojo with him standing over me, with ice cream drizzle, from his shell, smeared all over my shirt. A cat like hiss escapes my chest as I move to get to my feet and he sweeps them from under me.

“Stop it Raph! At least let me off the floor so we can talk about this!” My voice is small against the rising animal noises I’m making. I make a conscious effort to control the beast within me and move to get off the floor again. As his foot comes towards me for another leg sweep I grab it and yank him onto his shell. As he moves to roll to his feet, I’m already on mine and placing my foot at his throat. He wraps his hand around my ankle and sends me crashing to the floor beside him. Now we both move to our feet and stand glaring at each other. “What is going on with you and why can’t we just talk about it like a normal couple? Why do you have to get all pouty and mean? We haven’t even disagreed about anything!”

His eyes narrow, a deep frown stamped on his face. “We’re not a couple and I don’t want to talk about it.”

Unclenching my fists, I close the space between us, so close the energy radiates off him and into me. His gaze is set to the floor, arms crossed. My anger melts away as the closeness of him warms my heart. _How can I be so soothed by someone I’m fighting with? Someone who’s anger would terrify any sane person._ As I reach up with my left hand to stroke his right cheek I place my lips gently against the side of his face. “Just because Sensei is making me go to school, my feelings for you won’t change.”

His eyes clamp shut and he shivers. “Maybe they should,” his voice trembles.

“I wish you’d stop doing this at every turn. You’re still holding on to the whole _you’re a turtle_ and I’m not thing.” There’s an ache in my chest and a lump in my throat because I know what I have to say next and it hurts already. “Raphael, if you can’t get past this, there’s nowhere for us to go. When the day comes that your feelings, your emotions, outweigh our differences… well I hope it’s not too late for us. But I can’t keep opening my heart to you, only for you to shut down on me, when nothing has actually happened to us. I’ve done nothing, you’re acting on fear.”

He stiffens, “I’m not scared.”

I scoff, “ _Yeah_ , you are.” I place my hand against the center of his plastron and try to fix the feel of scuffed keratin into my memory. After this conversation I don’t know if I’ll ever…

His large hand wraps around mine, pulling me so close my body brushes against his and he looks me in the eye, “I’m trying Zoe. This…” his other hand appears between us, waving back and forth, “you and me, it ain’t easy.”

“You make it more difficult than it has to be.” I just want to wrap my arms around him and tell him it will be alright, if he would just let it be. But at the same time, he needs to figure this out without my coaxing him along.

His jaw flexes as his eyes shut again and he breathes me in.

“Raph don’t kill her!” Mikey barges into the dojo, followed by X.

Raph and I groan.

“I’m not gonna kill her Mikey,” Raph releases me and yet again I’m left wondering where we stand. He keeps flipping on me easier than a darn light switch.

“Zoe, my dad’s ready to take us shopping.” April’s head appears behind Exodus.

I sigh and follow her to the lair door, not looking back.

XXX

“Did your dad seriously just give you his credit card and turn us loose?” Exodus leapt toward a display of brilliantly colored scarves, wrapping an orange one with yellow daisies on it around her neck.

“Yes, but we have a spending limit _and_ a shopping list.” April reaches into the pocket of her denim cutoffs and pulls out a folded piece of paper. “Oh and here, Donnie gave me your T-Phone Zoe, he said it’s fixed.”

As she handed me the shell shaped phone I realized that I may have missed messages from Hunter. We had a regular scheduled meeting time and place, but sometimes stuff came up, and we’d have to move things forward or back. “Thanks April.”

I looked down at the blank screen and hit the power button. As it lit up, Donatello’s face looked back at me. _What the-_

“What is it Zoe?” Karai leaned over my shoulder and April leaned forward. Exodus had put on a ridiculous pair of horn rimmed sunglasses, along with a floppy beach hat and she brushed up against my side to get a look.

“Hi Zoe, meet your new T-Phone. In order to use it, you’ll need to answer a very serious question.” It was a recorded message. Donnie was clearly trying not to grin, “Just type in your answer and you should be all set.” The corner of his mouth quirked up and I can’t believe what he said next.

“Who’s your Daddy?” His eye ridges wagged, kind of the way Casey’s usually did when he was being clever.

“What?” I gasp, staring at the screen. “What the-”

“Is he serious?” April thrust her hands on her hips.

“Oh no, he didn’t,” Karai gasped before clamping a hand over her mouth.

“Oh yes, he did.” Exodus giggled.

“Wow.” I blinked, “Oh, ohhhh, oh no. This is him getting me back for messing with his stuff.” I rolled my eyes.

“Well I guess we know the answer to his question.” April seemed upset.

“I definitely get the lesson.” I mumble, tapping the screen so the keyboard pops up.

“What’s that?” Exodus asks, the rim of the hat scratching my cheek.

I waved her back. “Not to mess with the tech guy. He kind of has a lot of control over our lives.”

“You can say that again.” Karai says as I type in _Donatello_ and hit enter.

The video message disappears and my home screen pops up, with a picture of Raph.

“What? What all did he do to this phone?” I yelp as the girls start laughing. “Stop! Stop it you guys! Oh my God, how do I change it?”

April gasps for a breath, “I don’t know if you can, Donnie sets everything up. Here let me look at it.”

She looks at it, presses a few keys then stops.

“What’s wrong April?”

“Are you sure you _want_ me to change it?” She bites her lip and looks at me, her blue eyes shining.

Where I should be feeling the giddiness of a girl, as crazy about a guy, as I am Raph, I don’t. I feel confused. Do I want his picture there, yeah, I love looking at him. Do I want _him_ to see it? _Shell no._

“You know there’s a pic of you on his phone, right?” Karai says casually, playing with a cobalt blue scarf.

“What?” My head jerks in her direction. _I didn’t even know he had a picture of me._

“Yeah, but I don’t think he wants you to know that, and Donnie didn’t do it.” Karai wraps the scarf around her neck.

“He’s really into you Zoe.” X says dreamily, as she placed the hat back on its display.

I sigh, “I’m really into him too.” April hands me the phone back without changing the picture. “So, what’s the problem?”

“Honestly, he’s insecure.” I shake my head and try to change the subject, “Enough about me. It’s not like you three don’t have your own turtles to worry about. Leo’s obviously nuts about you Karai, and Donnie’s head over heels for you April and Mikey is wild about you X.”

“Oh, I know. Mikey and I are totally together.” Exodus shrugs.

Karai, April and I groan.

“At least somebody has it together.” I say, tugging off my rubber band to play with my hair.

“Who would’ve thought it’d be Mikey?” Karai sighed hanging the scarf back up.

“Why don’t you just make a move on Leo?” I ask her.

Before she can answer my phone vibrates in my pocket, followed by a loud obnoxious melody, “What does the fox say? Ring-ding-ding-ding-”

“That is awful! Hurry, answer it, make it stop!” Karai screeches, clamping her hands over her ears.

I look down at the horrendous sounding device, “I can’t, it’s a text!”

“Ring-ding-ding-ding-ding-” “Well, try opening the message and see if that makes it stop!” April grimaces.

I touch the envelope and as the message opened the sound faded.

 **Donatello:** Hope your enjoying your new phone Zoe :P

“Grrrr,” I snarl. “April tell me you can change this, please!”

She took the phone from me again, hit menu and frowned, “Uh, Zoe, he’s password protected the ability to make changes.”

I palmed my face, “Of course he has.” I shook my head, “Girls, don’t ever piss off Donnie.”

“Yikes.” Exodus pink mouth twisted and she flinched, “Got it.”

My phone buzzed and the damn ringtone started up again, “Ring-ding-ding-ding- What does the Fox say?” My teeth set on edge. _I’m going to break this darn thing, and I just got it._

 **Donatello:** So, do you like it?

 _Breathe in through your nose, out through your nose, in through your nose… I’m not going to throw it. Not going to throw it._ I tap the screen and a keyboard pops up. I press N and O and hit enter. Then I look at the screen.

 **Zoe:** Donnie is king.

“Oh, no! Seriously?” I yelp.

April looks over my shoulder and turns a deep shade of pink.

 **Donatello:** Why Zoe, I didn’t know you felt that way.

I tap the keyboard, N and O.

 **Zoe:** Donnie is king.

Then I try to type, MAKE IT STOP. I’ll NEVER TOUCH YOUR STUFF AGAIN. JUST MAKE IT STOP and hit enter.

 **Zoe:** I have a crush on Raph. I have a crush on Raph. I have a crush on Raph.

“Okay, I am officially horrified.” I rub my face.

Karai grabs my hand, holding the phone, and lowers it down so she can see it. “Wow. He really got you good.”

 **Donatello:** Well I’ll be sure to tell him.

“No!” I shriek and immediately start typing. N and O.

 **Zoe:** Donnie is king.

N and O.

 **Zoe:** Donnie is king.

N and O.

 **Zoe:** Donnie is king.

 **Donatello:** Ha, ha, ha. See you when you get home Zoe. ;)

 


	35. Chapter 35

**Thursday**

**Zoe**

**Ho Hey**

_So show me family_

_All the blood that I will bleed_

_I don’t know where I belong_

_I don’t know where I went wrong_

~ The Lumineers ~

 

 

Before I climbed into bed last night, I had conducted my now regular nightly search for spiders, taking note that both Karai and Exodus did too. Judging by Karai’s alarm clock, the sun would be coming up soon. _I guess I’ll get to see sunrise again now. This time tomorrow I’ll be getting ready to walk to school. Ugh, that’s going to suck without a doubt. Like I have time to fit homework in with all the training we do, and patrols._ _When’s a girl supposed to have any fun? And what kind of fun can I have, that won’t get me stuck in the Ha-Shi?_

 

I reached for my Ipod as my thoughts drifted to Raphael. I’ve been meaning to add a song since yesterday’s fight. Quickly I searched for Hot and Cold by Katy Perry and added it to my Team Playlist. It was getting to be a long list. _How could love be such a complicated mess? Love? Do I love him? Wow, I can’t even think about that right now._ We have way too many issues we need to get sorted out. He can’t even make up his mind as to whether or not he _likes_ me. Well that not true, I feel pretty confident that he does. He’s just, well Raph. And I’m… me. We’re not exactly leading the most normal teenage lives. But those little moments, the ones where we’re sharing ice cream, having a food fight, sticking bugs in each other’s rooms, or stealing a moment alone in the wee hours of the morning. I wouldn’t trade them for anything... Well maybe the spider part _and_ the food fight was pretty gross… but definitely not the stolen moments.

 

Thankfully Donatello had accepted my second, heartfelt apology for messing with his stuff, and changed everything on my phone. _Well almost everything._ I kept Raph’s picture as my home screen and when I whispered to Donnie (even though we were alone in his lab) not to change it, his brown eyes sparkled.

 

_“You really do like him, don’t you?” He asked as he re-programmed the phone, his pink tongue peeking out the corner of his mouth thoughtfully as he unscrewed the back of it._

_“Yes. It’s not like that’s a big secret.” I sigh, slumping back in the rolling chair._

_“Then why do you seem so bummed?” He motioned for me to hand him a screw, which I did._

_“He’s hung up on our differences,” I grumbled staring at the concrete floor._

_“That’s crap.” He said flatly._

_My head whipped up to look at him. “What?”_

_“He’s scared. No one’s ever made him feel the way you do Zoe, and you know he likes to be the tough guy.”_

_“Donnie these aren’t my problems. They’re his.”_

_“Put yourself in his position. A beautiful girl says she likes him, but he’s big and green and has a shell on his back. And while there’s no one just like him, there’s a million more options for this very special girl. Ones that he probably thinks are better for you. Our lives aren’t simple. Just knowing us brings danger to those we care about. You know that. He’s trying to look out for you.” Donnie’s eyes narrow, “If he was selfish, he’d go for it and not look back, just holding on for the ride for however long it lasts” his voice dropped, “I know I would.”_

_My hand wrapped around his and he dropped the screw driver, “Since when is anyone’s life easy? And there’s not a million more like me, or options for me. There’s only a handful of hybrids and we have the same enemies you do. Besides I’m not falling for them. I’m crazy about your brother and I wish… I wish he would be selfish about this. I think it’d be a really long ride if he’d just commit to it.”_

_He placed the phone in my hand and gave me his soft sweet smile. “Hang in there with him Zoe. He’s teetering on the edge right now, but he’s tipping in your direction.”_

_I nod, “One more thing Donnie.”_

_“Yes Zoe?”_

_“If you want to get anywhere with April, you’ve got to tell her how you feel. Ask her to listen to what you have to say. But you’ve also got to be prepared for whatever she says in return. You never know. And if for any reason she doesn’t decide to get on this crazy ride with you, she’s nuts. You’re worth it.”_

_“What about Casey?”_

_“What about Casey? He’s a nice guy at heart, only I’m sure there’s more just like him. But there’s not another Donatello in the whole world and she’d be a fool to pass you up.”_

_“Thanks Zoe.”_

_“Let’s go beat up your brothers.”_

_“We can try.”_

_I laughed, “That’s the moral of the story Don, it’s all we can do.”_

_“What’s that?”_

_“Try.”_

It was the first heart to heart I’d had with Donnie and I hoped that even after we were ungrounded that there’d be more. I’d gone to Mikey a few times and I probably would again, he was insightful and perceptive, more than he was given credit for. But if Mikey wasn’t around, Donnie would most certainly do. Leo on the other hand… I might end up with a well intended lecture. But if I was desperate, he’d definitely try to help me out. _Huh._ My chest felt all warm inside and my heart-ached a bit as I realized... _These guys are important to me. Crap. I’m getting attached to his family._

 

My phone vibrated and I picked it up. I had a message.

 

 **Hunter:** 7:00 at the docks come prepared.

 

 **Zoe:** That’s too early, make it 10?

 

 **Hunter:** 7:00 and don’t be late.

 

 **Zoe:** Please Hunter, I have to sneak out and it’s going to be hard enough at 10.

 

 **Hunter:** Why don’t you just come live with me? I have plenty of work for you.

 

_Uh, no way. Even going to high school was a better option than living with Hunter._

 

 **Zoe:** No thanks.I’lltry to be there at 7. Let me see what I can do. I’ll text you as soon as I know something.

**Hunter:** Make it happen Zoe.

_How am I supposed to do that?_ We had dinner at six and then chores. I’d have to miss patrol too. _How am I going to get out of that? Unless… I could go now._ If I went now, the boys couldn’t come after me until it got dark. But that wouldn’t stop Karai. X would wait and do whatever Sensei and Leo say… April may or may not. I don’t want everyone freaking out. But then this is the first Thursday since they’ve found out. I’m sure it will come up today. And I know Leo has no intention of letting me go alone, if at all. Oh the trouble I will be in when I get home.

I reluctantly slip from beneath the warmth of my pink blanket, the familiar sting of cold morning air makes me want to turn and crawl back in the bed. _I wonder what it’s like to just lie in, to not get up in the morning and train... to just worry about whatever it is that normal kids worry about._

Carefully shifting my weight to remain as silent as possible, I locate a pair of yoga pants, a sports bra and a pine-green boxy sweatshirt. Next I find my duffel and shove in my silver bodysuit and mask. Then I tugged on my sneakers, laced them tight and crept out of the bedroom. I made my way to the dojo for my weapons bag.

 

 _I knew it was a good decision to keep this thing packed and ready._ The black bag wasn’t light by any means. It held a variety of tools of my trade, rope, lock picking kits, shuriken, among other items. As I grabbed my twin tessen, then bow and arrows and shoved them in the bag, an uncomfortable knot tightened around my stomach. _Not having second thoughts now, Zoe. Just go._

 

Slinking through the darkness of the lair and into the dank sewer tunnel, I breathed a sigh of relief. Sneaking out of a houseful of ninjas was no easy task. _I just hope Sensei lets me stay when I come home tonight._ The tunnels are even colder than the lair and I wish that for once I would’ve remembered my jacket. It was going to be a long frigid day. _Hmmm, maybe I could go to Casey’s. He might not rat me out. Maybe._

 

As I slip the manhole cover away and climb street-side, close to Casey’s apartment, the knot in my stomach began to feel like a rock, a very heavy boulder. I swallowed the excess saliva and the lump in the back of my throat. _What is my problem?_ Tugging my T-Phone out of my pocket I glanced at the time, almost six thirty. Casey should be getting ready for school. I made my way to the bench in front of his apartment building, sat down and set up a text.

 

 **Zoe:** Hi Casey.

 

What else do I say, to the guy I likes best friend, who I’ve never really had a private conversation with? Minutes pass and I start to think he’s still sleeping. After all who knows how late he was out hunting criminals and mutants with Raph last night. Well I think Raph made it home by curfew. I’m not really sure, we hadn’t talked since our spat and the girls and I had been home right on-time with Mr. O’Neil after school supply shopping. My phone jittered in my hand.

 

 **Casey:** Uh, Z, why u txtin me?

 

I heaved a sigh and huddled against a freezing, bitter rush of wind.

 

 **Zoe:** Can I come in? It’s freezing out here.

 

Curtains suddenly shifted in Casey’s bedroom window.

 

 **Casey:** R U OK?

 

_Geez, Casey, come on already._

 

 **Zoe:** Just freezing.

 

The door to his building opened and Casey came out, glancing around him like I’d set a trap and was luring him in. I rolled my eyes.

 

“No one knows I’m here Casey.”

 

“Come in Z, my Dad’s gone to work, took my lil sister ta daycare.”

 

He waves at me and I follow him inside the run down building, and up three flights of stairs before he leads me in his tiny apartment.

 

“I’m not showin’ you my room, Raph’ll kill me.”

 

I laugh, “Not thinking he cares too much right now Case. Anyway, I just need a place to stay warm until tonight. You don’t look dressed for school, are you cutting?”

 

“I got up late.” He shrugged, and I realized he wasn’t even dressed yet. He’d put on a pair of black jeans with the knee ripped on one side. But he was wearing a white, short sleeve t-shirt, instead of the layered look he usually had on. He motioned to the kitchen, “You hungry?”

 

“Eh, what’ve you got?” I follow him into the tiny corner space and he points to a chair at a small round table. I plop down and he tosses me an apple. “Mmm, this will work.”

 

“Raph says you eat healthy stuff a lot,” he shrugs again then pulls out a Pop-Tart, “You don’t want one of these too do ya?”

 

“Nope,” I smile, “So Raph talks about me huh?”

 

“That depends, does April talk about me?” Casey plops down in the chair next to me and proceeds to shove almost the entire pastry in his mouth.

 

  1. I close my eyes, shake the image from head and then open them to see a mouthful of Pop-Tart rolling around as he talks.  



 

“What’grmmm’re ya doin’ herrrggrmmme Z?”

 

_Right. Stick with Donnie, April._

 

While deciding how I will answer him, my phone starts to buzz.

 

 **Raph:** Where you at?

 

I glance at the time and groan. It’s seven-thirty already? The whole lair is up by now. Right as I’m ready to answer him another message comes through.

 

 **Donnie:** Zoe, are you okay?  


And then another.

 

 **Karai:** If you’ve gone to meet Hunter I will kick your…

 

_Okay Karai._

 

And yet another.

 

 **Mikey:** Zoe, X and I are worried about you. Please come home.

 

_Seriously, am I going to get a text from everyone in the lair?_

 

 **Leo:** Zoe, what are you doing? Please let us help you.

 

I heave a massive sigh, set the phone down and bury my face in my hands.

 

“That thing’s really goin’ off. What’s goin’ on?” Casey’s dark brows snap together and he looks from me to the phone and back.

 

And then his, phone starts bouncing across the table.

_Oh, no._

 

He reaches for it and I grab his hand. His head jerks in my direction, “What’s goin’ on Zoe?”

 

My phone starts up again, only now it’s ringing.

 

Casey’s face darkens, his lips pursed, eyes narrowed as he tugs his hand from mine and looks at his phone. “Why’s Raph askin’ me if I’ve seen ya?”

 

Taking a deep breath I swallow and press a button on the phone to make it stop ringing. As I launch into the story, I’m surprised to find that Casey already knows most of it, and I start to wonder just how much Raph talks about me.

 

“You should tell him you’re ok. If you don’t I will.” He taps the screen on his phone and moves to type out a text.

 

“I’m going to do it now Casey.” “Raph’s my friend Z. I ain’t gonna lie to him.”

 

“Well I wasn’t going to ask you to. But I guess I won’t be able to stay here either. I don’t want any of them coming for me. Oh, crap, Raph knows my meeting spot. He’ll show up there tonight. But not if I meet Hunter at seven, it will be too early for any of the guys to be out.”

 

“This is crazy Zoe, you shouldn’t be doin’ this by yourself.” Casey shakes his head and pecks out a message.

 

“What are you telling him?”

 

“That you’re with me and your ok.”

 

I nod and stand up from the table.

 

“Sit down Z, you can stay here. But you gotta tell’em you’re ok.”

 

“Why? Isn’t that what you’re doing?”

 

“They should hear from you.”

 

“I guess you’re right.” I sigh and slump back down in the chair.

 

 **Zoe to Team:** I’m fine. I’ll be home tonight.

 

 **Team:** Come home now!

 

 **Zoe to Team:** Sorry, guys, this girl’s got responsibilities.

 

 **Leo:** We’re a team, we share in that responsibility. Let us help you.

 

 **Zoe:** Leo, please stop. I’ll be fine. This isn’t my first solo mission.

 

 **Raph:** Are you insane?

 

 **Zoe:** Yep, nuts. Do you care?

 

 **Raph:** Don’t make me come up there.

 

I snort.

 

“What?” Casey’s been zapping texts back and forth too and he stops to look at me.

 

“Nothing. Your best friend drives me nuts. He acts like he cares one minute and couldn’t get far enough away the next.” I hit the power button on my phone and shove it in my weapons bag.

 

“What’s in there?” Casey’s dark mop of hair falls in his eyes as he glances down at my bag.

 

I reach into a side pocket and pull out a small, garnet ring and slip it on my right hand. _This may come in handy later._ “Weapons.”

 

“Figures. Not much for the girly stuff are ya Z?”

 

 _Maybe I’ll just use it right now._ “Well this is jewelry.”

 

“You carry a bag of weapons.” He scoffs, “Don’t bring that to school tomorrow. You won’t get past security at the metal detectors.”

 

I frown, “School is going to suck.”

 

Casey laughs, “No more than life when you get home tonight.”

 

“Yeah, I’m sure of that.”

 

His phone buzzes again. He glances at it and then me, “Wow, you are seriously in for it Z. I think you should turn your phone back on.” He shows me the screen on his cell.

 

 **Raph:** Tell her to turn her phone back on right now or I’m leaving the lair in the next sixty seconds. Not joking Casey.

 

“Seriously. Ugh, this is going to be a long day.” I turn my phone back on and a barrage of questioning texts roll through before it starts jittering again.

 

Casey holds his phone in front of me.

 

 **Raph:** Tell her to answer the phone or I swear I’ll pound you both.

 

“Chill out. Geez,” I roll my eyes and slide my finger across the screen.

 

“What are you thinking? Come home! We’re in this together Zoe! You’re going to get hurt or worse! I will come up there! Don’t make me come up there and risk the safety of our family! I can’t believe-”

 

If he’d stop screaming at me I might get a chance to respond. But it doesn’t sound like that’s going to happen. So I hang up.

 

“Did you just?” Casey’s mouth is hanging open.

 

“Well how am I supposed to even get a word in? And I’m sure not going to just listen to that.”

 

My phone starts up again.

 

“Oh, please, Raphael, chill out.”

 

 **Raph:** Answer the phone and DO NOT EVER HANG UP ON ME AGAIN. EVER.

 

 **Zoe:** Fine. Stop yelling at me and I will.

 

 **Raph:** Fine.

 

A few seconds later it rings again.

 

“Hello?” I answer sweetly.

 

His voice is edged in panic but drenched in fury, “Come home.”

 

“Would you just calm down? I’m at Casey’s. I’m fine. This is not a big deal Raphael. It’s not even my first job. I’m no rookie and we need these meds. I wasn’t going to try to argue with you guys all day about this. I’m going and I work solo.” The confidence in my voice trails off as his silence, his letting me speak, somehow moves me. _This isn’t easy for him._ “Besides, you’re telling me to come home Raph, but it’s your home. Sometimes I don’t know if I really belong there.”

 

“Are you done?” His voice is so eerily calm and controlled it sends a shiver throughout me.

 

_How can he affect me this way over the phone?_

 

There’s silence for a few minutes and I realize he’s waiting for an answer.

 

“Yes,” I squeak. _Wow, what happened to my voice?_

 

“Good. This is your home. You are part of this family. So don’t let me hear you say another thing about that. It’s not up for debate. That’s crap and I’m not going there with you. Do you understand me?”

 

 _Okay, he’s scares me more over the phone than he does in person._ I swallow a lump in my throat, “Yes.” Then somehow I find some of my sass, “But if we’re family, that would make you like my brother and we-”

 

“Zoe.” He interrupts me with a single word, my name, and the tone of his voice is so unlike I’ve ever heard before, I shut up. But again he’s apparently waiting for my reply.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Knock. It. Off.”

 

“Okay.”

 

_How is he doing this? Why am I able to control the way the conversation goes in front of him, but I’m helpless over the darn phone? This isn’t good._

 

“Now. Come home before this goes all wrong and someone gets hurt.”

“I can’t Raph. I’m in too deep. Hunter isn’t someone you just walk away from. I honestly don’t know how I’m ever going to get out. We need the meds and-”

The phone goes dead.

“What the?”

Casey stands up and makes his way to the window then pushes up the sash.

_Oh, no._

I stand up, shoving my chair back as my heart begins to pound.

_I totally fell for that. Crap._

Raph climbs in through the window and seeing me consider bolting for a half a second, marches over to block the doorway to the kitchen. His green eyes are flaming, “What’re you doing?”

“Tell me you came alone.” I manage as he steps closer to me and I inch back, almost tripping over the chair. I shove it in and find my back pressed against the wall with him glaring down at me. Daring to glance away from the intensity that is Raphael, I see Casey still standing by the window.

“I’m just gonna go take a shower.” He points toward the hallway, before making his exit.

“Look at me Zoe.” Raph’s eyes have never left my face and I bite my lip and meet his gaze. “Good. Now. Sit.” He points to the chair.

“No.” I manage.

His teeth are clenched, “Sit.”

 _I knew today was going to suck. I knew it._ “I can’t move Raph, you’ve got me pinned against a wall. Maybe you’d like to take a step back and have a seat yourself?”

He squints, drawing his mouth down, keeping his eyes on me as he backs up a step.

“Oh for crying out loud, I’m not going to run.” I roll my eyes and sit, arms crossed in the chair.

“You’ve already thought about it, the second you realized what was happenin’.” He sits down in the chair Casey had sat in, and his leathery scent drifts toward me. _He smells so good. I could just breathe him in all day. But instead we’re going to fight. Yay._

“Whatever.” I shake my head, trying to stop smelling him, it’s distracting. “What are you doing here?”

“Bringing you home,” he has one arm across his plastron, the other hand he waves at me.

“I can’t believe you came out in broad daylight.”

“I can’t believe you snuck out on us.”

“I didn’t want to fight about this. I have to do this Raphael.”

“Not alone you don’t.” He shakes his head and looks at me.

I stare at him. He’s so beautiful I can’t think straight. What I really want, is to give him whatever he wants, right now. And I’d really like to spend some time just having fun with him. “Are you mad at me?”

He throws his head back and gives me an incredulous look, “Are you nuts? Yes! If you were one of my brothers I’d be giving you a good beat down right now. I can’t believe you’re being so stupid.”

“Don’t call me stupid.” I gnaw on my lip and lay may hand, palm up on the table. “This isn’t a very productive conversation Raph. I’m not going home till I’m done and you can’t go with me.”

“Oh it’s not an option Zoe. If you don’t go home with me, I’m going with you.” He taps the table with his finger for emphasis but leaves his hand to rest near mine.

The corners of my mouth hurt, my frown is so deep, tears threaten my eyes but I blink them back and swallow the lump in my throat. “I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

He leans toward me, bringing his arm to rest on the table, and his finger wraps around mine. “And I don’t want anything to happen to you. Let our family do this together Zoe, it’s how we do things. That’s how this works.”

Pink and green fingers, intertwined, looking kind of like yin and yang, only I couldn’t tell you which of us is which. I stare at our hands, his large thick finger wrapped around my tiny, slender one. “Does everyone else know where you are?”

“Yes. Donnie thought he should come since he’s your partner this week, but Sensei only agreed for me to come.” He hesitated, “He said something about-” His eyes narrowed and he looked away.

“About what?” My voice is soft and some of the tension between us fades.

“It was stupid. The point is he let me come instead. You know how much trouble you’re in?” He’s staring toward the kitchen cabinets.

“You wanted to come.”

It’s not fair for me to read him, it really isn’t. But I turn my energy to our tightly clasped fingers and reach for his chi.

“Stop it Zoe, I know what you’re doin.” He shifts his gaze to my face and releases my finger.

_Fine then._

“So what’s the plan Raph? Are we waiting here for our entire team to meet up with us?”

_That is so not happening. There’s no way I’m dragging eight other teenagers along on a mission. Hunter will find out and it would be bad for everyone._

“I need to call Donnie. That jerk you work for will know we’re there if we don’t have a plan.”

I stand up, step behind him, then flipping the cap on my ring, I kneel down, and just as he twists around to look at me I blow powder into his face.

“Zoe what are you-” his eyes roll back in his head and he starts to slide out of his chair. Getting behind him I lower him gently to the floor. “Sorry, Raph, I won’t risk anything happening to any of you.” I kiss his cheek, grab my bag and phone and head out onto the fire escape.

XXX

The wind whips stray red hair across my face as I pace before my favorite bench and peck out a text.

 **Zoe:** I’m early. Had to sneak away when I had the chance. At the meeting spot. Can’t stay here. Need to meet elsewhere.

 **Hunter:** Wonderful. We can spend the day together. I have some clients I’d like you to meet.

My heart sinks.

 **Zoe:** No. I’ll meet you at the scheduled time. I just need a different location. I have to drop this phone.

“Glad you came early. I won’t take no for an answer. Come with me.” I turn around and Hunter’s standing there, his cruel green eyes looking me over.

 _How’d he get here so fast?_ My eyes scan over the surrounding buildings. _He must have an office in one of them._ I grab my bag from the bench, hauling it on my shoulder. His perfectly manicured hand reaches up and I see something wrapped around his index. He wraps his finger around my neck and presses. I feel a sting right before my whole world goes dark.


	36. Chapter 36

**Raphael**

“I don’t know Donnie! I got outta the shower and Raph was lying on the kitchen floor and Zoe’s gone. He’s out cold!”

Casey’s panic stricken voice cuts through the fog in my head.

“I ain’t out cold,” I groan, “not anymore anyway.”

“Oh! He’s waking up! Water, got it. Okay, we’ll call you back.” Casey throws his phone down on the table so hard I wouldn’t be surprised if it broke, “Raph, you ok Buddy? Donnie said you needed water.”

I hear the tap running and the next thing I know cold water is splashed all over my face.

“What the- what’re you doin’ Case?” I sit up and wipe my face.

“He said you needed water!”

“He probably meant to drink.” I flung excess liquid off my hands and glared at him. Well, I tried to anyway. Everything was still shifting in and out of focus.

“Right!”

I watch as he runs water again and hands me a glass. As I sip it the world slowly stops spinning and I can see clearly again, “She hit me with sleeping powder. That brat, she’s so gonna get it.”

“You’ll have to find her first Raph. Donnie’s tracked her T-Phone to a-”

“Bench by the docks. That’s where she meets him. Remember that day we saw her?”

“Yeah.” Casey took the empty glass from me and put it in the sink.

“What time is it?” I ask, as I climb to my feet.

“Lunchtime.” Casey answers, sticking his head in the fridge.

“How can you eat at a time like this?” _He’s no better than Mikey._ My T-Phone buzzes and I answer it, “Raph.”

“Good, you’re awake. You have a nice nap?” Donnie jokes and I want to hit him.

“Shut up Don. What’s going on?”

It was Donnie that outfitted the girls with kunoichi-trade secret weapons. Sleeping powder instead of poison was Zoe’s first pick of the new arsenal. _I should’ve known better._ As if reading my mind, my brother’s voice interrupts my thoughts.

“You keep underestimating her Raph.”

“Thank you Captain Obvious. What’s the plan?” I start pacing the apartment.

“Karai, Exodus and April are on their way to scout the bench. Somehow I doubt that Zoe is going to sit on the same bench for the next six hours.”

“What makes you think six hours?”

“I downloaded her messages and read them. She was supposed to meet Hunter at seven. That’s one reason. The other is that she checked in with him early and he said he had someone he wanted her to meet and they could spend the day together.” Donnie hesitated.

“What?”

“He wants her to live with him.”

My heart sank. _If I’m going to lose her to anyone, it’s not going to be him._ I try to clear the ache from my throat, “What’d she say?”

“No. What’d you think she was going to say?” He snorted then made this annoying falsetto voice, “Oh, yes, I’d love to come do your bidding!”

“Shut up Don. You know you’re really getting sound like-”

“What, _you_ or _Zoe_? She really likes you Raph and she’s pretty awesome. So don’t blow it.”

“Why does everyone want to talk about me and Zoe? Can’t we just save her from her from getting herself hurt and then let us deal with our own crap?”

“Sure Raph.”

“Great.” I snap.

“Fine.” He bites back.

“Good.” I grit my teeth.

“She is pretty awesome.” Donnie says again.

“Yeah she is.”

“So we save her then?”

“Yep. Question is, how?” I stop pacing, eager to hear the plan.

“We wait till she gets home, or until she asks us for help.”

“What?” I yell.

_That can’t be the plan!_

“You heard me. And Leo and Sensei agree. She doesn’t want our help right now and she’s smart Raph.”

“You call this smart?”

“It’s not her first mission. And yes, she’s smart. And Raph-”

“Yeah?”

“Smart people know when to ask for help.”

“But how? If the girls find her phone, how will she be able to-”

“I’ve already got it covered Raph. We’ll be here and ready to go if she needs us. Sensei said you should stay at Casey’s until it gets dark. The girls are going to come there and check in after they search for the phone.”

My jaw hurts from clenching so hard. “This sucks.”

“Which part?”

“The whole thing- but mostly the way this hurts.”

“What hurts?”

“I dunno, maybe that sleeping powder had side effects. My head and chest hurt.”

“When did that start?”

I scoff, “When I met Zoe.”

“I think that’s called love Raph.”

And then he hung up.


	37. Chapter 37

**Zoe**

Waking up in a different place than the one you were last in is disorienting and honestly terrifying. I open my eyes to a well lit room with a high ceiling and a glass wall overlooking the bay. _Well he didn’t take me very far. Why’d he knock me out?_ I’m lying on a plush white couch facing the windows. There’s a glass of water sitting on the glass top coffee table in front of me. I rub my face, sit up and look around.

Hunter is sitting at a bar counter in the center of the room, where an island kitchen resides. “Good afternoon _Princess_.”

Suddenly I feel sick. I grab the glass of water and chug it to relieve myself of the nausea.

“We were going to have dinner with my client, but it seems that you have some information that he’s very interested in.” He holds up my T-Phone and my heart lurches.

_Oh, no. I could’ve told it to self destruct if I wasn’t out cold! Who knows what he was able to get off of it._

“Where’ve you been staying Zoe?”

Ignoring his question, I ask one of my own. “So what’d you get off the phone? Did it tell you everything you want to know?”

“This design is impressive, but obvious,” he grins. “Actually when I touched the screen the thing near exploded in my hand. But I can tell who you got it from, just by looking at it. I mean a shell shape?” He laughs, “You’ve been staying with those reptiles Shredder’s been looking for haven’t you?” He stands up and moves towards me, I swallow and step back, bumping into the coffee table. “Is Karai there too? He wants her as bad as he wants you,” he cackled, “but not as bad as he wants _them_.”

His movements are jerky, his eyes menacing as he reaches out a hand and strokes my cheek. I shudder beneath his touch. “I made a good deal Zoe. I was going to give him you, I mean I’d like to keep you here with me, but he was willing to pay so much. But this,” he waved the phone before me, “this was perfect. He’ll pay me what he was going to for you, just to get his hands on one of them. And _you_ get to stay with _me_.”

_Nothing’s happening to those boys and definitely not because of me. Time to woman up._

I step towards him, surprising him enough that he takes a step back. “No Hunter, there’s no deals. I steal things for you. That’s it. You pay me in medicine and we’re done. Simple. Why do you have to get greedy and complicate this?”

“You’ll bring me at least one of them and you’ll do whatever I say.” He says it with such confidence that I realize he must have something on me. _But what?_

“And why would I?”

“Because you need the cure that you stole for me on your last job,” he smiles triumphantly, clasping his fingers together and wiggling them, then holding them before his mouth and squealing with disgusting delight.

“Cure?” My knees feel weak. I grip the edge of the couch and lean against it.

“Yes, I had to test it, to be sure, but it’s a cure…” He wags his blonde eyebrows, “for what ails you and your friends.”

I’m so lightheaded that my eyes dare close, even with my enemy standing over me. _There’s a cure. Exodus and April and even me, we could all be free of him, of medicines. We could be free. But at what cost? Raphael or one of his brothers?_ My teeth clench, my hands balling into fists at my sides. _Not a chance._

“We’re through Hunter. I’ll never betray them. Not a one,” It’s not a question. It’s not something I need to consider. Not after all they’ve done for me, given me a place to sleep, food to eat, safety, comfort, a home, a family, even love. _Raphael was right. They are my family and I love them._

“It’s not a question Zoe. They’ll come for you and when they do, all I have to do is catch one.”

He’s such an idiot. His arrogance will be his downfall and I’ll just help him right over the edge, even if it means I have to go down with him.

I tug my rubber-band from my hair and run my fingers through it. “Good luck with that. Since they don’t know where I’m at.”

He laughs, a shrill, coarse sound that makes me want to choke him. “You expect me to believe there’s no tracking device in this phone?”

“It exploded in your hand. You actually think it still works?” I wave him off and move toward the windows looking out over the water. It’s windy and the waves crash into one another creating white edges on the crests. The barges plow through, cutting into the mixed currents, and as I watch them the sprouts of a plan bloom in my head. I rub my hands together twisting my ring between my fingers, then let then I slide them down to the bracelet-watch Donnie made me. I depress the face of it twice. _I’m okay guys. I’ve got this… but just in case._

He wraps his arms around me and tears threaten to escape me. I make a concerted effort to breathe as I will the lump in my throat to dissolve. But the ache remains because Hunter’s cologne is so overpowering I choke for fresh air. His lips brush my ear, whispering in his chilling voice, “I think you can figure something out Zoe.” He turns, pulling me with him, “For them.” Karai, Exodus and April are bound and gagged, with guards standing over them, just inside the door to the apartment.

_If I could get a rewind and start this day over, I would. And I would’ve stayed in bed._

“Let them go Hunter,” I fling my head back, busting him in his nose.

“Zoe!” He screams, grabbing my hair and jerking me back before tossing me against the glass wall. I bounce off landing on my hands and knees, trying to get my vision back.

“I’m not scared of you Hunter. I never was and never will be!” I growl, my hands balling into fists as I thrust myself off the floor and lunge at him.

He laughs, “But you should be Zoe! You should be.”

My hand slides over top of my ring, pushing the cap back and I thrust my hand right up in his face and blow. As Hunter grabs his throat, gasps and drops, his guards charge me. Karai, Exodus and April are making squealing sounds through their bindings. There are eight guards and two of them are giants.

“Should’ve saved my sleeping powder for you,” I duck the swipe of the first red-faced bald gargantuan and his swing tells me that while he’s big he’s also slow. _Okay, I can work with slow._ I slide across the floor between his legs jabbing three pressure points on his calf that drops him to his knees. But as I roll to my feet, I’m snatched up from behind by what looks to be his twin. As I dangle with his hand around my neck and the rooms starts to get dark from lack of oxygen, I hear glass shattering and feet hitting the floor.

“Raph-”

_Leo’s voice has never sounded better._

“Already on it!”

_And neither has Raph’s._

“Mikey, the girls!”

“On it bro!”

“Donnie, get the jerk!”

“Casey, you and I get the goons!”

Raph scales this giant, bouncing off of him and spin kicking him in the back of the head. In the process the moron has dropped me and I gratefully draw in massive swallows of air. Finally the room lightens and blurs back into focus. I see Karai, April, X and Mikey fighting alongside Leo and Casey. Donnie is tying up Hunter and as Raph finishes off the giants, things seem to settle down. I scan the room.

_Where is it, where is it?_

“Let’s get out of here!” Leo yells, motioning us toward the door.

Raph grabs my hand, “Are you okay?”

“Fine. I have to find it first.” I say dazedly, scanning the room. _Where would he keep it?_

“Zoe we’ve got to go now,” He tugs on my wrist.

Hunter’s awake. He laughs cruelly, “You’ll never find it.”

Raph lets go of my hand, marches over and punches him so hard he’s knocked back out.

“Nice Raph, he knew where the cure is.”

“The what?” He, Leo and Donnie say in unison.

“Hunter said there’s a cure for our condition. It’s in those canisters we stole.”

“Eh, he wouldn’t have told us anyway.” Raph waved a dismissive hand at him, “Come on let’s get out of here.”

I run for the kitchen, throwing open drawers and cabinets.

“Raph, get her. We’ve got to go.” I hear Leo say.

“Not without it!” I yell, throwing open the refrigerator. Raph snatches me up right as I fling open the freezer. “Raph, wait, there they are!” I laugh, “There!”

Donnie’s hand appears over my shoulder, he grabs the canisters, “Let’s go.”

Raph grabs my wrist then slips his hand down over my own and tugs me along.

“What about Bozo?” Mikey asks poking Hunter with his foot.

“Leave him,” Leo shrugs.

“I have a better idea.” I grin.

X

X

**Thirty Minutes Later**

“Well that was the most fun I’ve had all day.” Mikey dusted off his hands and grinned.

“You know he’s going to come right back.” Leo raised an eye ridge and looked at me.

I nodded and smiled, “Yeah, but Mikey’s right,” I wrinkled my nose, “can you imagine waking up in all that garbage?”

Everyone laughed as we watched the barge trudge along the bay, into the sunset.

“Let’s go home.” Leo motioned with his head.

Raph stepped alongside me as we walked along. Mikey and Exodus walked hand in hand and Leo and Karai seemed to have picked up a hushed conversation. I glanced at Donnie, catching him staring at April as she walked next to Casey. Briefly he glanced over his shoulder at me and I nodded. He gave me a meek smile and took his place on her other side.

“You shouldn’t encourage him,” Raph mumbled, “even if he _was_ right.”

“What do you mean?”

Raph sighed and rubbed his face, “He’ll just get hurt. Don’t encourage him to get hurt.”

I stop walking and he stops too.

“Come on Zoe, we have to keep up.” He motions for me to go and I scoff. “What, now?”

“Cut the bull Raph. You’re supposed to be the fearless, courageous Raphael.”

He rolls his eyes, “Whatever. I’m going home.”

As he turns to walk on, I put a hand on his shoulder. To my surprise he spins around, yanking me close to him, “You’re having a hard time keeping your hands to yourself lately Z.”

I laugh and he looks confused.

“Stop trying to act all tough with me.”

“It’s not an act.”

“You guys comin’ or what?” Mikey yells at us.

Without looking away from each other we wave him on.

“No. We’ve established your Mr. Tough Guy. Yet these days it seems you’re scared of more than just cockroaches.”

He grumbles as he clenches his teeth and makes a threatening face, “Everybody needs to stop sayin’ I’m scared. I ain’t scared.”

I grin and he seems taken aback.

“What is it that you’re not scared of?” I shove a lock of red hair behind my ear and flat out flirt with him.

“Nothin.” He leans towards me, trying so hard to make a mean face, but I keep smiling at him. He snarls, “And stop lookin’ at me like that.”

“Like what?”

He waves his hand at me, “Like that, what your doin’, with your eyebrows all up and that cute little smirk on your face.”

I try to stop, but it’s hard. He’s so darn cute. But what I have to say next helps make it easier to do.

Even though I’m shivering against the cold night air, it’s invigorating, like I’m breathing the cleanest air in New York. I look up at the sky, wishing I could see the stars, but finding the murky gray and purple clouds highlighted by city lights, satisfying in their own right. “Your brother might get hurt Raph, but he’s willing to find out, to take a chance.” Tearing my gaze from the sky, I tilt my head and study his emerald green gems.

“I don’t want him to hurt.” He shakes his head, “I don’t want any of us to hurt.”

There’s a small space between us and I want badly to close it, to wrap my arms around him like I always do, but this is another chance for him to make up his mind on his own. “No one _wants_ to get hurt. It’s a chance Raphael, but that’s life. Sometimes you have to take chances. If you spend all of your time fighting them off, what are you cheating yourself out of?”

He looks away, but doesn’t move. His jaw starts doing that chewing thing and I have to hold my own hands to keep from reaching out to him.

“What was Donnie right about?” I ask, trying to somehow alleviate his troubles.

“He said that smart people know when to ask for help.” He looked at me and smiled, “He said you were smart people.”

I laughed, “Did he now?”

He took a small step toward me, “Yeah.”

“What do you think?” I bit my lip and gazed at him through my eyelashes.

His eyes drifted from mine, flickering toward my mouth and he seemed to gravitate toward me, until my shirt pressed against his plastron and his forehead pressed against mine. “I’ve already told ya,” His eyes closed as he whispered against my lips, “I think you’re crazy.”

X X X X

 **A/N:** If you’ve read this far… why haven’t you reviewed? Either you like it, or else why are you reading this much of it? *teasing, don’t get mad… that’s Raph and Zoe’s thing* J

 

 

**Thursday Night**

**Zoe**

I’ve never had a father. As a young child I was under the guidance of a ninjitsu master, a tutor, and the healthcare of a scientist, whenever I wasn’t in the field. Yes, in the field. Shredder found that children, especially young girls, could go relatively unnoticed and were the least likely to be suspected of theft. I was dressed the part of a normal girl, sent in among crowds, and made off with whatever it was my master desired. Maybe, that’s why Exodus and I were targets for Hunter. In my short years I knew how to do a few things very well. Fight and steal.

But Shredder was no father. Karai could vouch for that, and he actually called himself _her_ father. She had it a little better than I did. She didn’t reside in a lab, at the whim of a scientist. Other than that, our upbringings weren’t too different. We had the same tutors and training. When we found ourselves in the field together, she, Exodus and I would daydream about what a father might be like. What did they do? Would they listen if you needed to talk, bandage up your wounds? Did he care for you when you were sick? Hug you when you heart was breaking? What was having a father like?

After fifteen years, I was about to find out.

The second we stepped into the lair I knew, I was in trouble like I’d never been before. Master Splinter was waiting by the door. Leo had called ahead to let Sensei know we were all okay, dropping off Casey and April and then heading home.

“Was anyone harmed?” His tail flicked, ironically, the way an irritated cats would, and I found myself staring at the floor and staying close to Raphael.

Raph had held my hand for most of the walk home, which was a big deal, considering the others would have surely noticed. For once no one teased anyone else about small display of affection, and I was grateful. Raph gave my hand a reassuring squeeze before letting go. Taking away that calloused, two fingered comfort left me feeling cold and alone.

“No Sensei, we are all okay. And Zoe managed to obtain, what may be a cure for her, X and April.” Leo said, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye.  

_Was that pity? He’s sorry for me? Oh, this is so not good._

“I want to take it to my lab and run some tests. We should be sure before we give anything to them.” Donnie stepped forward and held out the canisters for Master Splinter to see.

“Very well, you are all excused.” As everyone took a step forward, his walking stick blocked my path, “Except for you Zoe, I will see you in the dojo.” He turned and walked in that direction, “Now.”

Leo actually turned around to face me, “Good luck Zoe.”

Karai frowned, “Are you ever _not_ going to be grounded?”

“Karai, she may have found a cure, it’s worth it.” Exodus smiled at me, “Thanks Zoe.”

“That’s easy for you to say Exodus.” Donnie said to her before offering me a sympathetic smile.

Mikey sounded so sad, “Yeah X, you’re not about to face the wrath of Sensei.”

Exodus’s eyes glossed over with tears, “You shouldn’t be punished at all. You did this for us.” She flung her arms around me and I sighed.

“X, it’ll be fine.” I pat her on the arm and Mikey pried her off me.

Raph shook his head, “I told you so.”

“Well thanks for that Raph,” I rolled my eyes and made my way to the dojo.

Kneeling before Splinter, I kept perfectly quiet, waiting for him to reveal my discipline. His ears twitched as he stroked the long fur under his chin, his tail wrapped around his feet, resting peacefully.

“Zoe, I have assigned you extra chores, sent you to the Ha-Shi, and grounded you. Yet none of these disciplines seem very effective with you. I spent many hours today meditating. It occurs to me that you may not understand what my role is in your life.”

He reached out a paw, resting it on my shoulder and for some reason I found a lump rising in my throat.

“Do you want this to be your home Zoe?”

My lip trembled, “Yes Sensei.”

“Do you want to be a part of this family?”

The corners of my mouth curved into the deepest frown, as I took a deep shuddering breath through my nose. I nodded my head. If I spoke, I was afraid I would break.

“I need to hear you say that.”

_Oh, Master. Please. I don’t want to cry._

“Yyyes Sensei,” I choked out.

“What do you think family means Zoe? What is home to you?”

My eyes closed as I buried my face in my hands and swallowed the lump that had built into a horrible knot, trapped in my throat.

Splinter’s paw slid down to my bicep, wrapped gently around it and I felt him pull me toward him. As his arms wrapped around me, I returned his embrace. The heat of tears brimmed my eyes, but as I opened my mouth to speak I was no match for the weight of emotions, breaking free like a cracked dam surrendering to its fault. “Feeling cared for… loved, that feels like home and family to me Sensei. That’s what being here is to me.”

He held me until I was cried out and it was the kindest, most patient hold, I think I’d ever known.

“Girls are so very different from boys,” Splinter chuckled as we released one another.

“I’m sorry I caused so much trouble today Master. Having a family, a real home, is so new to me. I’m used to being responsible for myself and I don’t know if that will ever go away. I’ve never had a safe place to fall before. I apologize if I seem ungrateful.” I tugged and twisted on a lock of hair, staring at the floor as I tried to explain myself.

“I understand Zoe. I just needed to know your feelings about us. I also need for you to understand the role of a father to his children, which is what you are to me now, my child, my daughter, like Miwa.”

“And Exodus?” I glanced at him, but switched back to the floor quickly, ashamed of questioning him when I’d caused so much trouble.

He nodded, “And Exodus,” he reached out a clawed finger and raised my chin to look at him, “If something weighs on your heart you can always speak to me about it and we will get through it together. You are not alone.”

Blasted tears, vulnerable, weak, terrible things they were. And they trickled down my cheek, traitorously. “Thank you Sensei.”

Splinter studied me for a moment, “You are so like Raphael and yet so different. You complement each other well.”

I laughed, “Sensei, have you heard us talk to each other? We fight constantly. We’re so hot and cold the waters left in our wake are lukewarm at best.”

“I see. But neither of you are water,” Splinter pat me on the shoulder and stood, “You’re fire.”

_I’m not sure what you’re getting at, but whatever, you want to try to be my Dad and I’ve never had one before so right now, you can say whatever you want._

“Zoe?”

_Oh, he just said something and I missed it._

“Yes, Sensei?”

“You have classes tomorrow. You should do your chores and get some rest.”

I held my breath, hoping that I might not be punished after all. I stood without question, bowed, and headed for the door.

“Zoe.” He sounded amused and I knew.

“Yes, Master Splinter?” I turned to face him, flashing him a sweet smile.

“You will do both yours and Raphael’s chores for the next week.”

I groaned. _More dishes, yuck_. I had to ask. “Sensei? Forgive me this one question, but why Raphael’s?”

Splinter seemed pleased with my question for once, “When it was decided this morning that someone would go for you, both Donatello and Raphael volunteered, as well as Miwa, of course. However, it was Raphael’s words that made the decision easy for me. He risked a great deal going into the light for you.”

“What did he say Master?” My pulse thrummed in my throat, my stomach taking that familiar dip and rise.

“You are his _unmei no hito_ , and as such it was his duty to go wherever you needed him to be.”

I can’t breathe. “Hhhe said that?”

“He did. Although I think he would prefer it, if you did not confront him with this information.”

“Yes, Sensei,” I gripped the door frame, my knees suddenly a puddle of goo. I looked back at Splinter, my heart pounding, “He said that you had said something to him, Master. But he would not tell me what it was.”

“I only told him that I agree, and that you are both _onkei_. I support you and will not keep you from one another.” He tapped his paw on the pommel of his walking stick, “Zoe, you are very young to have met your _unmei no hito_ , yet I have believed this myself for some time. For Raphael to have come to the same understanding surprised me… He has always firmly believed that there is no one for him because of what he is, yet here you are. Your journey together will not be easy. But you are both loved and have your family behind you.”

Words failed me. Raphael next to never spoke in Japanese, let alone speak something so deep when he did… I somewhat staggered down the hall into the unlit living area. I glanced at my watch-bracelet, it was almost midnight. Everyone had gone to bed. I still needed to shower. But what I really wanted was to talk to the red masked bruiser, who had decided this day, that I was his _unmei no hito_ , person of destiny, his destiny.

If he felt that way, then he’d already decided and that meant everything he was doing to keep me at bay… was just a front. Weary from the day, lightheaded with revelation I walked on wobbly legs toward the kitchen.

“Where ya goin?”

His voice almost made my knees buckle, my heart slammed in my chest. Turning my head toward the turnstyles I spotted him sitting on the steps. Answer him, you have to act normal. But I couldn’t speak, all I could do was wave my hand awkwardly toward the kitchen.

“That bad, huh?” He stood up slowly and sauntered toward me. “Want to talk about it?”

No Raph, it didn’t go that bad. Not really. Sensei told me the same thing you did, this is my home and you are my family. Even better, you believe that I am your destiny and as I stand here looking at you, I know that you are mine.

“Zoe?” He was in front of me now.

My lips moved but I still couldn’t summon words.

“I hid a pint of ice cream behind Kitty. If it’s still there, I thought we could share it. You know, since I ate yours the other day. Seems like the wrath of Sensei, calls for ice cream.”

I nodded and fumbled my way behind him, to the kitchen. He turned on the nightlight, opened the freezer and tickled Kitty behind her ear before pulling out a pint of Speculoos. “Grab us some spoons Z.”

Opening the drawer I grabbed one spoon and took a seat next to him at the table.

He raised an eye ridge, “Really, are you not planning on sharing?” After prying off the lid he slid the container toward me, “Guess I owe you a pint.”

I bit my lip, picked up the spoon, took a scoop and offered it to him. Even with the soft lighting I caught the gleam in his eye as he opened his mouth without argument. He reached up, took the spoon from me, scooped out a bit and offered it to me. Any other time I would tease him for such a sweet gesture, but right now I’m at a loss for words. It occurs to me that when we are alone, I get the very best of Raphael. Me. All to myself.

As I lick the cream from my lips and he tries to make conversation.

“So what’d he say? Are you grounded for life?’ He scooped out another bit and ate it. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.

“Not grounded for life. I just have to do your chores for a week.” I reach over and take the spoon from him, collect the pint, and put both away. Then I hold out my hand to him.

“My chores, really?” He grins, and takes my hand, allowing me to guide him toward the pit. “Why my chores and where we goin?”

Pointing to the pile of cushions that serves as our couch, I tell him, “Sit.”

“You tellin’ me what to do, because we know how that’s going to turn out.” He’s playing with me and my heart is melting.

I put my hand in the center of his plastron and push him gently in the direction of the cushions.

“Ah, you’re askin for it.” He runs his mouth yet allows me to guide him.

“I’m not making you do anything. Neither of us can do that, we have to _want_ first. And you _want_ to sit, right there, right now.” Moving my hand up, and standing on my tiptoes, I reach my fingers up to stroke his cheek and very dazedly he sits. “Good, now scoot over and make a little room for me.”

The sweet curve of his mouth, the gentleness in his spring green eyes warms me from within. He moves and I sit down next to him, nudging his arm up and over my shoulder and he permits me to snuggle up to his side. We sit quietly for a while and I find his fingers sliding up and down my hair.

“So why do you have to do my chores, huh?” He asks again.

I let out a quiet laugh, “Since when are you so big on talking?”

He pulls back, turning to look at me, “Since when are you not?”

“Fine. You were right Raphael. Oh I know you love to hear that.”

His eye ridges rise and grins, “Yeah I do. What am I right about?”

Not knowing what is driving me, I follow the impulse to lean forward and press my lips against the side of his mouth. To my delight he turns his head a half inch to meet my graze. It’s a light, sweet brush and I open my mouth a bit to close my lips over his again. Then his hand brushes the side of my face and I stroke his shoulder before pulling back to press my forehead against his. “Sensei told me the same thing you did earlier.”

“Which thing?” He chuckled.

“This is my home and you are my family.”

“Well, duh.” He taps me playfully on the back of the head.

I glare at him.

“Oh, quit.” He pulls me to him and squeezes me.

“You quit.” I smack him on his plastron and we both laugh.

He leans back, pulling me with him and we lay together, my cheek pressed against his hard shoulder, him stroking my hair. Gradually his fingers stop moving and his breathing changes to a soft, rhythmic pattern. I watch a sleeping Raphael but don’t dare move, not wanting to risk waking him. As I close my eyes I feel the warmth of a blanket draped over us. I steel a peek and see his orange masked little brother making his way to the kitchen. What a perfect way to end the day.

 

 

 


	38. Chapter 38

**Thursday Night**

**Zoe**

I’ve never had a father. As a young child I was under the guidance of a ninjitsu master, a tutor, and the healthcare of a scientist, whenever I wasn’t in the field. Yes, in the field. Shredder found that children, especially young girls, could go relatively unnoticed and were the least likely to be suspected of theft among other tasks. I was dressed the part of a normal girl, sent in among crowds, and made off with whatever it was my master desired. _Maybe, that’s why Exodus and I were ideal targets for Hunter._ In my short years I knew how to do two things very well. Fight and steal.

But Shredder was no father. Karai could vouch for that, and he actually called himself _her_ father. She had it a little better than I did. She didn’t reside in a lab, at the whim of a scientist. Other than that, our upbringings weren’t too different. We had the same tutors and training. When we found ourselves in the field together, she, Exodus and I would daydream about what a real father might be like. What did a father do? Would he listen if you needed to talk, bandage up your wounds? Did he care for you when you were sick? Hug you when you heart was breaking? What was having a father like?

After fifteen years, I was about to find out.

The second we stepped into the lair I knew, I was in trouble like I’d never been before. Master Splinter was waiting by the door. Leo had called ahead to let Sensei know we were all okay, dropping off Casey and April and then heading home.

“Was anyone harmed?” His tail flicked, ironically, the way an irritated cats would, and I found myself staring at the floor and staying close to Raphael.

Raph had held my hand for most of the walk home, which was a big deal, considering the others would have surely noticed. For once no one teased anyone about small displays of affection, and I was grateful. Raph gave my hand a reassuring squeeze before letting go. Taking away that calloused, two fingered comfort left me feeling cold and alone.

“No Sensei, we are all okay. And Zoe managed to obtain, what may be a cure for her, X and April.” Leo said, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye.  

_Was that pity in those blues? He’s sorry for me? Oh, this is so not good._

“I want to take it to my lab and run some tests. We should be sure before we give anything to them.” Donnie stepped forward and held out the canisters for Master Splinter to see.

“Very well, you are all excused.” As everyone took a step forward, his walking stick blocked my path, “Except for you Zoe, I will see you in the dojo.” He turned and walked in that direction, “Now.”

Leo actually turned around to face me, “Good luck Zoe.”

Karai frowned, “Are you ever _not_ going to be grounded?”

“Karai, she may have found a cure, it’s worth it.” Exodus smiled at me, “Thanks Zoe.”

“That’s easy for you to say Exodus.” Donnie said to her before offering me a sympathetic smile.

Mikey flashed me his puppy dog face, “Yeah X, you’re not about to face the wrath of Sensei.”

Exodus’s eyes glossed over with tears, “You shouldn’t be punished at all. You did this for us.” She flung her arms around me and I sighed.

“X, it’ll be fine.” I pat her on the arm and Mikey pried her off me.

Raph shook his head, “I told you so.”

“Well thanks for that Raph,” I rolled my eyes and made my way to the dojo.

Kneeling before Splinter, I kept perfectly quiet, waiting for him to reveal my discipline. His ears twitched as he stroked the long fur under his chin, his tail wrapped around his feet, resting peacefully.

“Zoe, I have assigned you extra chores, sent you to the Ha-Shi, and grounded you. Yet none of these disciplines seem very effective with you. I spent many hours today meditating. It occurs to me that you may not understand what my role is in your life.”

He reached out a paw, resting it on my shoulder and for some reason I found a lump rising in my throat.

“Do you want this to be your home Zoe?”

My lip trembled, “Yes Sensei.”

“Do you want to be a part of this family?”

The corners of my mouth curved into the deepest frown, as I took a deep shuddering breath through my nose. I nodded my head. If I spoke, I was afraid I would break.

“I need to hear you say that.”

_Oh, Master. Please. I don’t want to cry._

“Yyyes Sensei,” I choked out.

“What do you think family means Zoe? What is home to you?”

My eyes closed as I buried my face in my hands and swallowed the lump that had built into a horrible knot, trapped in my throat.

Splinter’s paw slid down to my bicep, wrapped gently around it and I felt him pull me toward him. As his arms wrapped around me, I returned his embrace. The heat of tears brimmed my eyes, but as I opened my mouth to speak I found I was no match for the weight of emotions breaking free, like a cracked dam surrendering to its fault. “Feeling cared for… loved, that feels like home and family to me Sensei. That’s what being here is to me.”

His sandalwood scent was as comforting as the softness of his fur, and his compassion and wisdom soothed me. He held me until I was cried out, and it was the kindest, most patient hold, I think I’d ever known.

“Girls are so very different from boys,” Splinter chuckled as we released one another.

“I’m sorry I caused so much trouble today Master. Having a family, a real home, is so new to me. I’m used to being responsible for myself and I don’t know if that will ever go away. I’ve never had a safe place to fall before. I apologize if I seem ungrateful.” I tugged and twisted on a lock of hair, staring at the floor as I tried to explain myself.

“I understand Zoe. I just needed to know your feelings about us. I also need for you to understand the role of a father to his children, which is what you are to me now, my child, my daughter, like Miwa.”

“And Exodus?” I glanced at him, but switched back to the floor quickly, ashamed of questioning him when I’d caused so much trouble.

He nodded, “And Exodus,” he reached out a clawed finger and raised my chin to look at him, “If something weighs on your heart you can always speak to me about it and we will get through it together. You are not alone.”

Blasted tears, vulnerable, weak, terrible things they were. And they trickled down my cheek, traitorously. “Thank you Sensei.”

Splinter studied me for a moment, “You are so like Raphael and yet so different. You complement each other well.”

I laughed, “Sensei, have you heard us talk to each other? We fight constantly. We’re so hot and cold the waters left in our wake are lukewarm at best.”

“I see. But neither of you are water,” Splinter pat me on the shoulder and stood, “You’re fire.”

_I’m not sure what you’re getting at but whatever, you want to try to be my Dad and I’ve never had one before, so right now, you can say whatever you want._

“Zoe?”

_Oh, he just said something and I missed it._

“Yes, Sensei?”

“You have classes tomorrow. You should do your chores and get some rest.”

I held my breath, hoping that I might not be punished after all. I stood without question, bowed, and headed for the door.

“Zoe.” He sounded amused and I knew.

“Yes, Master Splinter?” I turned to face him, flashing him a sweet smile.

“You will do both yours and Raphael’s chores for the next week.”

I groaned. _More dishes, yuck_. I had to ask. “Sensei? Forgive me this one question, but why Raphael’s?”

Splinter seemed pleased with my question for once, “When it was decided this morning that someone would go for you, both Donatello and Raphael volunteered first, as well as Miwa, of course. However, it was Raphael’s words that made the decision easy for me. He risked a great deal going into the light for you.”

“What did he say Master?” My pulse thrummed in my throat, my stomach taking that familiar dip and rise.

“You are his _unmei no hito_ , and as such it was his duty to go wherever you needed him to be.”

I can’t breathe. “Hhhe said that?”

“He did. Although I think he would prefer it, if you did not confront him with this information.”

“Yes, Sensei,” I gripped the door frame, my knees suddenly a puddle of goo. I looked back at Splinter, my heart pounding, “He said that you had said something to him, Master. But he would not tell me what it was.”

“I only told him that I agree, and that you are both _onkei_. I support you and will not keep you from one another.” He tapped his paw on the pommel of his walking stick, “Zoe, you are very young to have met your _unmei no hito_ , yet I have believed this myself for some time. For Raphael to have come to the same understanding surprised me… He has always firmly believed that there is no one for him because of what he is, yet here you are. Your journey together will not be easy. But you are both loved and have your family behind you.”

Words failed me. Raphael next to never spoke in Japanese, let alone speak something so deep when he did… I somewhat staggered down the hall into the unlit living area. Then took a glance at my watch-bracelet, it was almost midnight. Everyone had gone to bed. _I still need to shower._ But what I really wanted was to talk to the red masked bruiser, who had decided this day, that I was his _unmei no hito_ , _person of destiny_ , his destiny.

If he felt that way, then he’d already decided and that meant everything he was doing to keep me at bay… was just a front. Weary from the day, and lightheaded with revelation, I walked on wobbly legs toward the kitchen.

“Where ya goin?”

His voice almost made my knees buckle, my heart slammed in my chest. Turning my head toward the turn-styles I spotted him sitting on the steps. _Answer him, you have to act normal._ But I couldn’t speak. All I could do was wave my hand awkwardly toward the kitchen.

“That bad, huh?” He stood up slowly and sauntered toward me. “Want to talk about it?”

_No Raph, it didn’t go that bad. Not really. Sensei told me the same thing you did, this is my home and you are my family. Even better, you believe that I am your destiny and as I stand here looking at you, I know that you are mine._

“Zoe?” He was in front of me now.

My lips moved but I still couldn’t summon words.

“I hid a pint of ice cream behind Kitty in the freezer. If it’s still there, I thought we could share it. You know, since I ate yours the other day. Seems like the wrath of Sensei, calls for it.”

I nodded and fumbled my way behind him, to the kitchen. He turned on the nightlight, opened the freezer and tickled Kitty behind her ear, before pulling out a pint of Speculoos. “Grab us some spoons Z.”

Opening the drawer I grabbed one spoon and took a seat next to him at the table.

He raised an eye ridge, “Really, are you not planning on sharing?” After prying off the lid he slid the container toward me, “Guess I owe you a pint.”

I bit my lip, picked up the spoon, took a scoop and offered it to him. Even with the soft lighting I caught the gleam in his eye as he opened his mouth without argument. He reached up, took the spoon from me, scooped out a bit and offered it to me. Any other time I would tease him for such a sweet gesture, but right now I’m at a loss for words. It occurs to me that when we are alone, I get the very best of Raphael. Me. All to myself.

As I lick the cream from my lips, he tries to make conversation.

“So what’d he say? Are you grounded for life?’ He scooped out another bit and ate it. I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.

“Not grounded for life. I just have to do your chores for a week.” I reach over and take the spoon from him, collect the pint, and put both away. Then I hold out my hand to him.

“My chores, really?” He grins, and takes my hand, allowing me to guide him toward the pit. “Why my chores and where we goin?”

Pointing to the pile of cushions that serves as our couch, I tell him, “Sit.”

“You tellin’ me what to do, because we know how that’s going to turn out.” He’s playing with me and my heart is melting.

I put my hand in the center of his plastron and push him gently in the direction of the cushions.

“Ah, you’re askin for it.” He runs his mouth, yet allows me to guide him.

“I’m not making you do anything. Neither of us can do that, we have to _want_ first. And you _want_ to sit, right there, right now.” Sliding my hand up and standing on my tiptoes, I reach with my fingers to stroke his cheek and very dazedly he sits. “Good, now scoot over and make a little room for me.”

The sweet curve of his mouth and the gentleness in his spring green eyes warms me from within. He moves and I sit down next to him, nudging his arm up and over my shoulder and he permits me to snuggle up to his side. We sit quietly for a while and I find his fingers sliding up and down my hair.

“So why do you have to do my chores, huh?” He asks again.

I let out a quiet laugh, “Since when are you so big on talking?”

He pulls back, turning to look at me, “Since when are you not?”

“Fine. You were right Raphael. Oh I know you love to hear that.”

His eye ridges rise and grins, “Yeah I do. What am I right about?”

Not knowing what is driving me, I follow the impulse to lean forward and press my lips against the side of his mouth. To my delight he turns his head a half inch to meet my graze. It’s a light, sweet brush and I open my mouth a bit to close my lips over his again. Then his hand brushes the side of my face and I stroke his shoulder, before pulling back to press my forehead against his. “Sensei told me the same thing you did earlier.”

“Which thing?” He chuckled.

“This is my home and you are my family.”

“Well, duh.” He taps me playfully on the back of the head.

I glare at him.

“Oh, quit.” He pulls me to him and squeezes me.

“You quit.” I smack him on his plastron and we both laugh.

He leans back, pulling me with him and we lay together, my cheek pressed against his hard shoulder, him stroking my hair. Gradually his fingers stop moving and his breathing changes to a soft, rhythmic pattern. I watch a sleeping Raphael, but don’t dare move, not wanting to risk waking him. As I close my eyes I feel the warmth of a blanket draped over us. I steel a peek and see his orange masked little brother making his way to the kitchen. What a perfect way to end the day.

 


	39. Chapter 39

**A/N:** The next couple chapters deal very lightly with some very real issues containing some violence. And since I believe they are real issues that teens deal with and I have only lightly touched on the topics I maintain the T rating for this story, but will post a note at the top of each chapter it pertains to. You must choose whether or not it is appropriate for you.

 

**Try**

Take your make-up off

Let your hair down

Take a breath

Look into the mirror, at yourself

Don’t you like you?

‘Cause I like you

~Colbie Caillat~

 

**Zoe**

**First Day of School**

 

“Zoe, get up! We’re going to be late!” Exodus kicked the cushions Raph and I were sleeping on.

 

“Go away Horse Girl,” I moaned and snuggled closer to Raph.

 

He chuckled, “Somebody’s not thrilled about their first day of school.”

 

“Oh crap, I forgot all about it and no. Definitely not,” I peeked at him and enjoyed the sly grin on his face. He’s _so_ thinking what I’m thinking. _We totally slept out here where anyone could see us, last night._

 

It occurred to me that X wasn’t giving us any grief, but if any one of the brothers walked in and made a comment Raph would shut down on me in a second. I wanted to kiss his cheek but X was still hovering around and I wouldn’t risk his tough guy reputation.

 

Groaning, I peeled myself away from him. Exodus’ hand snatched at my bicep and she yanked me upstairs not letting go until we reached our room. She shut the door and leaned against it, “Oh my God, you totally slept with Raphael last night!”

 

“Seriously Exodus, nothing happened. We literally slept.” I rolled my eyes and opened my dresser drawer, fishing out a pair of blue jeans and a thin gray tank top. Luckily Exodus had the attention span of a goldfish and she was already on to the next topic.

 

“That’s what your wearing your first day of school?” She put a hand on her hip, shaking her head, “You’re as bad as Karai.”

 

Pulling open our shared sock drawer, I grabbed a pair of white athletic ankle socks, “I’m not you X and I have no intention of being anybody but me. As far as I’m concerned this is a punishment worse than the Ha-Shi.”

 

“You can say that again,” Karai appeared in the doorway, wearing black jeans and a black rock band t-shirt.

 

The corners of my mouth turned up, “Glad to see we’re staying true to ourselves, let’s go to Hell.”

 

“What?” Exodus’s blue eyes widened.

 

Karai laughed, “I think, she means High School.”

 

As I grab my make-up bag and head for the bathroom I pass Leo lurking in the hall. His lips were moving but no words were coming out as he looked out over the railing.

 

“Uh, Leo?” I stepped alongside him and he jumped.

 

He cleared his throat, “Sssorry Zoe, I didn’t hear you.”

 

“Are you alright? That’s not like you at all.” He cleared his throat again, his hands clenching and unclenching over the rail.

 

He blushed and glanced over his shoulder at our bedroom door. I could see Karai and Exodus whispering about something. “Yeah, I’m fine. Have a good first day of school Zoe.” He moved to leave but I grabbed his hand.

 

“Why don’t you just talk to her Leo? Take some of your free time to show her something that’s special to you.”

 

His face deepened a new shade of reddish-green, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

 

I tilt my head to the side and raised an eyebrow, “Leo, please. We all know who likes who around here.” I leaned closer to him, keeping my voice low. “Take her someplace that’s special to you and just hang out. You know, not training, not meditating… Go find out who you are together.”

 

Leo’s eye’s narrowed in Karai’s direction, “Are you sure?”

 

“No. But I know it’s a start and there’s only one way to find out.”

 

“Hey, what are you two yappin’ about? Sensei wants you guys on your way to school in five.” Raph yelled up at us.

 

“Eh, you go in my place, I’m good.” I waved at him, turning to head for the bathroom.

 

“Right, because that would go over well.” Raph grumbled.

 

Taking one last look back at Leo, my heart hurt for him. It’s hard enough for a human guy to approach a girl. I can’t imagine what it’s like for a mutant. _No wonder Raph keeps going back and forth._    “Leo,” I called to him from the bathroom door and he looked at me and swallowed. “She’s your friend first and there’s no place better to start.”

 

The corners of his mouth turned up slightly, “Thanks Zoe.”

 

I winked at him, “Anytime Fearless.”

 

“Hurry up Zoe, you’re gonna be late!” Raph yelled at me again.

 

Glaring at him from the doorway I yelled, “Keep your shell on! I can manage myself.”

 

“Oh, Raph, she told you!” Mikey taunted pointing his finger in Raph’s face.

Raph raised an eye ridge at me while simultaneously snatching up his brother’s finger and applying pressure to it.

 

“Ow! Uncle!” Mikey squeaked.

 

Raphael grinned, “You want some of this Z?”

 

I straightened up and stepped toward the rail. “Apparently I don’t have time to step to you this morning. I have to go to Hell.”

 

He let Mikey go and laughed, “You mean High School.”

 

“As if there’s a difference,” I grumbled.

 

Shutting the door behind me, I leaned against it. Sighing, I flipped on the light switch and looked in the mirror at my huge deep set boring gray eyes, freckles and stupid nose. Even when we’d lived in the lab, among other test subjects, I was unpopular.

 

Come to think of it, even Exodus, as beautiful as she was, had a hard time. Her problems had to do with what happened in training and sometimes in the field. She startled easy and would sometimes bolt because of her stupid horse genes. She’d only fight if backed in a corner with no other alternative and after being called a coward so many times, the pain on her face broke my heart and I offered to help her work through it. We’ve been friends ever since.

_I really should stop calling her Horse Girl._

 

I’m not sure when Karai decided she liked me. I think it had something to do with saving her life, but not the first time, maybe more like the third. Much like Leo, I saw goodness in her and I put myself on the line for her, not because of whose daughter she was, but because I was certain there was more to her. But as I looked at the awkward girl in the mirror, I was much less sure of how I felt about myself.

 

There was one thing I _was_ confident about, today wouldn’t be any different than the way things went for me in the lab. Only here, I had to suck it up. I couldn’t let Splinter down again. I’d already caused enough trouble.

 

“Zoe, we’re leaving!” Karai yelled, and from the distance in her voice I could tell they were by the lair door.

 

My eyes seemed to bore into me from the mirror, taunting me, and I found them unsettling _. I wonder if that’s how others feel when they look at me, because I can’t change that._ There was heaviness in my chest, and my shoulders slumped as a lump rose in my throat. Glancing down at the make-up bag I frowned and dropped it on the counter, opened the door and walked out.

 

At the bottom of the steps I found all four brothers, Splinter and April waiting with Exodus and Karai by the door.

 

“No make-up Z?” Exodus looked me over and gave me a small semi-approving nod.

 

I shook my head, “I can’t change who I am and I’m not going to bother trying.”

 

“There’s nothin’ that needs changin,” Raph said crossing his arms over his plastron and tilting his head.

 

“Have a good first day girls.” Splinter smiled at us.

 

The boys all mumbled similar well wishes and April piped up, “My Dad dropped me off so we could walk together for your first day. Let’s go!”

 

As the lair door closed behind us and we wove our way along the sewers then climbed to the surface and onto the street, I considered that Casey was April’s only friend at school so she was probably thrilled that we would be joining her. I had to change my attitude for her. She didn’t need me bringing her down.

 

“Oh, here are your class schedules. We all have homeroom together but after that I probably won’t see you until lunch and then the walk home.” She handed us each a pale blue sheet of paper along with a green map of the campus.

 

I was not the best student and had not selected overly difficult classes, but minimal requirements. Anything I wanted to know that I didn’t already I learned through self research, and lately Donatello.

 

“Here we are.” April announced anticlimactically.

 

She led us to homeroom where the teacher subjected us to the horrific torture of announcing that we were new students. Luckily April had saved three seats for us in the very back of the room with her. I could feel eyes on me as I walked down the aisle and slid into my seat. A tall blond haired boy sat in front of me and I couldn’t see anything, not that I wanted to.

 

After homeroom we parted ways, Exodus to science lab, Karai and April to the math hall even though they didn’t have the same class, and I made my way to English Composition. Well, if I could just take English classes all day and not have to talk to anyone I’d be in good shape. As I weave my way in and out among groups of teens blocking the hall or going in the opposite direction I notice the blond haired boy from homeroom standing at his locker right outside the door to the English room. Right as I walk through the door I hear the brunette girl he’s talking to.

 

“Who’s that?”

 

“Some new frog faced bitch in my homeroom. Come on Em’ I’ll walk you to class.”

 

Cradling my books to my chest I check in with the teacher who places me in the second row, near a window. Right as the bell rings the blond boy runs in, takes one look at me, reaches back and slaps me across the face before sitting down at his desk.

 

I sit there stunned, through the entire class, wondering what crime I’d committed and if anyone had seen what he did. No one said anything or reacted. We hadn’t spoken. I didn’t even know his name. Yet there I was rubbing a cheek, that I knew, thankfully, wouldn’t bruise. He would’ve had to punch me for that to have even been a possibility. I could break this boy, I really could. But I wouldn’t. What would Splinter think if I beat up a boy on my first day of school? No. I just had to suck it up. But that didn’t mean my chin would be up when I did it.

 

As the bell rang, signaling the end of class, I stood up to leave and Blondie stuck his foot out trying to trip me as I walked by. _Who hurt you that made you feel like you needed to hurt me?_ Shaking my head I stepped over his foot and made my way to my next class.

 

My lunchtime turned out to be different that April, X and Karai and I didn’t actually see them until it was time to walk home.

 

“Well how was it?” April asked as we stopped at an intersection.

 

“Everything I thought it would be.” Karai mumbled.

 

“I loved it! I met this girl, Emily. She was so nice and she introduced me to all of her friends.” Exodus bounced ahead before turning to face us, walking backwards down the sidewalk as she chat us up.

 

 _She’s so happy._ My heart swelled for her.

 

April looked less than pleased, “Emily Harris, as in Captain of the Cheerleading Squad? They call her Em, that Emily?”

 

Exodus’ blonde head bobbed and her smile grew so wide, dimples appeared in her cheeks. “She was so nice!”

 

“Right,” April cleared her throat, “Uh, X, be careful when it comes to Emily. She dates the school quarterback, Ryan South.” April’s voice lowered as she continued, “he’s known to have a nasty temper.”

 

X appeared confused, “What does her boyfriend have to do with me?”

 

“Emily is bi-sexual,” Aprils voice lowered even more, “he gets jealous.”

 

“Oh,” X frowned, “okay. Well, I can handle myself.” She twisted a lock of long blonde hair, “Do you think it would be okay if I tried out for cheerleading?”

 

April, Karai and I stopped walking.

 

X’s blonde eyebrows furrowed, a timid smile adorned her perfect face. Her cerulean blue eyes darted over each of us, “That was stupid, wasn’t it?”

 

The big sister in me stepped forward, wrapping an arm around her and getting us moving again, ahead a few steps so I could talk to her.

 

“X, I would love to tell you do whatever you wanted.” It was true, she would be the perfect cheerleader and it would make her so happy. “But you’d have to go to games, and that means travelling. Then there are competitions. You’d be great at it, but X, that’s just not who we are. It wouldn’t be safe.”

 

The frown on her face hurt for me to look at, as she said nothing, only nodding in agreement.

 

Karai lifted the manhole cover that would lead us home and it occurred to me that we hadn’t seen a certain someone at school today. “April, where was Casey today?”

 

“He’s suspended this week, for fighting after the hockey game last week.” April shrugged then changed the subject, “Do you think Donnie will still want to study with me now that you girls could?”

 

“Yes.” Karai, Exodus and I answered at the same time.

 

Karai reached up and pulled on the brick lever that would open the door to home. As we stepped in I felt the loneliness of the day fade from my shoulders.

 

Mikey threw down his game controller, bounded over and lifted X up, spinning her in circles, “Tell me about your day! Did you love it? Was it awesome? Did you make lots of friends?”

 

She laughed as he set her to her feet. He greeted the rest of us, then grabbed her hand and drug her off toward the kitchen, “Come on, you must be starving!”

 

As they went in Leo and Raph came out. For some reason, as my eyes met Raphael’s, I felt the sting of that boys hand on my cheek again. I bit my lip, dropped my bag and made my way to the dojo without greeting either of them.

 

Fortunately Sensei was in his room and the dojo was empty. We’d have a training session before dinner then patrol after, but all I wanted to do was work out and go to bed. As I started on my warm up stretches, facing the beautiful tree in our dojo, I felt him behind me.

 

One of the things I really adored about Raph was his ability to know when to talk to me and when to just be there. He stepped alongside me and started stretching too. I knew full well that was probably his third warm-up today. There was no need. Yet he went through the same series of stretches, not looking at me and not asking me a single question.

 

And it was like that for the whole night. I didn’t talk and he didn’t push. He was just there.

 

 

 

 

 


	40. Chapter 40

**Raphael**

Pressing the talk button on my phone I swallowed the lump of panic trapped in my throat, “Any sign of her Leo?”

 

“Sorry Raph, uh- hang on I’m getting a call from Mikey.”

 

I paced the roof by her favorite bench, watching the waves crashing against the shore. She hadn’t been back there, to my knowledge, since we’d stuck Hunter on that barge. But it’d been hours since she was supposed to be home after detention. My stomach knotted up as I realized I didn’t know where else to look, and my brothers, the girls and I had each gone off in a different direction.  I had a bad feeling about this.

 

My phone clicked and Leo’s voice sent an icy streak throughout me, “Raph, Mikey found her. You should come home.”

 

“Is she okay Leo?” My heart leapt to my throat and my stomach rocked again leaving me nauseous.

 

“Just, come home Raph.”

 

Before I could say another word he hung up and my feet flew.

 

By the time I reached the lair door my chest was heaving. As I pulled the lever Karai and X came huffing along behind me.

 

“Is she okay?” Karai asked gasping.

 

“Dunno, just got here.”

 

Leo was by the front door when we stepped inside. Mikey was sitting on the floor outside the needle room with his face in his hands and April leaned against him crying. Master Splinter stepped out, closing the door behind him.

 

“What the hell is going on?” I demanded trying to ignore the sick twisting and churning in my gut.

 

“Raphael, Zoe will not tell us what has happened. Perhaps you can get her to?” He then looked at Leo, as the rest of us looked to our Sensei, “She will be alright, I just don’t understand what has happened.”

 

Nodding I crossed the room, stepping around Mike and throwing open the door. Donnie was hovering over Zoe’s face and I yanked him aside, only to reel back when I saw her. She wouldn’t look at me and as I looked over her cut up face, black eye and split lip, down to her bruised shoulder and swollen wrist my blood heated to a degree that damn near blinded me. “Who am I killing?”

 

She pressed her lips flat, clamping her eyes shut.

 

“Donnie, get out.” I barked.

 

“Raph-” he began.

 

“Get out.” I repeated, never taking my eyes off Zoe. There was no way she was talking with anyone else around. Even then I wasn’t sure if I could get it out of her, but I was sure as hell gonna try.

 

Donatello shut the door quietly behind him.

 

“He’s gone. Talk,” I said, picking up the cotton pad Donnie had been cleaning her wounds with, dabbing it with antiseptic, and starting with the still bleeding cut above her eyebrow.

 

She hissed against the sting and glared at me.

 

“Good, open your eyes and look at me,” I stopped wiping away the blood and met her gaze evenly, moving just inches from her face, “now talk. I ain’t goin’ anywhere till ya do.”

 

Her lip trembled and tears welled in her eyes, spilling down her cheeks in silent cascades that hurt to watch.

 

“Tell me the other chick looks worse than you Z.”

 

_It damn well better be a chick or I really am gonna kill somebody._

 

She shook her head and looked at the floor.

 

Slipping a finger gently under her chin I applied pressure and she looked at me again.

 

“Did a guy do this to you? I already know it had to be, because I don’t know another chick that could get the jump on you.” I scoffed, “Don’t know many guys either Z. What happened?”

 

Fresh tears spilled over and she sniffed then wiped them away, and I noticed the knuckles on the hand of her sprained wrist were bloodied.

 

“At least tell me what you hit.”

 

She made a choking sound and muttered a word that I couldn’t hear, then cleared her throat and tried again, “A wall.”

 

I took a step back, scanning her over again. “Why?”

 

Rolling her eyes she tried to cross her arms, jostled her wrist winced and more tears escaped. I returned to cleaning her up because the cut over her eye was dripping down the side of her face.

 

“I missed.” She said suddenly, between sniffles and tears.

 

“Missed?”

 

She held up her injured wrist, “Missed his face, hit a brick wall.”

 

“How the hell does a trained kunoichi miss a guy’s face?” I backed up, turned around and opened the fridge Donnie kept the ice packs in.

 

While my back was to her she let more out.

 

“I wasn’t fighting back till they tried to get my clothes off. I just thought he wanted to hurt me because he was hurting. I didn’t know there were others with him until he knocked the wind out of me and threw me against the wall. I hit my head and there was blood in my eyes. They kicked the crap out of me, then he went for my clothes and I couldn’t see for the blood. I managed to get to my feet but when I swung, I missed.”

                           

_I’m not going to lose it. I’m not. I’m not._

 

Clenching the icepack so tightly in my hand that it crunched, I turned to face her. “You weren’t fighting back someone who attacked you?”

 

_God, I am so going to lose it._

 

She licked her bloody lip, flinched and looked at the floor, “No.”

 

Launching the ice pack at the wall so that it bounced off, flying back toward my own head I snatched it out of the air and threw it again. “What the hell Zoe? What do you think we train for? To let people tare us down! Why would you _not_ fight back?” I threw my hands up in the air, “Look at you! “

 

“Somebody hurts him Raph, I just know it.”

 

Clenching my teeth so hard my jaw hurt, I glared at her, “That don’t mean he gets to hurt you.” I struggled with my rage, “So you tell me why because I know, _I know_ , that you know that.”

 

“I didn’t want Splinter to be mad at me for getting into a fight my first week of school.”

 

I stood up and looked around, “WHAT?”

 

“I keep getting into trouble Raph. Do you know how bad it looks if I get in a fight my first week of school?”

 

Growling I found myself in her face again, “A hell of a lot better than this!”

 

Wheeling I turned from her and moved toward the door, but my heart wouldn’t let me open it. I kicked it one good time before turning back around, snatching up the cotton pad and started cleaning her up again.

 

As I finished wrapping her wrist which was the last of her wounds and the worst, her unwounded hand reached under my jaw pulling me up to her. Her eyes looked like rain clouds and I was glad to see she wasn’t broken by this.

 

“What’re you thinkin’?” I asked her.

 

She shook her head and leaned forward pressing her mouth against mine and I slipped my hand in her hair, drinking in her honeysuckle scent, tasting something fruity on her lips and wanted to destroy whoever it was that hurt her, at the same time wanting nothing more than to hold her because she was safe.

 

A soft knock came on the door and we broke apart as it cracked open. Donatello peeked in, “Sensei is trying to send everyone to bed. He wants to speak with you both before you turn in and I just wanted to see if you needed me to sew anything up or anything.”

 

Mikey’s head poked in beneath Donnie’s arm, “And I just want to hug you, I’m so sorry I didn’t get there sooner.”

 

I turned my attention to my little brother, “You saw the guy?”

 

Mike nodded, “Guys, there were five of them. Zoe gave three a good beat down for someone with blood in her eyes.”

 

“Did you get the guy that did this?” I pointed to her and Mike shook his head.

 

“She wouldn’t let me in the fight, yelled at me to stay back, so I made some noise and they ran off.”

 

I whirled on her again, “Why would you not let Mike help you?”

 

Leo stuck his head in over Donnie’s arm, “Because it’s a kid she goes to school with.”

 

Zoe crossed her arms and glared at the wall to her right, looking away from me.

 

“How do you know that?” I snapped.

 

“Because of me,” Karai answered from the hallway.

 

“And me,” Exodus chimed in.

 

“Let them in Donnie,” I urged him aside with my eyes and the room filled up with our family, crowding it so much we were elbow to elbow and Zoe’s face turned red.

 

“Spill it Girly,” Karai snapped, crossing her arms in Leo’s style.

 

Leo smiled at her then uncrossed his arms when he realized he was already doing the same thing.

 

Zoe rolled her eyes, “You know, I love you guys but I can take care of myself.”

 

“Been down this road, patched that pothole, spill it.” I tapped her on her knee and she scowled at me.

 

“He thought I was hitting on his girlfriend or something.” “Oh my gosh! Emily’s boyfriend, the quarterback!” Exodus shrieked.

 

“For crying out loud, he obviously has problems and I didn’t want him seeing Mikey and making any kind of connection between him and me. I didn’t want you guys at risk. Hell he hit me the first day of school. He, he just needs help.”

 

“Yeah well, I’m startin’ to think you do to!” I snapped at her.

 

She clenched her jaw, “Stop yelling at me Raphael.”

 

‘What is the meaning of this?” Splinter appeared in the doorway and the room was evacuated before anyone could answer, leaving only Zoe and I standing in it.

 

“Tell him Zoe.” I grabbed her unwounded hand in mine and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I’ll stop yellin’ at ya, if you just tell him.”

 

The corners of her mouth quirked up and her eyes flickered with light, “You promise?”

 

I chewed on my cheek, “Yes.” I promised not to yell at her, I didn’t promise not to go break this kid in half.

 

She looked at Master Splinter.

 

“Sensei, I was dealing with a bully at school. He sought me out on my way home from school tonight and well, beat me up. I didn’t fight back because I didn’t want to get in trouble my first week of school. I didn’t want to disappoint you. And when Mikey found me, I wouldn’t let him help me because I didn’t want him to be seen with me giving anyone any reason to tie us together. I’m sorry that it came to this, I really tried to avoid it.” Her eyes fell to the floor and her grip on my hand loosened but I didn’t let her go.

 

“Zoe,” as Sensei spoke to her, her eyes drew slowly up to meet his, “You will never be punished for defending yourself. I trust that you know right from wrong and I will always listen to your side before I make any type of decision or take any course of action. But you must first be willing to tell me.” He glanced in my direction, “I am glad that you can talk to Raphael. Perhaps you can try to speak with me as well?”

 

Tears slipped down her cheeks, “Yes Sensei.”

 

“Good night children.” He smiled at us, stroking the long fur under his chin as he left.

 

“Raph,” she pulled my hand close to her heart and I took a step toward her closing the space between us and wrapping my other arm gently around her.

 

“Yeah Z?”

 

“Can we sleep in the living room again? I don’t want to be alone right now.”

 

“You share a room with two other girls.” I said into her neck, inhaling her scent and wanting to hold her and seriously consider never letting go.

 

“Yes, but I want you.”

 

My heart jerked. “Yeah, come on.”

 

_I want you to Z and maybe someday I’ll tell you just how much._

 

 


	41. Chapter 41

**Zoe**

“Raphael, where are you at? It’s an hour past curfew and I’m not stupid!” I yelled into the phone at him.

“Don’t worry about where I am Zoe and stop yellin’ at me.”

“I am worried. Especially since I know I saw you and Leo on the rooftop across from the school this afternoon.”

“You think.”

“I know. Just like I know Casey, Donnie and Mike are with the two of you. Raph, please, don’t hurt this kid. You know I could’ve taken him down myself, so it’s not that. I don’t need you to avenge me.”

“I’ve got to go Z, see ya at home.”

“Raphael!”

“Bye!”

I stared at my phone and it vibrated as a message popped up.

 **Raph:** Meet me in the living room later?

My heart flopped.

 **Zoe:** You know we’re eventually going to hear it from someone right?

 **Raph:** Eh, until then…

 **Zoe:** Can’t wait. But please, leave the kid alone.

He didn’t respond and I stood from the rooftop overlooking my favorite bench watching the current carry away loose pieces of trash. I really could take care of my own business. But if someone hurt Raphael, I’d do exactly what I know he intends to do right this minute.  I turned to begin the short journey to Ryan South’s house.

Six blocks later I stood outside a middle class townhome, looking through the open living room window from right on the sidewalk. Inside I spotted a man bigger and older than Ryan but who looked just like him. He was drinking straight from a whiskey bottle, his face flushed and sweaty. A blonde woman, her face fraught with tension, skittered around, seeming to tiptoe around the man. She brought him a bowl of popcorn before flittering off down the hall. Ryan sat at the kitchen table pouring over a school book, rubbing his cheek. Suddenly he looked in the direction of the window and I waved at him. His eyes widened and he threw back the chair, marching across the room, throwing open his front door and storming up to thrust his hand into my chest. My phone started ringing in my pocket.

“What are you doing here Frog Face?” Ryan growled, wrapping his hand around my throat.

With my wounded right arm I reached up and whacked the bandage against the side of his eyebrow then kicked the side of his opposite leg and his knees buckled dropping him to the ground. I knelt over him, my phone still ringing. “Ryan, I know he hurts you, but that doesn’t mean you get to hurt me or anyone else. Speak up for yourself to a counselor, the same way I’m speaking up for myself right now. You will not lay a hand on me ever again. I let you think you had power over me but you don’t. In fact I could hurt you much worse than this little taste just now. So, stay away from me and my sisters.” I grabbed the back of his head, yanking it back so he had to look at me, “Got it?”

“Screw you, Frog Face.” He spit at me. “I ain’t scared of a girl.”

“Well, are you scared of me?” Raphael’s voice was right behind me.

“Or me?” Leo challenged.

“Or me?” Donnie snapped.

“Or me?” Mikey threatened, and I noted that while Mike was always the cool guy who looked at the bright side, you seldom saw him angry and probably didn’t want to.

“Or me.” Karai growled, stepping alongside me.

“Or me.” Exodus hissed, taking up my other side.

“Or me.” April stepped up next to X.

“Please, pick me.” Casey begged, tapping his hand with a hockey stick.

“What the hell kind of freaks are you involved with Froggy?”

Raph stepped in front of me, but before he could swing I placed my hand on his shoulder.

“Raph, what his father does to him every day is worse than what he did to me in one.”

“That doesn’t make it right.” He said through clenched teeth.

“Thought you could take care of yourself there Froggy,” Ryan ran his mouth.

Raph growled landing a blow to the kid's jaw that I hoped didn’t break it. When he reached back to hit him again Ryan whimpered, “Fine, I’ll leave her alone.”

I shoved Raph aside, “Going home now. Move!”

 

**Zoe**

After going over the nights events with him, Splinter agreed that Donnie could tutor us at home. There was too much at risk now that Ryan had seen the guys with me.

I walked through the halls of Eastwood High for the last time, with my head high, as I marched into the counselor’s office with my withdraw papers and sat down across from his shiny cherry wood desk.

“How can I help you Miss O’Neil?” The chubby, balding man asked.

“These are my withdraw papers, signed by all of my teachers. But I wanted to bring something to your attention.” I said, sitting upright in his oversized rolling chair.

“What’s that?”

“Ryan South, a student here, he was in my Homeroom and English class. Oh, he’s your quarterback.”

“Yes, I know Ryan.”

I hand my papers over to him and stand up again, “You should investigate his home life. He’s abused, I know because he lashed out at me. It’s something kids do when their parents hurt them. They look for someone smaller than them to strike out at.”

The counselor’s mouth hung open in surprise.

“Good luck, Sir. I hope you can and will help him.” Then I turn and walk out the door.

 

 


	42. Chapter 42

“I think we had the shortest high school careers ever.” Karai laughed, shoving a glass bottle Coke across the kitchen table at me.

I held up my sprained wrist, “Well, can’t say I’m gonna miss it.”

Karai and I looked in Exodus’ direction and she smiled, “I’ll take you two over high school any day.”

We laughed.

April frowned, “I’m gonna miss you girls, but I understand.” She spun the cap of her bottle between her fingers then looked us over, “You know the guy’s Mutation Day is tomorrow, right?”

“Mutation Day?” X tilted her head to the side like a confused puppy.

“They don’t know their actual birthday, so they celebrate their mutation day. I usually get them each a gift. This year I drew them pictures.” She blushed then opened the portfolio she’d brought with her, showing us each a picture of the boys, with each of us. There was a sketch of she and Donnie, one of X and Mikey, one of Leo and Karai and one of Raph and I.

“April, these are amazing.” My heart ached as I looked at the candidness of the picture and realized it was sketched off an actual photo she had taken. I was talking to Raph on the steps of the pit, there was nothing really happening in the picture. And I tried to remember the conversation, but couldn’t. I know that I’d never seen what April had conveyed in her art, what was there in his eyes, as he listened to me. At the same time, when I looked at the drawing of me, I saw the same emotions were present on my face.

_Oh my God._

The paper slipped from my fingers, floating down to the table, my breath feeling like it had been pressed out of me in an exhale and I wondered if my lungs would ever open up to inhale again. Seeing your feelings through someone else’s eyes could do that to you.

“Zoe, are you okay?” April put her hand on my shoulder.

My heart sputtered and jerked, “Yes. What time is it?”

“Ten in the morning,” Karai answered.

Shoving back my chair I grabbed my backpack and head for the lair door.

“Zoe, we have training in an hour.” Karai called after me.

“Going out, be back soon.”

As I stepped out into the cool, early spring air, shoving the manhole cover back in place, I fished through my backpack reaching for the zipper hidden inside the biggest compartment but off to the side. I worked my fingers into the small space wrapping them around a wad of cash. Looking around me I walked down and over a block then stepped into the tiny, hole in the wall store.

After making my last stop and getting disapproving looks from each retailer I’d visited since the first store, I made my way back to the lair.

As I stepped inside Raphael was pacing on the landing. His eyes flamed as he whirled on me.

“Where have you been and why didn’t you answer your phone or return my messages?” He threw his hands up, “You can’t keep doing this Zoe!”

“Stop yelling Raphael.” I said calmly, reaching out a hand and wrapping it around his.

He growled, “The phone Zoe, why didn’t you answer the phone?”

“I forgot it, when I left. I’m sorry. It’s upstairs in my room.”

“Well don’t forget it again!”

“Okay, I’m sorry.”

“Fine.”

“Can we go somewhere private to talk?”

“Where? Do you want to go out?”

“No. How about your room?”

He blushed, “Are you serious?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, okay.”

Taking his hand, I lead him to his own room but waited for him to open the door. As I stepped inside I looked around, taking in how everything was neatly in its place. My eyes fell on his nightstand and I realized it had a dozen throwing knives sticking out the top of it.

“Uh, Raph?”

“Yea?”

“What’ s uh- going on over there?”

He blushed an even darker shade of reddish green. “Uh, I dunno. Every time we practice and I catch a knife you throw, I find it at the end of the day and uh- I stick it there with the others.”

The air rushes from me again, my heart jolting, and I lower my bag to the floor and leap at him, throwing my arms around his neck, feeling the tears already slipping down my cheeks. As I press my mouth against his he returns my kiss with fervor and I want to tell him.

Hearing a shuffling in my backpack he pulls back and grabs his sai, “What the shell?” He moves to jab it but I swipe his hand down.

“Raph, wait!”

“You’re bags moving Zoe!”

“I know,” I laugh, “I know, hang on.” I cross the room and unzip it, reach inside and pull out a baby tortoise. “April said your Mutation Day is tomorrow, but I wanted to do this for you anyway. So, uh, she’s a Greek Tortoise.

I couldn’t read the expression on his face and it made me really nervous. He didn’t move for what felt like an eternity as the tiny tortoise flailed her legs and blinked her teardrop shaped eyes.

“Raph?” My heart was sinking, and I began to feel like I’d made a mistake. I pulled my hand in toward my chest holding the turtle against me with my wounded hand and found her suddenly missing when I looked down.

“She’s awesome!” He shrieked flopping back on his bed and letting her crawl across his plastron. “Well I’ll just leave you two alone then.” I grinned, feeling a warmth in my chest as I watched him stroke the top of her head affectionately, pure joy shining in his spring green gems.

But as my hand wrapped around his doorknob, his dropped over it, wrapping around mine and pulling me to him. His mouth sought mine and I closed my eyes, drinking him in, savoring the feel of him and finding myself wanting to be lost in him, wondering if I already was.

He pulled back, and tugged me over to his bed where we laid watching the tortoise crawl over both of us, talking about what to call her until my eyes grew heavy and I drifted off to sleep dreaming of throwing knives, tortoises and Raphael.

 


	43. Chapter 43

**A/N:** Be sure you read all of the Beautiful Mistakes One Shots, Jasmine, First Date, Anywhere but Here, and Paybacks, as this chapter picks up from there and references some events from them. You can probably follow along without having read them, but if you feel like you missed something it’s in the One-Shots.

Also the next four chapters, 44-47 contain action and violence.

**Zoe**

“April this is the best idea!” Exodus bounced across April’s apartment carrying two plastic grocery bags, plopping them down on the kitchen table.

April followed behind her with a brown bag full of take-out from Murakami’s, “I know I’m so excited!”

“So what do you do on a girl’s night?” Karai asked as she placed a six pack of glass bottle Coke’s alongside the food.

“That’s easy, we talk about boys,” I raised my eyebrows and grinned at her as I placed the bag filled with pints of Ben and Jerry’s along with the rest of junk food.

“You mean _turtle_ boys?” Exodus grinned, reaching into the paper bag full of noodles and gyoza.

I handed out the Coke’s, Karai got the napkins, and April stashed the rest of the snacks away for later before we each took a seat at the table to dig in. The tangy scent of soy sauce filled the air and I felt the anticipatory twang in my mouth before I took my first bite. Murakami had the best noodles, firm and flavorful and I liked mine with lots of crisp veggies, and I was starving.

“Yeah, I guess so,” I said between bites, “Seeing as Leo and Karai had their first date _and_ April apparently skipped _talking_ to Donnie and went straight for action. It seems like there’s plenty to chat about.” I enjoyed watching both Karai and April squirm but it was short lived as Exodus called me out, and she certainly had ammo to work with.

“Like you can talk, Miss sleeping with Raph in the living room almost every night and, _and_ , sleeping in his room last week! Don’t think no one noticed!” Exodus waved her chopsticks at me and I felt the heat in my face as I shoved in another mouthful of noodles.

“YOU WHAT?” April shrieked, dropping a gyoza from her chopsticks in shock.

I rolled my eyes, “nothing happened. We fell asleep playing with Lucy.”

A coy smile played at Karai’s thin red lips, “The tortoise you gave him for his Mutation Day?”

“Yeah,” I shrugged, “why are we talking about me and Raph? I want to hear about your date with Leo. How’d it go? Did you guys talk?”

Karai’s eyes narrowed, “Its private.”

“Oh and me sleeping in Raphael’s room isn’t?” I gave her an indignant look and she sighed before relenting.

“It was really nice. He took me to New Jersey, just across the bay. There was a really amazing view of the city…” She hesitated as a faint pink cast graced her ivory skin cheeks. “Do we have to talk about boys?”

Exodus leaned over the table, reaching for a packet of soy sauce, while casually taunting our friend, “Yes we do. And I can tell, you totally kissed, so now the question is who kissed who?”

“It just kind of happened, it was mutual I think. And I hope he asks me out again.” Karai bit off half of a gyoza, chewing thoughtfully.

“Why wouldn’t he?” April asked in between a bite of noodles.

“I don’t know,” Karai glanced at me, “I kind of got emotional on him. And I never do that, ever. I don’t know what came over me. It was like we were finally alone and not fighting and-”

“There was so much to say, it just all came pouring out?” I asked before taking a sip of my drink.

She nodded.

“You guys were overdue for a heart to heart. I’m sure whatever was said needed to be said. I wouldn’t worry about it Karai.” I picked up my empty box and threw it in the trash.

“Yeah, but he didn’t really say how he felt.”

I scoffed, “The boy asked you on a date then took you to the best ground view of the city _and_ kissed you back. I think you’re fine Karai.”

Karai’s expression was distant and I thought perhaps she was reflecting on the events of her date, “It _was_ a ground view. I wonder why, surely the truly best view is from a building.”

Placing my hand on her shoulder I leaned over the table so all three girls could hear me, “Because he wanted to give you as normal a date as he could. He tried to reduce the chances of getting into a fight or bumping into an enemy. Think about it Karai, there’s very little Leo ever does without thinking it through.” I noticed the corners of her mouth quirk upward and I felt compelled to encourage her even more, “So, why don’t you just ask him out next time?”

Her brown sugar colored eyes flickered with determination, “Maybe I will.”

“Good.” I nodded before turning my attention to April, whose eyes darted to me then quickly away. She busied herself digging around in the empty take out bag and I snatched it up, “nice try Misses. Now, tell us, why would you kiss Donatello, _again_ , I might add, yet still haven’t _talked_ to him?”

She buried her bright red face in her hands, “I got nervous. I get nervous. I mean, he’s my best friend. Could there be a worse choice for a boyfriend than that?”

Sighing I plopped back down in my chair and took a swig of my Coke, “That is the best reason I could ever think of. And if a do-over was an option, I may have fought it harder myself.”

Karai twirled her glass bottle in circles then stopped to look at me, “Zoe, just how serious are things with you and Raph?”

“I thought we were talking about April and Donnie. Why are we back on me and Raph? And we haven’t even touched on X and Mikey!”

Exodus laughed, “Ask away, we’re rock solid and unashamed.”

We all groaned.

Karai’s brow furrowed, “You’re right, if things go south with the two of you, and after you’ve gained his trust, well… he’s starting to really open up to you and he never does that. I don’t want to imagine what he’d be like if you two fell out.”

“That’s exactly what I’m afraid of with Donnie.” April slumped in her chair and crossed her arms with a huff.

“It’s too late, I can’t go backwards and if I’m honest with myself I don’t want to. We’re not an official couple or anything. As far as what’s happening, we’re just kind of letting it happen.”

“Without a commitment?” Karai and Exodus said in unison.

I looked at April who only shook her head.

“It’s Raph, I can’t push him for a commitment, and if he doesn’t need or want one I’m not going to pursue it. I mean we’re really not doing anything besides kissing and it’s not like either of us are interested in anyone else.” I shrugged and wished the bottle of my drink had a paper label to pick at, I desperately needed the distraction.

“Just wait till another guy shows an interest in you then we’ll see how quick he wants to make things more official.” April tipped her bottle in my direction before taking a sip.

Karai and Exodus nodded in agreement.

“So are you ever going to talk to Donnie, or are you just going to string the boy along with a trail of kisses that lead him straight to a puddle of misery and heartache? Because I’ll tell you what, kissing someone without the talk, it says a couple of things, and after a while none of them are good.” I seized the opportunity to tell her what I really thought and hoped I hadn’t been to mean about it. April was my friend and I adored her, but Donnie deserved the best of her and nothing less.

She flinched and closed her eyes, “I know. He just means so much to me. I both want him and don’t want to lose him.”

“How do you know you will?” I asked gently.

Her brilliant blue eyes flew open and I saw the rawness in them, noticing how she shivered as she spoke, “I know you know what they’ve been through and what we’re always up against. I’m not just talking about the normal things that could go wrong with us. I’m talking about if something happened… something bad.”

Her words were so true they hurt, and like a fish being reeled in, flopping at the end of a line, I felt the weight of their pull. But it wasn’t just the boys that lived a dangerous life and it wasn’t because of them that we did too. One thing I knew for certain, it was much easier to walk the fine line between life and death with friends like these by your side.

Unable to resist the urge, I leapt up to wrap my arms around her neck, hugging her over the back of her chair. As she wrapped her hands over mine Exodus jumped up, never wanting to miss out on a group hug, and she and I looked at Karai before yanking her over to us.

“April, we’re all leading the same kind of lives with the same fears in the back of our minds. I say we live every day like it’s our last. Talk to Donatello, it’s the right thing to do. Karai ask Leo out and go for it. And X, I don’t even want to know what you and Mikey are up to.” I stood up and glared at her, “But you better never throw a bag of sugar at me again or you will _both_ pay.”

Exodus giggled, “Got it.”

April swiped away a stray tear, took a deep breath, and straightened herself, “Well what are we going to do now? Something tells me we’re not the hair and make-up kind of girls.   Well, X maybe, but not the two of you.” She pointed to me and Karai with a knowing, and very correct, look on her face.

“Hmmm, do we want to go to the roof and just hang out?” I suggested.

“Oh, we’ll take my speaker and some sleeping bags and we can totally crash up there! The rooftop here is actually pretty nice. They’re trying to make it like a garden patio thing.” April bounded to her room and returned with a small bright yellow speaker.

“I’m in, let’s go.” Karai seemed eager to get to the rooftop and I suspected that, like me, she wanted to take advantage of the time outdoors.

A short while later I lay on my fluffy green sleeping bag staring up at the moonlit sky. It was a clear night, for New York City anyway, but starless as always, no thanks to the city lights. But the moon was full and bright and cast a soft glow over everything around us, giving the simplest things a surreal radiance that was hard to look away from. Exodus sat Indian style on one side of me, while Karai and April lay on their stomachs facing the speaker staring at each other awkwardly.

“Powers,” Karai said suddenly.

“Huh?” I rolled over and gave her a look.

“You three have powers that you never use and never talk about. I want to know why?” She straightened up so that she was almost in a lotus position and looked at each of us expectantly.

I raised a questioning eyebrow at her, “Because they were forced upon us, give us incredible headaches and make us feel sick when we use them?”

“Oh, come on, you can’t tell me it isn’t fun to read people’s minds April, or to move things with yours Exodus! Ah, Zoe, sorry but being an empath doesn’t seem all that exciting.” Karai waived a dismissive hand at me and I rolled my eyes.

Truth is it isn’t exciting. There were times that it came in handy, but for the most part, no one wanted to feel anyone else’s emotions when they had their own to deal with.

April blushed, “You know the first thoughts I heard were Leo’s and they were about you Karai.”

Karai’s eyes sparkled, “That’s what I’m talking about. Do tell.”

April frowned and shook her head, “I kind of already did. Do you remember that day he snatched me by the arm and drug me out of the dojo?”

Karai laughed, “Yes, what was that about? He wouldn’t tell me.”

“That was when we realized I could hear thoughts. The thing is I embarrassed him.” April’s eyes narrowed, “It’s tempting to want to listen to someone’s thoughts. Especially Donnie’s, when I wonder what he thinks of me, but I refuse to let myself do it for the same reason that Zoe doesn’t use hers. The feelings and emotions of others are private and I respect that.”

Karai huffed, “You’re not going to tell me what he was thinking are you?”

April blushed, “It was nothing bad. I’m surprised you didn’t hear me when I barged in yelling it.”

“I was too busy trying to figure out why he was acting all Weirdenardo.” Karai snickered and turned to Exodus, “What’s your excuse?”

Exodus shifted uncomfortably, “I can’t really control it. Like, I could levitate that speaker, but then it might randomly fly off the rooftop. It’s even harder with the meds we take.”

“Uh-huh. What’s up with that?” Karai glanced in my direction, “I thought you found a cure Z. Isn’t Donnie supposed to be testing it?”

“He has been, he said he’s close to figuring out what the substance is and if it will really cure us of the side-effects or not.” I shrugged. I’d been hoping he’d find out something soon because our supply of meds were low and I’d destroyed my relationship with our supplier. One thing we didn’t need was for the three of us to be sick.

April cleared her throat, shifting our attention to her, “Tonight actually, he was thinking he’d be done tonight.”

Exodus squint her eyes and pursed her lips as she pointed a finger at the speaker, the volume increased while it shifted and jumped.

“See how it bounced around, I only wanted to turn up the sound but all that other stuff happened too.” She sighed, “Oh well. Anyway I like this song. I think it’s perfect for you girls. You need to let go and just take a leap. Come on Girlies, say Geronimo!”

I groaned, “Ugh, keep practicing with the finger waving and you girls take the leaps. I’m going to just try to keep my feet on the ground a while. I get in enough trouble without freefalling.” I slid down on my back, intertwining my hands behind my head and gazed up at the sky.

“You’re no fun Zoe,” Exodus pouted, then looked at April, “Will you do my nails?”

Karai groaned, “I’m with Zoe.”

As I closed my eyes and listened to Exodus and April chat about hair and nails, I couldn’t get their earlier comments about commitment out of my head. There was no way I was going to push that on Raph, especially since I had already told him we didn’t need to put a name to whatever we were and he’d already told me we weren’t a couple. But I couldn’t help the small knot blooming in my stomach, because the night I spent in his bedroom, the kissing had been more passionate than before, and for the first time inklings of desires to do more had floated around in my head. And I knew I didn’t want to do anything more than what we were, not without the very thing I refused to ask him for. But it wasn’t like he was pushing me or anything, when I backed off he did too, and I could dance like that for a good while. Giving myself an internal confirmation nod, I decided, I was fine with the way things were.


	44. Chapter 44

**Zoe**

My phone buzzed next to my head and I picked it up, noticing that April and X were now brushing each other’s hair and doing their nails. Meanwhile Karai wrote in a journal and randomly commented on their conversation. The bold black print against my new background pic, of Raph with Lucy on his shoulder, told me the time was one thirty in the morning. _The night had gone so fast._ I swiped my finger over the little envelope and opened a message.

 **Leo:** Have you seen Raph?

My pulse quickened as I rolled to my stomach then sat up. My sudden movements drew the girl’s attention to me. _Why is Leo texting me about Raph? Curfew and patrol were over hours ago. He should be home._

“What is it Zoe?” Karai asked leaning in my direction to look at my phone.

“Do any of you girls have a text from Leo?” I looked over each of them and they glanced at their phones.

“No.” Karai and Exodus replied.

“I have one from Donnie.” April said softly, “the substance in the canisters is a cure but it’s incomplete. He’s saying they were going on a mission to find the other half of it.”

“What?” Karai and I yelled.

I had to reply to Leo and find out what was going on.

 **Zoe:** Did you guys go on a mission without us? Where are you?

As I waited for his reply I reached down to shut off the music. “Leo sent me a text asking if I’d seen Raph. Something’s going on. I just asked him if they went on a mission without us and where they are.”

“What’d he say?” Karai grabbed my hand yanking it down so she could see the screen on my phone.

“Nothing yet,” I said, feeling a strange pull in the air. I closed my eyes and tried to pinpoint it…

My phone vibrated again and Karai yanked it from my hands. “He’s on the-”

“Roof next door,” I finished for her, finding the energy of three of the brothers reaching toward us but staying put.

“Yes. He wants to know if it’s okay to interrupt girl’s night.” Karai finished reading my text then deposited the phone back in my hand.

“Girls?” I opened my eyes, looking over each of them, before zeroing in on the corner of the roof across from us where I could see the silhouettes of three forms perched and waiting.

“Yes!” April, Karai and X answered in unison.

I raised my hand and had no sooner lowered it back to my side than the three of them came flying overhead, landing perfectly before their favored girls. I heard lots of apologizing and explaining before I stuck my fingers in my mouth and let out a shrill whistle. The rooftop silenced and Leo whirled on me shoving a finger over his lips.

“Shhh! We’re ninja’s we’re supposed to-”

“Leonardo, don’t you even finish that sentence. The six of you are making a boatload of noise up here and now all of the sudden you want to shush me? No Sir. Now, what’s going on?”

Leo scowled at me, but before he could open his mouth Donnie launched into the story, “I finished my study on the compound in the canisters. It is an incomplete cure. There must be another set somewhere. If we could find them I should be able to have a cure for you by the end of the week.”

“Okay, so what does this have to do with Raph?”

Leo chimed in, “He wanted to go back to Hunter’s to search the place, he thought maybe the other half of it would be there or maybe we’d find a clue or something. But when we went… well, it looks like Hunter is back, so I said we’d wait. I wanted to do more recon and come up with a better plan.”

“Let me guess, Raph didn’t want to wait.”

“Exactly, and we all went home together, but when I walked by his room an hour ago I knocked on his door to try to smooth things over with him and he didn’t answer. When I peeked inside I realized he wasn’t even in the lair.”

“So what you’re really saying is that the two of you had a fight.” I nodded, crossing my arms and feeling my jaw shift.

Mikey scoffed, “Yeah they did, it was like ‘ _stop telling me what to do_ ’.” He imitated Raph’s scowl and pointed a finger then shifted to Leo’s arms across the plastron look, “and Leo was like ‘ _we need to plan_ ’, and then they were like ‘ROAR’ and ‘RAWR’!” Mikey now looked like Icecream Kitty when you tried to get her out of the freezer to clean it.

Leo’s eyes narrowed, “That’s not the point. He’s not here and he’s not at the lair.”

“Did you text Casey?” April asked.

Leo sighed, “Of course,”

“And, he said what, Leo?” I leaned toward him expectantly.

“He didn’t answer.”

“Leonardo, seriously? Obviously they’re together. Did you guys go back to Hunters?” I rubbed my face, trying to clear my head of the desire to punch Leo.

“No. I thought we’d check with you first.” Leo frowned and I could tell he was uncertain about what exactly he was up against.

“Okay. Want us to tag along and help look for him?” I asked as I started rolling up my sleeping bag.

Leo scoffed, “You’re going to Hunters aren’t you?”

“With or without you. Give me five minutes and I’ll be geared up and ready to go,” I looked in his cobalt blue eyes, “or you can fight with me the way you did Raph and I’ll just go without you too.”

“Zoe,” Leo shook his head, “I swear you are like two halves of the same beast.”

Standing on my tiptoes, sleeping bag under my arm, I grinned at him, “And?”

He closed his eyes, rubbing his fingers in between his eyes, “Just go get ready.”

 

**Raphael**

Well this is not what I had in mind. At all. Casey lay in a crumpled heap beside me and while I knew he was probably okay, I feared for him more than myself because he served no purpose to Hunter. I on the other hand was about to be placed in a glass shipping crate. My hands and feet were bound in heavy iron shackles that made me think this jerk may have a torture chamber somewhere nearby.

“You made this so easy for me,” the moron kept repeating. Then he’d fold his hands prayer-like and raising his to index fingers together then pressing them to his lips and bounce up and down like an idiot while laughing like the Wicked Witch of the West.

He still had his two giants, but he also had two more henchmen with him. Two particular pains in my butt that let me know exactly who his stupid client was and just how much trouble Casey and I were in. The massive stump tailed cat and the razor sharp double mutant dog. The only thing that could’ve made this pairing more annoying would be adding the damn rhino and warthog. To top it off, it was Hun he’d put in charge and he managed to irritate me as much as the four of them combined.

“Load him up, Master Shredder is waiting,” Hun motioned to Tiger Claw before turning on Hunter, “and he expects at least one of the girls returned to him before he will even consider forgiving your failure.”

“She’ll come. Now that they know they only have half of the cure.” Hunter sniffed the air, “I smell victory. You see Zoe has to save everyone, she can’t help herself. But I’m hoping she brings the blonde. One for me and one for you,” Hunter grinned, pointing from himself to Hun.

“Whatever. As long as he gets a turtle and a girl he’ll have enough to destroy Hamato Yoshi once and for all.”

Hunter made a singsong noise and I wondered if the guy hadn’t been dosed with something. His behavior was erratic and that meant unpredictable and I hate unpredictable.

Tiger Claw reached down picking me up by my neck and I kicked at him with my bound feet. He dropped me in the crate and I squeezed the keys to the shackles I held in my clutched fist, closed my eyes, and felt the darkness creeping in as the hydraulic lid closed over me.

 


	45. Chapter 45

**Zoe**

The doors opened to Tiger Claw and Rahzar shoving large glass crates, two high each, on rolling dollies toward a loading ramp on the back wall of the warehouse. I swallowed the lump in my throat, hoping they weren’t going to stick me into one. Then it occurred to me, maybe Raphael already was. My eyes swept over the smoke colored glass boxes. I couldn’t see inside them, but I did see something very familiar _on_ one of them.

“Wait!” I dug my heels into the ground and Hun drug me along a couple feet, before moving his grasp from my hand to the back of my hair, which he wrenched back as he leaned toward me so that my view was filled with his black sunglasses.

They were annoying things, those glasses. I was forced to look at my reflection in them and I could see myself struggling for control of a situation I had supposedly already surrendered myself to.

Grunting against the awkward position of my head I told Hun my idea, “I want the turtle’s weapons. Hunter has no use for them and if I’m going home, I don’t want to go empty handed.”

Hun scoffed, “We already have the turtle. Who cares about the weapons?”

I hissed in pain as he twisted his grip on my hair, and my scalp ached in protest. “You don’t like Hunter much, right?” I asked, trying to step into his grasp to lessen the hurt.

Hun shrugged.

“Let me take him down, and bring back the weapons as a show of good intentions. I mean I’m coming home willingly, but don’t make me go empty handed.”

“It doesn’t mean as much when you didn’t take down the turtle to get them,” Hun sucked on his teeth, “but that kid does get on my nerves. You have five minutes to retrieve the weapons and return to me of your own accord. One second more and I will return you to The Shredder damaged. Do you understand?”

I nodded and he released my hair then flung me toward the elevator.

As the doors opened again I stepped into Hunters apartment, feeling a pang in my chest to find him sitting on his bar counter polishing Raphael’s sai with a knowing grin on his face.

“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”

The look in his ice green eyes made my stomach turn and my blood ran as cold as the Artic. I had to turn that fear into something that could make me hurt him, and all it took was the thought of what might have become of Raphael.

“What’s it to you Hunter?” I shrugged, still standing just inside his apartment.

“I knew you’d be back for these. You couldn’t take your eyes off of them. And you should have seen the look in his eyes as he fought for you when he was here last.” Hunter laughed, “Why not me Zoe? I would’ve taken care of you. But no, you fall for a freak.”

Unable to listen to Hunter’s crap anymore, I reached into the sleeve of my silver leotard and launched a knife at him. The blade landed in the side of his hand between his thumb and forefinger, forcing him to drop the weapons.

“Because, he taught me to throw like that and all you ever taught me,” I shrugged, “was, well nothing.”

I couldn’t help smiling as I leapt across the room, snatching up Raph’s weapons and landing a kick to Hunter’s chest that sent him flying. With my foot over his throat, sai ready, I grinned at the blonde menace, “So to recap, you, worthless, him, priceless.”

With Hunter clutching his hand and cursing me to very dark places, I stepped back in the elevator, knowing I was going to achieve everything I’d set out to do.

Hun stood outside the door, “Not bad. You had five seconds to spare. Now hand them over.”

I ducked as he reached for me then struck at him with one of Raph’s sai, “You’re an idiot Hun. You just let me arm myself.”

The black haired, Bruce Lee look-a-like, shook his head as he mocked me. “And you gave your word.” He shifted his weight and his mouth quirked up in a pleased grin as he took a fighting stance. “But this will be more fun.” He scoffed, “It’s not like you actually know how to use those.”

A great thrill coursed through me and I busted out laughing, “I _train_ with him, you’d better believe I know enough to take care of the likes of you.”

“Not that she needs to, because I’ve got her back.” Leo’s voice rang clear from behind me and as Hun looked from me to him I attacked.

Hun growled as I swiped at his face, then he ducked back and countered with a punch aimed for my face. I struck upward hooking his wrist in Raph’s sai, twisting it and launching him over my shoulder. Leo leapt in as Hun got to his feet.

“Find Raph!” he yelled as Hun pounced.

I wondered where Rahzar and Tiger Claw were as I ran up the loading ramp and scanned the crates for what I’d seen earlier. _Where is it?_ _No, no!_ I moved along them, looking frantically for what I knew in my heart was the right one. _Why are there more in here now?_

“42637! There it is!” It was on top, but the crates were still on their dollies. I squeezed between the row that was only two deep and pushed the stack toward the ramp.

“Need any help Z?” Mikey’s chipper face popped up, in between the row, and I wanted to hug him.

“Get on the other side and don’t let it go to fast, I’m pretty sure Raph’s in one of these.”

As we rolled the crates down the ramp I glanced over at Leo who had Hun well in hand.

“Okay Mikey, I need a leg up!”

Michelangelo put his hands together and smiled, “Get it Z.”

I stepped in and he tossed me up. I tucked before landing neatly on top of the crate then I leaned over the side and punched in the code. As the lid rose I slid off the side and into Mikey’s arms. He placed me on my feet and Raphael’s head popped up over the edge looking down at us, bruised and beaten, but from the glisten in his spring green eyes he was relieved to see us.

“It’s about time,” he smirked and a wash of relief flowed over me that brought tears to my eyes.

“Are you hurt?” I managed through the lump in my throat.

He shook his head, “Nothing I can’t handle.”

I pulled his sai from my utility belt, “Then let’s go home.”

“Nice,” one eye ridge popped up and a sly smile crossed his lips. As I stepped back he leapt from the crate, landing on his feet at my side where I handed over his weapons. “You gonna tell me how you got these later?”

I shrugged, “Eh, it’s not important, as long as they are back where they belong.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	46. Chapter 46

**Zoe**

“Do you girls want to go back to finish your night at April’s?” Leo asked, stopping at an intersection in the sewer tunnels we’d used for our escape.

I looked at Raph whose wrists were as bruised as his face and arms. He didn’t have any open wounds, aside from a split lip that matched my own, he’d be fine. The thing was I didn’t want to be away from him, not when something almost happening to him was so fresh that I had my own injuries to show for it.

His green eyes darted from me to everyone else and back to me, “Why’re you so banged up and nobody else is?”

“Because Z marched in the front door of psycho dudes place, alone,” Casey answered, flashing me a gap-toothed grin.

“You did what?” Raph yelled at me then turned on his blue clad brother. “Why would you let her do that Leo?”

“Leo is our leader Raphael but ultimately we still make our own decisions. We can choose to do what he says or we can do what we think is best. You’re a good example of that. Besides, I have the most experience dealing with Hunter and I knew what I was doing and it worked.”

Raph shifted his glare back to me, “And look at you.”

I glanced over myself. Tiger Claw had banged me up pretty good and my wrist, which was still recovering from a week ago, didn’t look so great, but as far as I could tell I didn’t look much different than Raph, wound wise that is. “Eh, I’ll live.” I shrugged.

“So, Girl’s Night?” April interjected, attempting to break the tension.

Raphael’s eyes were pinned on me and mine fixed on him.

“Why don’t we go back to your place and get the snacks and take them back to the lair and just make it a Team Night?” Exodus suggested.

“That sounds like a good idea.” Karai agreed.

“You guys go ahead. Raph and I will meet you at home.” I said, not breaking from his stare down.

“Well that’s one thing we can agree on.” He said coolly.

“Right. Okay then. We’re going this way,” Leo pointed down a tunnel, our family following him while Raph and I continued our face off.

Once they were out of earshot he reached out for me forcefully but stopped himself before he lowered his hands over my bruise covered arms, “What the hell did you do?”

My heart jerked and my breath quickened as I stepped into him, breathing in his cedary scent and feeling a lump rise in my throat. The fear I’d spent the last three hours trying to contain finally faded, fended off with the electricity that radiated from him, reaching for me and spiraling inward where it struck the air from me, leaving me dizzy and hurting for him.

He maneuvered me against the cinder block wall of the tunnel and I felt the cool unforgiving cement pressing against the bruises on my back. His face lowered to mine where he hovered right around my neck, his lips by my ear. “I’m going to ask you one more time. What did you do?”

I shivered, my heart picking up pace, my chest rising and falling as I pressed my lips together and I realized just how badly I needed him. The entire time I’d feared for him, I’d held my breath the whole night, it felt like I’d carried the weight equivalent of an anvil on my chest, dying a little inside every second I’d not known what had become of him and it left me feeling like I’d been run over. Still not answering him I ran my fingers over his bruised cheek.

A low growl erupted from deep within him and he clamped his eyes shut before slapping the wall over my head. “Answer me Zoe.”

“Nothing you wouldn’t have done for me Raphael.” I reached up and took his calloused three fingered hand in mine but he pulled it away and looked at me with a fiery mix of passion and anger.

“You don’t go into anything alone without Leo or I having sent you ourselves, ever again. Do you hear me?”

His voice sent a chill through me, stilling me the way he could whenever we spoke on the phone.  Yet I resented him telling me what to do and felt my jaw shift as I shoved my hand into his plastron pushing him back. “Excuse me, but who do you think you’re talking to Raphael?”

“A stupid girl who makes the dumbest decisions I’ve ever heard of! Who does that Zoe? Who marches into an enemy lair and says here I am? And look at you! Just look at you, it’s been a whole two weeks since you’ve been beaten up. I’m starting to think maybe you like it,” his voice waivered and broke and he trembled as he shoved his face in mine, “and I’m sick of looking at you like this… so just stop.”

With my fists clenched at my sides I shoved my nose against his beak, “I’ll tell you who else does those things Raphael, YOU! Look at yourself. Maybe I’m getting sick of looking at you all banged up to!”

His eyes searched mine and I saw the fire in them, not the spark, not the kindling, not even the flame, but a full out raging wildfire. He tilted his head and pressed his lips to mine and I felt a sting and tasted the copper from my split lip but didn’t care, all I could think was that he was safe and I was in his arms. Even though he was clearly peeved, as was I, he was gently reaching his hand up to run his fingers through my hair and I was breathing him while feeling the curve of his muscled arms beneath my fingers, embracing his very being. As he tugged lightly on the end of a strand I winced when my roots protested, tender from the fight.

The sound startled him and he pulled back to look me over again, “Where’s it hurt?”

I snorted, “Everywhere. You?”

He cracked his neck and stretched, “Me too. Want to go home?”

“I do. But I don’t feel much like hanging out with the others.” I wanted him close to me again, I wasn’t ready to let go and I suspected that maybe I never would be.

“Me either. Maybe with you and Lucy though.” The corners of his mouth turned up and my heart warmed at the sight.

His eyes were soft, his cheek marred with a splattering of purple and a good cut adorned one corner of his halfhearted smile, but he couldn’t have looked more perfect. My heart thrummed sweetly against my chest, because he was alive, and I was grateful.

Taking a deep breath I tried to sound casual, “That sounds good. I think there’s some ice cream in the fridge and if a night ever called for it…”

“This one does,” he finished for me.

We took a couple steps toward the tunnel home.

“Yeah,” I agreed, trying to suppress the tide of emotions that rocked me harder with every step.

He stopped walking and turned me to face him, “Zoe?”

“Hmm?” I licked the cut on my lip, patiently waiting, while he struggled for his words.

“Don’t do crazy stuff for me anymore, okay?” He said after a long moment and I knew there was more, but he held back.

“No.”

His shoulders straightened, “What?”

“No, Raphael. I will always do crazy stuff for you,” I blinked, desperate to fend off tears, hoping I wouldn’t let how I really feel slip out. We had no commitment, he hadn’t expressed a need for anything more and I certainly didn’t want him to feel pressured by my feelings.

“Why?” His eyes glistened and darted over me, pausing over every cut and scrape.

“Why do you do crazy things for me? Why do you come when you know I’m getting myself in trouble? Why do you work so hard to help me improve upon my weaknesses? Why are you there when I’m down, but you don’t push me to talk about it? Why are you everywhere I need you to be and when I need you most, yet you still believe that you don’t deserve the same from me? You hold me up, you balance me, you listen,” the damn tears slipped over my lashes, dripping down my cheeks like water from an overfilled glass, because that’s what I was, spilling over with a fierce love for him, a love that I was desperately trying not to tell him about.

He frowned and looked away, “I don’t want to talk about this here.”

I reeled back and threw my hands up to my face, wiping away my tears, “What the hell Raph? What does that mean?”

“I don’t want to talk about this here.” He repeated, but did not elaborate.

“Do you want to talk about this at all?” I wiped away stray tears and wrapped my arms around myself.

He swallowed, keeping his eyes to the ground by his feet, “Its late Zoe. We should go.”

“Yeah, whatever Raphael,” I turned away from him and started down the tunnel. Once I had a five foot lead he followed, but we didn’t speak the rest of the way home.

 

 

 


	47. Chapter 47

**All of Me**

_Cards on the table, we’re both showing hearts_

_Risking it all, though its hard_

_Cause all of me_

_Loves all of you_

~John Legend~

**The Flame Part I**

**Raphael**

She’d barely talked to me in three days, which wouldn’t bother me, if she was trying to work through something that had nothing to do with me. But she wasn’t. This had everything to do with us, and what happened that night. Training with her wasn’t as much fun as usual either. With every passing day her attitude shifted slightly further, from confused, to struggling, and now it was laced with anger. All geared towards me.

To make matters worse, the rest of the team wasn’t too happy with me either. We still had no cure and even less of a chance at getting our hands on the missing compounds. Leo was racking his brain as he and Donnie went over our options, and every day the girl’s medication supply dwindled.

I’d spent a lot of today alone with Lucy or conditioning, but I needed to get out and I wanted to take Zoe with me. It was time to have that talk I’d been avoiding. It’d taken three days to get my thoughts sorted and my words right. This wasn’t anything I’d ever done before and I didn’t want to screw it up. Taking a deep breath I tapped lightly on my Sensei’s door.

“Come in Raphael,” his voice both soothed and irritated me. He was my father and a very good one, for that reason I wanted to hear his thoughts. But it was in my nature to resist anyone telling me what to do… _And yet here I am._

I slid the door shut and knelt across from him, a small candle burned between us wafting the scent of clary sage into my nostrils. It was a strong smell, that at first I hated it, but afterward it left me feeling grounded. I tolerated it, as it wasn’t for me to choose in here anyway.

“What troubles you Raphael?” Splinter’s human brown eyes peered at me over his long nose and I found myself looking from his eyes into the flickering flame of the votive.

“I uh, want permission for me and Zoe to be out past curfew. I really need to talk to her about some stuff, just the two of us. And I didn’t want her to worry about getting in trouble.”

“I see. Where will you be and what time should I expect you home? How will I know that you are safe?”

“We won’t go far, I just, we need to be away from all of this, the fighting, the struggling. I know it’s who we are, I accept this is our lives and I understand that she’s-” damn the knot in my throat, it’s always there when I think to hard about her, “She’s not just a girl passing through Sensei, I get that, I feel it. But when it comes to trying to figure this out, it’s not easy for me and I can’t do it here. I just can’t.”

“What time will you be home and how will I know you are safe?”

“I’m not sure. Can I just check in? Zoe wears a bracelet Donnie made for her, if there’s trouble she can alert the lair and let everyone know we need help.” I shook my head, still unwilling to look at him, “But I’m hoping it will go for us the way it did for Leo and Karai and we can just talk without any of the other stuff.”

“Very well,” he agreed, then cleared his throat and I tore my eyes from the orange glow of the flame and felt a great weight lift from me as I found my father smiling, his dark eyes soft and hopeful. “Try to enjoy yourself, Raphael. You both deserve it.”

 _Enjoy myself? Is he nuts?_ This whole thing had my stomach twisted like a washrag, right down to the nausea dripping throughout me. “Right,” I rose, nodded and bowed before leaving to find Zoe.

I ducked a shuriken flying over my head as I closed the door to Sensei’s room, turning to find Karai and Leo sparring. His blue eyes were set on her with intent that didn’t match his strike. He was toying with her, and to look at the peculiar grin toying at the edges of her small mouth I knew she was playing with him too.

“Sorry about the star, Raph,” Karai snickered, never taking her eyes off Leo.

“Hmpf,” I grunted, weaving my way across the dojo, thinking that Karai and Leo’s dance wasn’t too different than mine and Zoe’s, only Leo and Karai would crash against each other then flow around the obstacle in their path, seeking a new direction together. Zoe and I just clawed at the walls, determined to fight our way through.

As I walked passed Donnie’s lab I glanced in to see April nodding and searching for whatever he’d asked her to find. When she’d hand it to him their eyes would meet, then they’d both blush and look away, returning to their task. They were another pair that needed to have a good long chat, if either of them would just get up the courage to do it. No matter how that turned out though, I could tell, they’d still be friends for a lifetime.

Mikey and Exodus were playing a fighting game as I made my way through the living area, “Hey Mikey, would you look after Lucy for me? I’m gonna be out late.”

“Sure thing Raph. Where ya goin?” He waved the controller around just out of X’s reach, laughing at her as she stretched but couldn’t get her hand on it.

“That is not fair Michelangelo!” she protested, tugging on his arm.

“Out,” I sighed, wishing for a moment that Zoe and I were as relaxed about everything as the two of them. _Now where was she? Not in the dojo, not in the lab, not in the living area… Kitchen maybe?_

I walked through the concrete arch, into the nightlight lit kitchen and sure enough she was slumped in a chair, shoveling heaping scoops of ice cream into her mouth. The freezer door was open and she appeared to be talking to Icecream Kitty, while Lucy munched on a leaf on the table beside her.

“So, what’s going on in here?” I grinned, raising an eye ridge and crossing my arms over my plastron.

She looked at me briefly, before her gray eyes narrowed to slits and she looked at Lucy. “She was hungry, so-”

“I’m not sayin’ anything about Lucy bein’ in here with you,” I shrugged, “I should say somethin’ about you goin’ in my room to get her though.” I reached my hand out to the tortoise as she crawled on it while munching on her leaf.

Even in the dim lighting of the room I saw her face darken and her eyes close, “Sorry.”

“S’alright, this time. Next time maybe just ask for her?” Placing Lucy securely on my shoulder I reached down and wrapped my hand over Zoe’s spoon holding fingers, and she released it to me, a look of surprise on her face. “Do you mind, I really like this flavor?” I asked, picking up the pint with my other hand, scooping a bite and tasting it before placing the lid back on top and putting in the freezer next to Icecream Kitty. “G-night Kitty,” I said as I closed the freezer.

The Neapolitan cat purred in response.

“I wasn’t done with that.” Zoe’s protest was pathetic, she didn’t even get out of her chair and as I set my gaze on her I found her face in her hands.

“Hmm, yeah you were.” I wrapped my fingers over hers, pulling her hand away but holding on to her, enjoying the warmth her skin brought against mine. “Come with me.” I tugged lightly and she sighed but didn’t argue, letting me lead her through the living area, were I passed Lucy off to Mikey and we walked out the lair door without looking back.

“Where are we going?” She whined, shuffling her feet against the dirt covered concrete.

“Quit pouting. You’ll see. Keep up.” I picked up a pace that made her move her feet, grinning a little as I decided to challenge her. We’d get there faster and it would be a lot better than her pouting, after all Splinter said to have fun. Glancing at her over my shoulder, I grinned, “Come on Z, catch me if you can.”

Her jaw shifted and her eyes flashed like lightning, “Why should I?”

“Because you want to know where I’m taking you,” I laughed before breaking into an easy jog.

Zoe had cheetah speed, but it was only good for a sprint, she had no endurance and I didn’t want to wear her out and a full out run would.   So I moved just quick enough that weaving through the maze of tunnels only took fifteen minutes rather than thirty. “Going up!” I called to her as I scaled the ladder and shoved the manhole aside, reaching down to lift her out.

She tugged the rubber-band from her hair and began running her fingers through it. There was a light blush to her cheeks from the exertion of chasing after me and I thought it highlighted the stardust of freckles across the bridge of her nose and under her eyes, a trait of hers that I’d grown to adore. She straightened her olive green tank top and shoved her hands in the pockets of her blue jeans, “Where are we Raph?”

“Not quite there yet,” I said sliding the cover back over the manhole then holding my hand out to her.

As she tugged on a beautiful lock of her copper colored hair, her eyes flickered up to mine and I saw the uncertainty in them, laced with a hint of her rebellious nature and I felt a shiver roll through me. One corner of her mouth curved up a bit as she placed her hand in mine.

The night air was cool over my skin and it helped quell the heat that kept coursing throughout me. I led her to the nearest fire escape, wrapped my arm around her, inhaled her honeysuckle scent and whispered in her ear, “I’m not Leo and I won’t apologize for it.” Then I snatched her up, carrying her to the top of a ten story high rise.

As I set her on her feet I watched her explore a rooftop she’d never been to. I knew exactly which way she’d go first, straight toward the side facing the Brooklyn Bridge. She leaned against the wall resting her arms on the safety railing, the wind blowing her hair around and for once she didn’t bother to try and tame it. I crept up behind her, letting the long red strands grab at my face as I leaned against her back, wrapping my arms around her and turning my mouth toward her neck. As the air blew over us, her scent filled my nostrils and I felt the familiar thrill course through me and closed my eyes allowing myself to drink her in. “Do you like it?” I whispered after a long moment of savoring the realness of a girl I was certain never existed. _Not for me._

She leaned her cheek back against mine, her eyes closing. She seemed grateful to be here with me and my heart swelled. “You know what I like,” her words were barely audible but still rang true to me.

I hummed in her ear, squeezing her lightly before we both looked out toward the water. At first I’d thought she liked the bench, but it didn’t take long for me to realize that what she really wanted was to be near the water. She’d watch the waves crashing against each other, her eyes skimming over the twists and turns, and I knew she noticed the details, the foam crests, the greens, blues and blacks, the way the force of it would push the ships around. She admired water and I’d thought that odd before I understood who we are and what it meant for us.

There was only one element that could ever extinguish a flame and if you understood that, and knew who you were the way she did, that’d make her damn near invincible. The earth was Zoe’s spark, air fuel to her flame, and water was the only thing that could ever put it out. And I was the other end of a rope bridge, burning my way straight for her and when we met, a wildfire began and I was ready to let it rage. I was beyond wanting to hold this back anymore. Zoe was fearless and I loved her for it.

 

 


	48. Chapter 48

**All of Me**

_You’re my end and my beginning_

_Even when I lose I’m winning_

_Cause I give you all of me_

~John Legend~

**The Flame Part II**

**Zoe**

To say the view took my breath away didn’t do it justice. But it did, with an amazing angle of the bridge, the ships, and most of all the water as it crashed against the shore, reaching out for anything that dare get in its way, swallowing it up and pulling it in and sometimes spitting it back out. The city lights reflected off the ebbing and flowing emerald colored depths, dancing off every ripple and I could almost feel the softness of it beneath my palms. Water was a funny thing, the way it shifted and moved, adapting to its environment and working its way through. It was gentle yet powerful, and the ocean could be smooth and flowing or violent and savage. Water was the one thing that actually posed me a challenge… it and Raphael.

He’d lured me away from the lair with relative ease after three days of not speaking, and here I stood looking over my favorite element, with his arms wrapped around me and I knew something was going on, I just had no idea what. For the moment, I breathed in his cedary scent and found that it, paired with the hardness of his plastron against my back, his muscled arms resting gently around my waist and his cheek against mine, filled me with emotions I’d spent the past few days trying to sort out and without a word he’d stirred them all up, leaving me willing to go anywhere with him, no matter what might happen and at least for this moment I was glad that I had.

After a long while I squeezed his hand and he released me so I could turn toward him but my hair blew across my face and while I caught it with one hand I was still unable to see him for the loose strands clinging to my eyelashes, “I like it up here. Why didn’t you show me this sooner?”

Finally wrestling away my rebellious red locks, I looked in his eyes, and my heart stopped. I’d caught glimpses of something a few times, an emotion that I had yet to name. But right then, images of April’s sketch flickered through my mind and I remembered what I’d felt, what I knew when I’d seen it. Suddenly I found myself unable to function because he was looking at me like that right now, only this time it was as clear to me as the green of his eyes.

“Hmm,” he made a small noise and led me away from the wind, sheltering us by a utility closet where he leaned against it and pulled me to him, placing me between his legs, almost leaning against him. “I’ve never brought anyone here. I come here sometimes to think, and I realized a while ago that you’d like it, but I was saving it.”

I felt my heartbeat quicken and my palms felt damp. I wiped them on my jeans and asked him, “Saving it for what?”

“In case we ever came to this,” he motioned between the two of us.

“What have we come to Raph?” I bit my lip, slightly unsure of where he was going with this, knowing that with Raphael it could easily go either way.

He made a grumbly noise before clearing his throat and I watched him struggle for the right words before he spoke. “Remember when you said you didn’t need to put a label on what we were doin’?”

“Yes,” I murmured.

He nodded, “And when I told you we weren’t a couple?”

“Yes,” I swallowed, and tried to slow my breathing. Sometimes just being near him made me nervous, and right now was no exception, my stomach flittered and twisted while my head spun with unanswered questions, leaving me feeling slightly overwhelmed by it all.

“Well that’s changed.” His eyes searched mine and I wanted to reassure him, but at the same time I knew he had more to say, and he’d put a lot of thought into it, so I was determined to let him work through it.

“How?”

He sighed, “I want to know where this is going. I always have, I just fought it because I think you deserve better. I still think that. But it doesn’t seem to matter to you and,” his eyes narrowed and he frowned, “I know I can never give you normal, but damn it I want you just the same. It’s selfish and probably wrong but I can’t help it Zoe, you’ve etched yourself in here,” he tapped his plastron but still didn’t look at me, “not to mention you’re in my head, and after what you did a couple days ago, it just makes me want you more. From the first time I laid eyes on you I wanted to _know_ more, and then I started to get to know you and I _felt_ more, from the dishes, to the knife throwing, to the pranks and the food fight, to the sparring and the missions, right down to Lucy,” he shook his head, “I want more Zoe, I want it all… and I want it, with you.” His hands smoothed down my hair and he pulled me closer forcing himself to look in my eyes and my head was filled with the thrum of my pulse rushing through my ears. His beautiful green gems peered deep within me, strumming chords in my soul and nudging places that made my heart stir in ways I didn’t know it could, and then he spoke, slowly and clearly and with every bit of certainty he possessed, “I love you Zoe.”

I let his voice repeat itself in my head, again and again. But I didn’t just blurt it out back to him, even though I knew it was how I felt too. No, I relished those words, tasted them on his lips when I kissed him, smelled it on his skin with every inhale, felt it beneath the texture of his calloused and scarred flesh as my fingertips slid over every pebble textured scale, he was remarkable, and as deep as the ocean he’d brought me to. And as my eyes soaked him up, from tattered crimson mask to flat nose and large mouth to the lightning bolt shaped chip in his plastron, I knew that I had always adored him, because he fed the fire within me, he encouraged it, he understood it, and he understood _me_. He’d play in the flames with me and I was happy to burn with him so long as we were together. As I peered into his eyes I saw a reflection of myself with flames engulfing my feet as clear green waters poured over me, but I was not afraid and far from alone. I was complete, and as he believed I was his, I knew he was my destiny. “I love you too Raphael.”


	49. Chapter 49

**Raphael**

Once we’d confessed our feelings for one another, and engaged in a make-out session that left gears turning in my head so fast I felt like one of those pull back toys right before it gets released, we’d taken to making small talk about silly nonsensical things that were details about one another that we didn’t know but were nice to.

“What’s your favorite color?” I asked her then teased, “And you better say red.”

She giggled and the sound only broadened the smile I feared was going to be permanently etched on my face. _Won’t that be great for my reputation?_

“Green,” she whispered and my heart skipped a beat.

“Good answer,” I kissed her cheek. “You’re turn.”

“It’s getting late don’t you think we should be heading back?” Zoe looked at her watch-bracelet then contradicted herself by pulling my arms tighter around her tiny waist.

I buried my face in her hair, drawing in as much of that amazing light scent as I possibly could in one breath. “Nope, and you won’t get in trouble. I talked to Sensei before we left.”

She ran her fingers lightly over my hand and leaned her head back to brush her cheek against mine. “Good, then let’s stay here forever.”

“Sure, we won’t starve, the cure will find itself, and all of our enemies will just have change of heart.” I was internally kicking myself for opening my mouth and pretty sure I was able to ruin any moment without even trying.

But Zoe kept her cool and just snuggled herself up against my plastron. I felt like cold butter than could just melt against the warmth of her, but I still had the paper wrapped around me… in the form of a shell.

“I’m running out of questions. I mean I know your favorite color, food, animal, weapon and what scares you.” She tugged on a strand of hair, twisting it around her finger thoughtfully.

“What’s your favorite animal?”

“Raphael, ask me something you don’t know the answer to. My favorite color is green, my favorite food is gyoza, my favorite animal is a turtle, my preferred weapon is my tessen but my favorite is my compound bow. Ask me something you really want to know, because I can tell there’s something.”

For a second I felt like she’d flipped on me and if I didn’t understand her so well I’d be mad, and I was a little, because her tone bit into me. But there _wasn’t_ something bothering _me_. There was something eating at _her_. “I’m not so sure it’s me with a burning question Z. It may be you this time.”

She slumped in my arms, and sighed, “I know.” She shrugged, “I even know the answer.”

“What was the question?” I gave her a reassuring squeeze.

“Why are you always first in? And don’t answer, because I think I already know. But it bothers me.” She closed her eyes, seeming to resign herself against my shoulder.

I didn’t say anything for a few minutes and she started to squirm and I knew I had to respond. “Is this one of those times when you asked a question, know the answer, tell me not to answer it, but in face expect me to?”

She groaned and pulled herself away from me, then tipped her head up toward the sky and sighed. Her coppery locks lay in a mass of wild waves that resembled flames down her back. She was a little thing, but remarkably resilient, an amazing kunoichi, because she was in fact a weapon. No one would ever expect this tiny, unassuming woman to be well… downright dangerous.  

“I think maybe you want to tell me why I’m first in, because you aren’t sure why you are too.” I thought it was a good neutral comment, hopefully it wouldn’t get me in trouble but at the same time maybe she’d be able to sort through whatever was going on in her beautiful head.

“How can I be first if you are?” A sly grin played at the corners of her lips but her eyes told me she wasn’t really joking.

“You brought this up, not me Z.”

Her gaze drifted to my belt then back to my eyes.

“So we love each other. We could’ve danced around that, we could still choose to back away from it. Like you said, we still need those meds, that cure, and what of our enemies?” The moonlight cast a shadow on her face setting her red hair aflame, and made it so that her gray eyes resembled polished silver. She looked like an angel, all she needed was wings. But it was the weight of her burdens, the ever looming darkness, that brought her slowly to her knees. “We’re going to be fighting for the rest of our lives Raphael.” She glanced at me, “What do you think it’s like for them?”

“For who?” I wanted to wrap my arms around her, pull her to me and tell her that it would be all right. We’d figure it out. But I couldn’t because she was right where I knew we were headed in the beginning.

“Everyone who is not you and me, Leo or Karai, Donnie or April, X or Mikey, them, normal people, get in your car and go to school or work people. The same people who worry about paying their bills, shopping, parties, fancy ceremonies and celebrations. Then there’s flip of them, the sick, the vile, the perverse, and those people, they’re our problem. Whether we are alone or together, it doesn’t matter. It’s a fight to the death, our lives. And I know why,” the tears in her eyes were like raindrops slipping from storm clouds, the pain in them made my gut hurt like I’d been sucker punched. She looked at me and nodded, “Why we’re first in.”

I wasn’t about to speak, not while she was working this out and I kind of feared where it might end up, because I’d committed myself to her and it might break me if she backed out now.

“We care less for ourselves than the ones we love. We’re ready to lay down everything we are without notice. And we charge in ready to face whatever’s waiting even if it ends in darkness.” Her gaze drifted to the concrete beneath her, “It’s such a simple reason, yet everything that powers it is so damn profound. Our lives could be short Raphael, short, dark and painful.” She ran her hands through her hair, set her jaw, those eyes steeled and she got to her feet, “But I’ll tell you this, I’d take short and bittersweet over long and lonely with you any day.”

We met each other halfway. And if this way going to work, for however long it could, that was how it had to be. To say I kissed her would be true, but when my lips met hers all of our problems fell away, meds, cures, enemies, it all dissolved, it was all on hold and there was only this little girl and me, an awkward mutant turtle. As I tasted her fruity lip balm and a hint of mint toothpaste, I could smell honeysuckle as sweet and airy as a summer breeze, and beneath my fingers rest the well-defined muscles of a girl who trained as hard as I did and who loved as fiercely. But there was an odd feeling of distance, that hadn’t been there before and it confused me, because we’d just committed ourselves to being closer than ever.

 

 

 

 


	50. Chapter 50

**Zoe**

I tightened the dirty laces of my faded walking shoes, stalling outside his bedroom door. Closing my eyes, I replayed the night before over and over in my head, those endless green eyes, his sweet crooked grin, the leather and cedarwood smell of him, the feel of his slightly pebbled flesh beneath my fingers, every perfect moment right up to when he told me he loved me. He was imprinted on my heart and I only hoped he’d forgive me.

Reaching into my keep I laid the envelope, knife, my bracelet-watch, and phone outside his door. The lump in my throat hurt, it ached like I’d swallowed a jawbreaker and with every breath I felt the pain radiate throughout me. I bit my lip, blinked furiously, stood up straight, swallowed hard and left the lair.

 

**Raphael**

**Day 1**

“Raph!” Mikey pounded on my bedroom door, “Raph! I almost cut my foot open on this knife. Why’s all t his stuff outside your door? And have you seen Zoe? Dude, if she’s in there again you two are gonna get in trouble.” My door rattled as he hit it again, “Raph!”

“Go away,” I grumbled, pulling my pillow over my head. _Knife? What knife? And no Zoe’s not in here. Wait. What?_

There was more pounding on the door and my little brother prattled on repeating himself about how much trouble Zoe and I would be in.

I rolled out of bed and yanked open the door, “Zoe ain’t in here. And what’re you goin’ on about?”

Mikey’s light blue eyes were glossy, his mouth bowed in a frown that could melt the heart of an ice queen. He pointed to a pile of items at his feet, “I think Zoe’s gone Raph.”

A tornado of nausea whirled through me as I recognized her watch, phone and favorite throwing knife. From where my eyes rested on the floor I saw a mix of human and turtle feet gathering behind Michelangelo, and then one set that belonged to a rat.

My father’s paw-like hand gathered the items and he handed them to me. Among them was a long spring green colored envelope addressed to me. My stomach turned and I thought for sure I was going to be sick. She was gone. I knew it. I felt it. But I couldn’t understand it.

“I think we should give Raphael some time,” Sensei ushered my family downstairs then turned back toward me. “We are here if you need us Raphael.” His ears drooped on top of his head and I thought he must feel as confused as I was.

As I closed my bedroom door and almost tripped over Lucy, I stumbled into my drum set, as my hand crashing through the top of my snare a storm brewed within me. I yanked it free and heard the thunderclap, as I ripped the drum from its base lightning crashed, and as I reached for my weapons a hurricane ascended.


	51. Chapter 51

**Raphael**

**A Month Later**

There a chasm growing inside me, wide and empty, and the only thing I’d found to fill it with was an anger that was tipping on the verge of rage with every passing day. A part of me was missing and the love I felt was tearing away at my insides because it wouldn’t go away and all I could do was fight. Fight. With everything I had in me, just to make my feet move, and once they did that was the landscape of my day, to keep fighting.

The annoying buzz of my alarm kept returning even though I’d smacked the snooze button at least five times. Reaching under my pillow for my sai I flicked my wrist and the clock hissed and crackled before it died. I opened one eye, yanking my weapon from the stupid gadget, knocking over a half dozen of throwing knives and a stupid green envelope that I’d yet to open. Snarling, I punched my fist through the side of the nightstand then grabbed the back of it and sent it flying forward. Then I closed my eyes and buried my head back under my pillow.

The millions of questions that ran through my head a hundred times a day began. Why did she leave? Why, when she’d just told me she loved me? Where did she go? Was she safe? We didn’t have a fight. What did I do wrong? Did she ever really care? How could she do this? Why were the others going on like it made sense? Why wasn’t anyone doing anything? Why? Would I ever see her again? Did she miss me? God, how I missed her and it hurt so damn bad. Every damn breath hurt.

I felt something crawling on my shoulder, pulled the pillow from my head and stared at Lucy’s teardrop shaped eyes. “You miss her too, huh?”

I’d looked everywhere. I thought she’d gone back to Hunter but after watching his place for two weeks I knew she hadn’t. Sadly beyond that I didn’t know where else to look, so every single night ended on our rooftop. Part of me just kept hoping that she’d come back, and I’d fantasize about the hell I’d give her if she did.

“Raph, come on!” Mikey’s singsong voice beckoned from outside my door, like it had every morning since she left.

I lifted Lucy from my shoulder, sat up and stared at the un-open envelope tempting me with its very presence. But I still couldn’t bring myself to open it, because nothing she had to say would make this any easier.

 

 

 


	52. Chapter 52

**Raphael**

**Month 2**

Nothing has changed. I’m starting to get used to the pain. It’s like a wound that won’t heal. She’s like a ghost haunting me with every memory, and trinket, from doing push-ups with her sitting on my shell, to a first kiss in the ha-shi, to sharing ice cream over our troubles. My room was destroyed a pile of knives still lay under my fractured nightstand, a stupid green envelope still taunting me every morning and night.

What was eating at me right now was how it had been two months and our team, our family, had done nothing to find her. They’d been going along like they were fine with it and I knew if it had been any of them we’d have had a search party out the day she’d left. And every one of them kept playing the same damn song over and over. It was on their phones, ipods, they’d changed their ringtones. The damn melody was everywhere and I’d grown to hate it. All of it except for one word, the one I’d lived by my entire life, it was the one thing that hadn’t changed and never would. Fight. Fight, and keep looking, even if I had to do it alone.

Right now they were playing a video game. A video game, while Zoe was who knows where, doing God only knows what. And I was here pining for her and I was sick of it.

“I’m going out,” I retrieved a sai from our Shredder dummy, turned and left the lair.

I heard him behind me before I’d made it to the surface.

“Raph?”

“What do you want Mikey? Don’t you have a game to play with Exodus?” Her name hurt to say as much as her face was unbearable to look at. In some ways she was where so much of this began. If she hadn’t been captured, Zoe may not have been there when we rescued April.

Mikey frowned, “Nah, Bro, she wasn’t feelin’ good and went to lie down. Besides, I wanted to uh- talk.”

“The meds went further with her gone but they’re still almost out aren’t they?” I shoved the manhole cover aside and lifted myself out.

Michelangelo didn’t answer me, but he didn’t need to. Donnie had cut their dosage to make the dwindling supply last a little longer and neither girl was doing very well since. I scaled the nearest fire escape, glanced at my brother and challenged him, “You can hang, if you can keep up.”

My brother’s smile was as bright as his bandana and I was glad he’d come along for the relief he brought me. “Maybe it’s you who won’t be able to keep up with me,” his eyes closed and he bobbed his silly head and I took advantage of his goofiness.

We ran for two hours, flipping, leaping, and jumping one rooftop after another. The unforgiving slap of cement beneath my feet hurt like every dead end I’d run into searching for her. The wind stung my lungs, cutting into me as deep as the cavernous hole she’d left dying and vacant. And every drop of sweat hurt like the mass of tears crashing in tides within me demanding to be released. But I kept fighting. I just had to keep fighting.


	53. Chapter 53

**Raphael**

**Month 3**

She’s never coming back. It’s time to put this room back together. Lucy’s looking at me as I open the trash bag and shove in some of my favorite things, that I’d destroyed in my rampage. I’m almost done. It’s only taken an entire day and I’ve avoided one corner of the room, where there’s a shattered nightstand, a speared alarm clock, a pile of throwing knives and a mangled green envelope.

As I sit on the floor among the blades and pile them up I stare at the stupid green paper, glaring at my name written in English in her script, with my name in khanji beneath it. Lucy crawls over and starts to chew on the corner.

“Nah, Luc, that ain’t a leaf.” I take it from her and as my hand waves it away I catch the scent of honeysuckle in the air and for a second I can feel her with me again and my heart wrenches.

There’s a knock on my door.

“Raph, dinner’s ready.” Mikey has taken to knocking and then sticking his head in the door, since on several occasions recently, I’ve refused to answer.

“Not hungry,” I grumble, picking at the corner of the envelope where Lucy chewed a hole.

“You never read it?” Mikey shoved the door open and stepped in, knowing full well he could lose his shell.

“It won’t change nothin’, she’ll still be gone.” I tossed it to the side, but as I moved to get to my feet an orange colored paper was thrust in my face. “What the shell is this?”

“It’s mine. Everyone got one Raphael. Why do you think we didn’t go for her?”

I shoved the paper out of my face, “Words don’t change things Mikey, she’ll still be gone and-” There was a lump in my throat and if I tried to finish, I’d lose. I’d lose the fight. And I refused to give in.

“You’ll still be hurting?”

 _God, yes._ But I didn’t so much as breathe in fear of feeling the loss. The irreparable loss that felt like a damn death it hurt so bad and seemed so endless.

The orange paper floated to the ground beside me and my bedroom door shut quietly behind him. I stared at the corner of it as it settled over the green envelope. Then my door opened again and a blue sheet fluttered to rest above the orange, followed by a purple one, a yellow one, a bright blue one, and a pink one, and finally a brown one.

“Casey Jones has one too Raph,” my best friend’s voice filled my ears as a grey sheet of paper landed on the myriad of colors.

Each one was crinkled, from being opened and closed, read and re-read. I could see food stains on Mikey’s, dirt on Casey’s, some kind of strange fluorescent color on Donnie’s, and Exodus’ had lipstick marks on it, like she’d been kissing it.

“You’re not alone and she…”

“Don’t Casey, just don’t.”

The bedroom door closed and I was alone with my loss, staring at a rainbow of papers and my eyes inched over how bare they were… _Was there anything on them at all?_ I picked Casey’s up and turned it over.

This is my fight song*

Take back my life song*

Prove I’m alright song*

I’ll be strong*

Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me.*

 

TAKE CARE OF HIM.

 

What the hell? I picked up Leo’s, April’s, Donnie’s, Mikey’s, X’s, Karai’s and even Master Splinters.

It’s the flipping lyrics to the damn song. What is that even supposed to mean? How, how did this keep them from looking for her?

A hurricane was forming within me and I knew, as I ripped open my envelope, that if my stupid note said the same thing as the others that there would be tsunami for an aftermath.

 

But it didn’t.

 

Dear Raphael,

I won’t apologize. Now, I could apologize for that, but we both know that’d be pointless. I wonder how long it’ll take me to get back to you. And part of me suspects you might still not have read this by the time I do. But believe me, I will come home and I don’t want to be away. But there are these things I have to deal with or they’ll just keep getting in our way. Everything we talked about, meds, cures, enemies. It’s a nasty list, a terrible endless mess that I feel like I can knock a few things off of. The things that shouldn’t be on there, that came with me, things that were before you. I still know who we are and that our fight will never end and that’s okay, because there’s no one else I’d trust with my life quite like you. The thing is, I need to do this from the inside and you can’t come with me, not here. They won’t break me Raphael. There’s nothing they can do to me, because you are part of me and when I’m tired, I’ll draw my fight from there, from my love for you. I’ll get the other half of the cure and be home before you know it. And hopefully you’ll forgive me, but whether you do or not, I’ll still love you because you are my unmei-no-hito.

Love, Zoe

 

A/N: Song Quote: Fight Song by Rachel Platten


	54. Chapter 54

**Fight Song**

Losing friends and I’m chasing sleep

Everybody’s worried about me

In too deep

Say I’m in too deep

~Rachel Platten~

 

**Raphael**

 

I felt her with me again, like reading that stupid note sparked the flint and a tiny light was burning and I was more than ready to feed the flame. “If I get my hands on her I’d be tempted to put a tracer on her just to keep her from pulling this on me again,” I grumbled.

 

I sat in lotus with the papers, knives and Lucy spread before me. “My heart can’t take this crap.”

 

Taking a deep breath I reached within myself, to a place I seldom had the patience to visit. It wasn’t dark, or light for that matter, and for lack of a better explanation it wasn’t anywhere, it was more of a feeling, a myriad of memories, details absorbed and filed away, for a time like this. And I knew if I waited long enough, if I cleared my head, and opened my heart, everything I needed to find her would come rushing back to me.

 

It took me a while to piece it together. First, I recalled the number on the crate from the mission when I’d saved her from falling, and again on the box I’d been shoved in when she’d rescued me. And then there were more details, tiny things that bothered me…

 

The rooftop of her favorite bench wasn’t just near Hunter’s place or a good view of the ocean, it was on the docks and overlooked the bay on the Jersey side where there were warehouses, but one stood out above all the others, one that looked like a giant version of the glass crates.

 

“I might know where she is,” I screamed as I ran downstairs.

 

My family, less one important person, looked up at me from the pit.

 

“Well, it’s about time you opened that letter.” Leo crossed his arms over his plastron and smirked.

 

“Why didn’t you say somethin’ sooner?” I yelled at him.

 

“It wasn’t our letter to open Raph.” Mikey’s eyes were sincere and deep as he shook his head and shrugged.

 

“We could’ve gone for her three months ago.” I slapped myself in the face, “I’m such an idiot.”

 

“You said that, not me.” Casey flashed me a gap toothed grin.

 

“Well, where is she?” Donnie asked, looking up from his laptop.

 

“Pull up a view of the docks, New York side but,” I pointed to his computer and in a few keystrokes Donatello had the docks on the screen, “now can you shift the view to the Jersey side. That building right there, what’s the address?” I tapped the smoky glass cube that looked too fancy to be a warehouse.

 

“Gemini Laboratories, 42637 S 42nd Street, New Jersey,” Donnie answered.

 

“That’s it, I’m sure of it.” I stared at the picture and it suddenly occurred to me that Zoe had been keeping an eye on The Shredder all along. I don’t know how long she’d known, but that’s where we’d find her or at least a clue that would take us to her.

“How do you know Raph?” Mikey cocked his head to the side and a pizza sauce covered finger hovered toward the screen.

 

“Don’t even think about it.” Donnie swiped his hand away and Mikey raised his finger again. “Stop it!”

 

“You never let me have any fun,” Mikey pouted.

 

“I know because the building looks like the crate I was shoved in. And then there’s that.” I pointed to the address, “42637 keeps showing up. It was on the first mission when Zoe went for the canisters, and then again on the crates in Hunter’s warehouse.”

 

“Well let’s run a recon mission and take it from there,” Leo ordered.

 

“Where’s April and X?” I asked and Donnie frowned and shook his head.

 

Karai rubbed her face and cleared her throat. I hadn’t even noticed her until just now. “They’re having a bad day, April’s sleeping in Zoe’s bed and X is in her own.” She looked exhausted from worrying about her friends, but she seemed to steel herself with a set of her jaw, “I’m going to suit up and then once we bring her home, I’m going to kick Zoe’s butt from here back to wherever we save her from.”

 

“Me first,” I said cracking my neck.


	55. Chapter 55

**Fight Song**

Like a small boat

On the ocean

Sending big waves

Into motion

Like how a single word

Can make a heart open

I might have only one match

But I can make an explosion

~Rachel Platten~

 

**Zoe**

 

After spending the first two months in the dungeon I thought I’d gotten off easy. I was relatively unwounded, save for the slash across my bicep that welcomed me home. And I was particularly pleased today as I slipped into my foot uniform leaving off the mask, opting to wrestle my wild locks in a tame knot on the back of my head. Standing bone straight I knelt before him and awaited orders that I’d already heard rumored to be coming my way.

 

“Zoe, you will go to the lab today. Stockman needs some blood samples. Afterward you are to make a delivery to Donovan. Do not disappoint me Zoe, or your punishment will be most…” He glared at me through his one good eye and I steeled myself, “unfortunate.”

 

“Yes Master,” I managed through the wave of disgust that rose up from my gut.

 

The lab had been off access to me, and I knew it would be until they needed something from me. Today was just what I’d been waiting for. As Xever handed me the keycard that would permit me entry to the lab and I made my way to the elevator the plot I had been working on for the past three months was put into motion.

 

As the long awaited doors parted and I stepped into the vast white space, light flickered in through the skylights making waves over the pearl colored marble beneath my feet. Besides Stockman, the disgusting vomiting fly that I could smell from clear across the room, there was no one else in the huge lab.

 

“ZZZZZZoooooeeee,” he buzzed and my stomach turned for the hundredth time today.

 

“Stockman, Shredder says you need a blood sample. Want me to do it myself, since you seem to be buzzzzzy?” I began rolling up my sleeve as I mocked him.

 

“Very, zzzzz, funny. But nooo, I actually am injecting you with zzzzomething,” He stopped to regurgitate something vile before picking up a orange glowing syringe and flying over to me.

 

Crap. That’s not part of my plan.

 

As he landed next to me, aiming for my neck, I reached up and snatched the syringe at the same time spin kicking him in the chest sending him whizzing past me with a sickening crunch and thud.

 

“Gross,” I winced and tossed the tube away.

 

Cameras, I have to kill the cameras. Oh, but I need to tie him up first. Or cameras first? Ugh.

 

“ZZzzzzoeee that was uncalled forrrrr,” Baxter groaned rubbing a prickly leg against his huge prism eyes.

 

I ran over toward him launching my grappling hook into the wall beside his head. He flinched and I used the rope to bind him. “Okay Fly Boy, I’m looking for the second half of the compound known as the cure. Where in this lab is it?”

 

Baxter laughed, buzzed and cackled, “Games, games, games,” his body seemed to vibrate as he buzzed and laughed, “Games, games…”

 

My jaw shifted as I balled my hand into a fist, drew back and landed one square in the middle of his nasty bug face. Greenish slime oozed from somewhere on the nasty messed up spot I’d hit and he whimpered pathetically.

 

“Games, you want gamezzzz Zoe, 42637, 42637…” the tips of his wings fluttered and I wanted to tear them off.

 

“What are you talking about Stockman? And you’d better hurry up or you’re going to wish you where a maggot again.” I pulled a blade from beneath my sleeve and jabbed it up against what looked like it may be a throat.

 

“That project wassss called Games, you want bin number 42637 on the back wall,” he spit out something that looked like bile then I hit him over the back of his head to knock him out. He was so gross I could hardly tolerate being near him.

 

Glancing around the room I spied two cameras and thankfully my little run in with Baxter wasn’t in view of either of them. But the bins on the back wall were. There was a row of computers near the lab entry doors to my far right. I’d come in through the elevator by the office. The office. Maybe, I could shut down the cameras from the office.

 

The office door wasn’t even closed. A cup of coffee steamed from beside the computer and it looked like Stockman had been working on it recently. I slid into the rolling chair and touched the mouse. A screen saver covered with flies disappeared and I minimized all the windows he had open.

 

“Okay, security, security… Donatello I could so use your help right now.” I mumbled as I scrolled over the icons.

 

Ah, this is taking too long. I’m gonna do it my way. I pushed the chair back, reached in my pocket, and flung two shuriken right at the camera lenses.

 

“Better, fast, efficient, I like it.” I wiped my hands on my thighs and sprint toward the bins.

 

Not 1, 2, 3, oh yes 4’s. Okay, oh good there it is! I bet the code to this one is the same as the number. I still can’t figure out how that secure but I’m not an evil mastermind so, whatever. I punched in the number and white steam wafted out as the door hissed and opened. I reached inside and pulled two small canisters forth, quickly shoving them into my utility belt.

 

Okay, now time to blow this joint. But as I turned around I found Xever and Rahzar stepping off the elevator.

 

“Hey!” Rahzar growled.

 

Using my cheetah speed I raced for the ground level doors, pushing through them and skidding to a stop in an unlit hallway. Why are the lights out? This isn’t good. I’m exposed. My animal eyes adjusted to the darkness and I saw Tiger Claw coming down the hall to my right as Xever and Rahzar appeared on the other side of the lab doors. Taking a left I ran to the end of the hall and found Foot ninja blocking what appeared to be my only exit, but a glance to my right placed me right by a staircase.

 

I flung that door open, slamming it shut behind me and locking it before racing upstairs cursing myself because I didn’t want to go up, I wanted out. Well, whether I went down with the building or not, this thing wasn’t going to be standing by the end of the day. Dropping my keep to my feet I pulled forth the first of many small black devices I had loaded within it, placed it on the door, currently threatening to surrender to the wrath of Tiger Claw, and raced up to the next level. The door was locked and I repeated my process before climbing to the third level. As I tugged and pulled I heard feet pounding on the steps beneath me, flung my device onto yet another door and raced up to the next level. Finally an open door! Reaching into my keep I pulled yet another device as well as a smoke bomb, which I dropped down the open space in the stair well. I could hear Tiger Claw cursing me and Rahzar yelling to Xever about getting off his tail.

 

That gave me a few seconds. I’ll take it.

 

Racing down the hall I tossed armed devices all along the way, trying to open every door I passed but finding them all locked. As the hall filled with Shredders best henchmen behind me and Foot Ninja poured in both to my left and ahead of me, I slapped a device on a locked door, punched in a code and tried to shelter myself from the blast, but as I ducked down I felt myself lifted from above.

 

Whatever it was pulled me into the ceiling growling and I struggled against its iron grip, “Still blowing up things without any cover I see.”

 

“Raph?” My breath caught in my throat as I looked down at the muscled arms holding me.

 

He grumbled but said nothing and didn’t look at me as he let me go. A quick look around me showed us to be alone. “Where’s everyone else?”

 

Ignoring me he slapped a bracelet on my wrist and whipped out his phone, but used it like a walkie.

 

“Found her on the fourth floor.” He looked at me, “Do you have them?”

 

“Yes.” I answered without looking at him.

 

“She’s got them. Exit plan? Yeah, I remember. We’ll meet you there.” He shoved his phone back in his belt and grabbed my wrist, yanking me along behind him as he crept through the rafters.

 

“Let me go Raph. Take the canisters and meet up with the others. I’ve got to finish what I started.” I dug my heels in against the steel, jerking him backward.

 

He snarled as he wheeled on me, grabbing the collar of my leotard and yanking me up to his face, “I don’t know what you have planned and I don’t care. We are leaving now.”

 

My fingers wrapped over his, “I’m blowing the lab, Raph. It’s kind of already wired. I’ve been dropping smaller devices today but I’ve been planting bombs on the lower floors for weeks. So, uh, yeah, this is it. I have one on the roof to detonate and then the whole place goes boom. So here,” I grabbed the canisters and held them out to him, “Get these to Donnie.”

 

“No,” he released my collar and grabbed my hand, “let’s do it together.”

 

“Where is our team meeting?” I asked, avoiding his eyes out of respect for him.

 

“How do I know I can trust you anymore?” He hissed.

 

“We don’t have time for this.” I stood up and he yanked me back down.

 

“The roof is that way,” He pointed to an air shaft behind us.

 

I reached into my keep and pulled out a knife, unscrewed the panel and we climbed inside. The closer we crawled up toward the light the vent started to vibrate and I could hear sounds of a helicopter getting louder. Taking a quick peek I saw Shredder escaping, and an involuntary growl erupted from within me.

 

“What are you snarlin’ about?” Raph growled, smacking my leg for me to move up, “and what’s that noise?”

 

“He got away,” I cried, then pressed my back against the wall of the shaft and thrust my feet into the grate denting it but not quite getting it off.

 

“Move,” Raph hissed, nudging me aside and mimicking my actions with perfect results.

 

He climbed out onto the roof and, keeping his eyes averted, and lowered me down beside him. I dropped my keep and pulled out a large device, affixing it to the vent we’d just crawled out of.

 

“What the- you’re carrying bombs in your keep? Are you trying to kill us all?”

 

Ignoring him, I waved a small detonator in one hand, grabbed his with the other and raced for the edge of the building where he dug his heels in, whipping me back from the edge.

 

“Where’s your grappling hook? What, not even an arrow with a rope? There’s no rooftop that way Zoe, where are you jumping to?” He avoided looking me in the eye but searched me over and found none of the things he was asking about.

 

“The water,” I whispered.

 

“I’d make that, but you sure as hell wouldn’t!” He snatched me up, growling as he launched his grappling hook for a building diagonal from us.

 

“Where’s our team Raph?”

 

“Not here.”

 

“Jersey or New York?”  


“Why?”

 

“JERSEY OR NEW YORK RAPHAEL?”

 

“Jersey and not anywhere near this building,” Then, holding me in his arms he swung from the building and I squeezed the trigger on the detonator sending the lab behind us up into a ball of flames.

 

As we landed, shrapnel and debris flew past us and he threw me on the ground covering me with his body. The earth beneath us rumbled and shook as a great dust cloud flew up and settled over us. I coughed and he groaned but held me so close to him it hurt.

 

He coughed and sputtered, then cleared his voice before he could talk. “You okay?” he asked lifting himself off me.

 

“I think so,” I could barely see through the mass of dust but the sound of sirens was rapidly growing louder.

 

“Time to go, come on,” he scooped me up and scaled the fire escape, descending so fast my stomach dropped before he landed and set me down. The wind blew the dust toward us but we could see each other more clearly with the shelter of the building. He scanned me over, reaching out and touching my wounded arm. “You’re bleeding.”

 

“It’s fine, just a welcome home wound, re-opened.” I waved it off and caught sight of the flames licking the sky behind him.

 

He followed my gaze, “What’s burning over there?”

 

“Hunter Donovan’s warehouse,” I brushed the dust off his cheek, kissed it and whispered, “Let’s go home.”  



	56. Chapter 56

**Zoe**

 

Donnie tugged on a stitch, he’d been sewing for ten minutes before he finally spoke to me.

 

“I’m glad you’re home Zoe,” he said tying off a thread before starting another. “This should be the last one.”

 

“I can’t believe you blew up Hunter’s warehouse too,” Karai stuck her head in Donnie’s lab and grinned, “I mean I was totally going to rip you to pieces for leaving us but not only did you blow Shredder’s place, but Hunter’s too.”

 

“And she got the cure,” Exodus blonde head appeared below Karai’s arm.

 

“So how did you manage to blow Hunter’s place from Shredder’s lab?” Leo’s head appeared over Karai’s.

 

Mikey’s head appeared beneath Exodus’s but he just grinned as he stood up and they all fell backward.

 

“Why don’t you guys just come in here and talk to me? I’ve missed you!” I waved them in with my good arm.

 

Donnie cleared his throat, “I still have to wrap this and you should take an antibiotic. It’s never been treated properly.”

 

“Okay, Donnie, whatever you say.” I chirped, soaking in the faces of my desperately missed family.

 

Master Splinter stepped inside, coming to stand right next to me, “I’m glad you are home Zoe, but running away from home falls under a minimum one month grounding.” He kissed my head and snickered as he sauntered towards the door, pausing there with one ear turned in my direction.

 

“What am I grounded from, Sensei?”

 

“Ever leaving us again, Daughter… and you must do Raphael’s chores for the next three months.” He snickered as he walked away.

 

My heart both filled and overflowed, then twisted and jerked. Raphael had disappeared into the downstairs bathroom and had neither spoken or looked at me since we rendezvoused with our team. Once I’d showered upstairs I went straight to Donnie’s lab for stitching up. My arm had three wide gashes from Shredders blades, but other than that and a few bumps and bruises we’d come through with less than usual damage.

 

“Well how did you blow Hunter’s place if you were locked up in Shredder’s lab?” Leo rubbed his chin thoughtfully and I almost laughed as the action reminded me of something Splinter would do.

 

“I went to Shredder’s on my own, I surrendered myself, telling them I was keeping my word. Before I did that I wired Hunter’s building. There was a device on his roof, fire escape, his dumpster, and his doors.”

 

“Where the heck do you get all of these things?” Karai threw her hands up.

 

I laughed, “When I worked for Hunter one of the things gone wrong had nothing to do with my work but I benefit from the mix-up.”

 

“What?” Mikey shook his head.

 

“One of the crates I was supposed to steal should have been full of chemical compounds but there was a mix-up and it was full of the little bombs I use all the time. He didn’t want them so he gave them to me. When I want a bigger boom I just wire them together.” I shrugged.

 

“Where do you keep them Zoe?” Donnie asked as he wrapped my bicep with gauze then covered it with red athletic wrap.

 

“When I’m working, in my keep, but right now they’re in a locker at the bus station.”

 

“Okay, so next mission, bomb retrieval and proper storage?” Leo looked at Donnie who agreed emphatically.

 

“You’re done,” Donnie announced.

 

They all looked at me, small grins on their faces.

 

“Well, you gonna go talk to him or what?” Mikey said what everyone was clearly thinking. I took a deep shuddering breath and Michelangelo wrapped his arms around me, “It’ll be okay Sis.”

 

Then he let me go and a path parted for me.

 

“Well, here goes everything,” I mumbled, leaving Donnie’s lab, walking what I knew to be a short hall but for some reason it felt like a long dark alley, then climbing what was a dozen steps and suddenly seemed as tall as Mount Everest. I stood outside his room with trembling fingertips hovering over the white panel wood of his door.

 

 


	57. Chapter 57

**Love Somebody**

I know your insides are feeling so hollow

And it’s a hard pill for you to swallow, yeah

But if I fall for you, I’ll never recover

If I fall for you, I’ll never be the same

~Maroon 5~

 

 

**Raphael**

As I lay in bed I look past the patched up nightstand, with a dozen blades sticking out the top of it, skimming over the rainbow of papers stacked at the corner of my desk, pausing over Lucy as she munches on her leaf beside them, and fix my gaze on my bedroom door.

 

She’s standing on the other side of it, I can feel her. The question is how long does she plan on lingering before she summons up the guts to knock? Even more important how long can I lie here resisting the urge to fling it open and rip into like she deserves?

 

I climb from the bed and come to stand by the door with my hand hovering over the doorknob. The truth is I already know what I’m going to do. I’ve already made up my mind. All that’s left to do is tell her. My heart wrenches and aches as I yank open the door.

 

She steps back, and for the first time I allow myself to look in her stupid shining silvery colored eyes. I hear her gasp and heart slams against my plastron as I yank her into my room, slamming the door shut behind me.

 

“Raph-” she opens her coral colored lips and I silence her with only a look.

 

“You, don’t get to go first,” I hiss.

 

Her eyes fill and I feel my resolve waiver, then I remember all the suffering I’ve endured for the past three months and clench my teeth. She bites her lip, and reaches for a strand of her hair, which is a mess of wild wet red waves that seem to just kiss the top of her hip. She’s freaking beautiful and right now I hate her for it. Well, I wish I hated her for it.

 

“Okay,” she whispers.

 

“What the hell Zoe? We’ve been through this again and again, I can’t do this anymore! Every time we should be fighting together you run off and try to sacrifice yourself. I can’t,” It’s there, the damn lump, it’s back and it’s choking the air from my throat and there’s something painful happening in the center of my plastron and for a second I wonder if I might be dying. I just had to meet a girl. “You’re going to be the death of me ZOE! My heart can’t take it, this- this- YOU!” I’m stuttering and waiving my hand from me to her and I just want to grab her and shake her.

 

“I’m sorry,” her hand is open, resting close to her waist and she clenches it shut before opening it again and she blinks, drops her head and pulls her fist to her heart. “I never meant to hurt you.”

 

“But you did!” As I find the fire that fuels my fury I grab both of her shoulders and pull her to me, but that damn honeysuckle scent rushes into my nostrils and my heart jerks, “You did hurt me. I trusted you. I told you how I felt, I said I wanted more and you left. YOU LEFT!” My voice was rising, my hands trembling and the smell of her was filling my head and spreading out like a disease, consuming me from within.

 

Her eyes close a second before her cinnamon colored eyebrows knit together and she seems to force herself to open them again, “Raph, what can I do?”

 

“Stop killing me Zoe, stop because I can’t-” I feel something breaking within me and the lump shifts from my throat and slams against the back of my eyes like flames licking against a window ready to bust their way out. “This hurts in ways I don’t need, ways I don’t want, this- what you did, it’s everything I was trying to avoid. You can’t do this to me,” my teeth grind together and I lean so close to her my body presses against hers and my beak meets her nose, “I won’t let you do this to me.”

 

Her lip trembles and tears wet her eyelashes and she tries desperately to blink them away but they spill over as she seems to crumble in my arms, and as I hold her up those silvery mirrors peer into me and I burn, I burn so hot and so deep it’s like the flames are devouring me, my skin is suddenly keenly aware of her warmth, the softness of her flesh beneath my fingers, the frailness of her, and I see her own bonfire has died down to a fading spark and it rips at my insides so hard I can’t breathe and I know I’ll never let her go, as long as there’s breath in either of us I’ll come for her, I’ll fight for her, I would’ve never given up, because I can’t, “You have possessed me and I will never stop loving you for it.”

 

Her storm gray eyes spill over and I think for a second she’s like a thunderstorm, with the rain falling, her hair the fire from a lightning strike that she herself delivered, and as I wipe away the seemingly endless stream of tears she licks her lips and manages to speak the sweetest words I thought I may never hear again, “I love you Raphael.”

 

~Beautiful Mistakes~

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
